Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Longford, Ireland
Today I had to PTS, Jeepers, one of my fosters. She was only a baby at 3 1/2 months.
She came to the cattery with her 4 sisters and brother. They were all feral on arrival and obviously had never seen any love or gentle handling in their short lives. Luckily most of them were rehomed very quickly (which is great because normally the nervous ones don't get a look-in when there are other kittens around) and only Jeepers and her brother, Jigs, were left in the cattery at the end of last week. But then Jeepers got sick. Really, really sick. She stopped eating and drinking and lost all her weight in the space of 2 or 3 days. She suddenly became friendly and affectionate too, as if she knew she needed us to make her better.
I brought her home for some TLC. She was a completely strong and healthy kitten before this so we thought she was just under-the-weather and her illness would pass in time. The vet gave her fluids and a tonic and we were syringing food and milk into her since she wouldn't eat on her own. The next day there was no improvement so she went back and got more fluids. Then Jeepers started vomiting up everything that we managed to get down her and her stools turned liquid and off-white. The vet showed me how to give her the fluid injections and she had them 3 times a day but it was the only thing keeping her going.
This morning I took her to the vet again. We agreed we couldn't go on like this. We both wanted to get tests done to find the actual cause of the problem but of course there were no funds to pay for them so the kindest thing we could do was let her go. She purred and cuddled into me all the time until the sedation kicked in.
I should be used to this by now but I'm still heartbroken. There's always the self-doubt and second-guessing in a situation like this. Did we try hard enough to save her? Wasn't there any other option? And I feel so guilty for having to make this decision. Jeepers deserved and needed a life and a loving home as much as any other kitten but now she doesn't have that chance. That's the worst thing; all she ever knew was fear and uncertainty and pain. That's the worst life for any animal to have.
Rest in peace Jeepers. I'm sorry I couldn't save you.