Thanks for the responses. I am also a foster failure and had every intention of giving up both of these little babies. I had homes for both within the first couple of days. Both to my siblings and their families, so I knew they would be well loved and cared for.
The home for the calico was tentative, but I had a backup home too!
After the loss of my precious little orange guy, his adoptive family was understandably upset, and the calico's family ended up having to decline (my sister and the kids all said yes but step-bro ended up putting his foot down - allergies.
My Mom was still more than willing to take the little girl, but as fortune had it, my other sister came across a neighbor with a littler of ten, so she brought two down for my Mom and my sister (the one who was to take the little boy).
I think I was just meant to keep this little girl!
Yes both of my boy cats are fixed. I am a huge advocate of spay / neuter and NO declawing under any circumstance. My furniture and walls are never more important than the cruelty, pain and disfigurement that declawing causes. That is another one of my "cats must be cats" beliefs. Honestly, if there wasn't such a problem with abandoned and feral cats, I would prefer not to have them fixed either. I have never gotten completely comfortable with making such an important decision for another life form and it makes me sad every time. But, as it is, I know it is the best thing for all involved.
Heh. Sorry about the tangent! I actually have some pretty fantastic news about my sweet little monkey today!
I have continued with the supervised visits with my big Jim and Dibo, feeding them in the same room, letting my little girl freely walk about and letting them sniff her etc. And every time I take her out the big guys are right there watching.
Big Jim, the orange tabby and eldest jungle beast (3+ years) is still keeping his distance, although the distance has gotten down to almost nothing.
Dibo, on the other hand seems to have turned a corner! He stills seems to view her as a plaything most of the time, pouncing on her out of nowhere, rolling her over and then bounding away like a clown, but today he grabbed her, held her tight, and started grooming her! She fought him a bit and a few time he gently held her in his mouth or gave her a little boop with his paw to keep her in line, but the whole thing was very maternal. He was dead set on getting her ears and back end spotless!
She acted the way kittens do with their Queens, putting up enough of a protest to show they don't need Mom's help, but for the most part she seemed pretty content. It was so touching to watch, my heart just swelled with love for them both.
After he was she fell asleep on my chest purring away. So it has been a wonderful day.
I will post some pictures of all of my loves. Her face is just too darn cute for words.