For the Love of Our Fur-Family Members - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-31-2017, 09:40 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy For the Love of Our Fur-Family Members

Good Evening All,

My name is Erik and I am from Aurora Illinois. I have had fur-family members for nearly all of my life, and I am 44. I come from a family of pet lovers, my Mother trained our Himalayan to do several things on command including my favorite where she stood on her hind legs and waved. Anyone that tells you that 'cats can't be trained', just didn't have the love and patience to do so. My wife and I lost the love of my life last week. Penelope "Nelly" was a short haired domestic Calico who fell short of her 17th birthday. The hole it has left in our home is nearly unbearable. I lost my mother when she was just 53, and oddly the grief I feel for Nelly is very familiar to that. While I had Nelly since she was 6 weeks old, my wife has only known her for the last ten years. I did make the mistake of being a man (you know, born without the Good sense that God gave us), and reminded her of that fact...and that went over SO WELL! It doesn't matter how long you spend with a companion, once they are in your heart they are rooted there. Grieving is not a competition about who is hurting more, like my 4 year old self proved.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 11:23 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss, but you did keep your sense of humor. Nelly had a good long life with you. Hopefully you won't be sleeping on the sofa for too long.

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 12:58 PM
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I am sorry that you and your wife lost your Nelly. It doesn't matter how long they have been in your life when they leave they take a piece of your heart with them.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 01:30 PM
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I agree that there is something very painful about losing a fur loved one. They are our babies in a way because they depend on us to feed and take care of them. Time is the only thing that makes the pain a little dimmer. I am sorry for your loss.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 08:19 PM
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Much sympathy. It's hard, no matter how long or short the time has been. Oddly, I've found it easier to grieve for my cats than for many people. Not quite sure what to make of that.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 08:26 PM
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I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel. I am lucky to have had my cat for such a long time and the thought of loosing her is hard to even imagine. Some folks don't understand the part that furbabies play in their owners lives...but it seems like your wife understands this quite well. I hope you and your wife find some comfort in knowing you gave your baby the best life. I am so so sorry
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2017, 09:04 PM
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My condolences on the loss of your sweetheart. I can honestly say losing my cat would hurt me deeper and perhaps longer than the death of my mom. I have a healthy relationship with my mom. I love her very much and admire how much she sacrificed bringing me up. My mom is currently 87 and has the attendant pains but can still get around. She has myself and my older brother in her life. She has great-grandchildren. Death is a natural culmination of a long life.

My cat knows only me. When he looks in my eyes as he lays his head on my chest I know I am his EVERYTHING. I have also had in the past year 2 instances where because of illness- a dual diagnosis of Hyperthroidism/Cholangiohepatitis- I had to seriously consider euthanization. He has recovered from the HyperT and is showing improvement over the other. I can now look at the last few months as a BLESSING. So many of us have our wonderful furry friends snatched away suddenly or violently. I was forced to face my feelings about death and loss which I never did before. Will it make it any easier when the time comes? It won't make it harder... In the end we grieve alone when we lose a pet because of the total reliance they have on us. So feel her loss for a time and at a certain time remember how sad they get when we're sad, that will help you carry on.

"Better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all."
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June 2003- August 26 2017
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-04-2017, 02:06 AM
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I am so sorry about Nelly. No one here will find it odd that you feel her loss in a way similar to the way you felt the loss of your mother. Our kitties are like our furry little children.

We would love to see pictures of Nelly when you feel up to it.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-21-2017, 01:20 PM
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So sorry for your loss, Erik. You are so right, though, and glad you understand that love is definitely not a competition. we took in a stray and had her for just 5 weeks before she developed an inoperable tumor. I swear it was as heartbreaking or worse than the loss of both my parents. it does not take long for them to work their way into our hearts. she changed my life forever. she was my very first cat and didn't know what I'd been missing for 44 years of my life. have had cats every since and also foster cats and even went vegan. that sweet stray taught me about life and what my purpose on earth is! Nelly will be watching over you!
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