Help coping with the loss of our cat - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
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Help coping with the loss of our cat

Hi everyone, I'm new to the board and could really use your advice / support on an unfortunate event that happened recently...Yesterday morning my wife and I woke up to the howls of our cat at 4am. When we went to check on her, we found that she was unable to move, panting, and again, howling constantly. We immediately brought her to the 24 hour emergency Vet, who quickly diagnosed her with a stroke due to several blood clots. She was "paralyzed" in 3 of her limbs as a result and the doctor recommended euthanasia for the pain - which we reluctantly went through with.

Ever since then, we have been struck with immense grief and loss, as she was extremely special to us and truly part of the family. There has also been much guilt, as we are constantly wondering if we should have put her down or not. She was a shade under 7 years old, so she should have been in her prime, which make this even tougher. Any advice on how we can begin to cope with this / realize that we did the "right" thing? She was fine and happy right before we went to bad so this whole thing has just been so devastating.

Your advice is much appreciated.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 04:21 PM
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midland, MI
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I had my cat for 12 years and woke to a similar situation about a year ago. I held him and cried for several hours before I could get him into the vet where I had to have him put to sleep. I cried for hours, had him buried in my back yard and cried the entire summer every time I mowed near his grave. I finally adopted 2 cats in January and have found that to be the best thing to help me through my grief of losing Snoopy. Best of luck to you and know that you did what was best for your furry friend.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 04:23 PM
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Location: Parkville, MD
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Oh my gosh I am so, so, sorry. It is so hard when things like this come out of no where. It sounds like you did the right thing. Cats have a very high tolerance for pain so the fact that she was howling like that means she was really suffering. You showed her a great life with love, something that unfortunately many cats never even know. Focus on the good times you had with her and do not harp on the question of if you made the right decision. I went through the same emotions after I had my last cat put to sleep. Its never an easy decision to make but as long as you had her best intentions in mind you are always doing the right thing.

This is probably not what you want to hear right now but what helped me the most to get over my feelings of guilt and sadness was adopting another cat.

If you are not ready to do that, try fostering or even volunteering at a shelter. Its incredibly rewarding and there are a sickening amount of homeless cats out on the streets and in shelters and rescues. I foster for a city shelter and in the first week of August, they took in over 230 cats!!! Many of them are hungry, malnourished, pregnant, or injured. Whenever I get sad about my cat that I had to put down, I think about all the cats who never knew love from a person or have been abused, starved, or surrendered to the shelter just to be killed because there isnt enough room. Then I think about what I can do to help those in need. Nobody will ever replace your kitty, but keeping a positive outlook and remembering her in a positive way and spreading those positive feelings will help tremendously.


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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 04:38 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 184
I am very sorry. You did the right thing for her; she must have been in pain. Please don't question that you made the correct decision.

We had to have Felix put to sleep in April; he had severe cardiomyopathy and the resultant heart failure. The morning we had him put to sleep, he was yowling - the vet said he had probably thrown a blood clot and that it was painful. Even though we knew for a little over two years that we were going to lose him it was still horrible. I can't even imagine what you are feeling; going from her being healthy the night before to rushing her to the ER vet at 4:00 AM.

Whatever any of us say, it will bother you for a long time. Just know that you were there for her when she needed you most. Eventually the memory of that morning at the ER vet will hurt less and you will be able to remember and cherish her life with you. Soon you will think of her little quirks and smile rather than cry.

Hugs to you.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-10-2012, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5
Thanks for all of the kind words so far, it has been a great help. My wife and I figured maybe now is a good time for a vacation. Our house just feels so empty now without our cat, and just knowing that we will never get to see some of her everyday "quirks" again make the house a tough place to be.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2012, 11:48 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 42
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's beyond hard, and I know very well the loss and hurt you are feeling. Sending warm thoughts to you and your wife.
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