Razzle-4/95 thru 7/25/2012
This is so hard to write. I've been dreading writing this for 2 years since he was diagnosed with kidney failure. If love could of saved you, you never would of died. He is the best cat i ever had. It was aweful when i had to PTS. I put him in a woven basket and he freaked in the car. I had to hold him down but he was so weak he hardly faught me. At the vets they asked if i wanted to be with him. Yes. He was with me for 17 years of love. I had to be there for him as he had been there for me. He literally saved my life. The tech came in and i said i think he died, but he wasn't quite yet. He gasped for breath. She asked if i wanted to wait for the vet. No. Do it. Do it right now. It broke my heart to see him suffer like this and to see him gasping. The trip to the vet's did him in, but he was going to die anyway. I wished i had called the traveling vet and had it done at home. Afterwards i said i wanted some of his fur and the vet tech came in with the shaver. I said not now i'm too upset and i don't want to see you do this. I held him for a few minetues and told him i love you. I'll love you forever. I always told him love you, love you always. I'm so heart broken. It feels like someone stabbed me in the heart. He's left pawprints on my heart.
He was the best. He never bite or scratched me. He had the greatest personality. He never, and i mean never, did anything wrong. He was the perfect cat and that makes it so harder to lose him. He put up with my constant kisses on his cute, little rubber nose because i loved him so much. I'm sorry if i made you suffer. I didn't know.
I blame the vet in a way. I don't know if it would of made a difference or not. After his 2nd day of dialysis he rubbed his body against the vet. Something he never did so i think he felt kind of good. The mistake the vets made was not putting him on sub-q fluids when he came home until 4 days later but by then it was too late. He was just miserable and laying around waiting to die. I'm switching vets. They just didn't know anything about kidney disease which seems hard to imagine since they work with dogs and cats. Also all they thought about was the money. I've been with them since 1983. Now they are history.
Geets seems to be doing ok. He knew Razzle was dying.
I miss my boy so much and later i will post a memorial of him. I just can't do it right now because i'm so upset. I cry everyday for him. I miss you my baby boy and i'm sorry if i made you suffer and even though it was so hard to be there for you at the end, i'm glad i was there for you.