My former feral baby is dying - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
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My former feral baby is dying

Greg is first of my kitties in a lot of ways: he was my very first trap-neuter-release, the first of the ferals to decide Iíd adopted him, the undisputed alpha of all my cats, and my unabashed most beloved kitty. He is seriously bonded to me in the way that only former ferals can be, and vice versa.

I learned ten days ago that he has bone cancer in one shoulder that has already spread to a lung. He has at most 1-2 months to live, but I will likely have to end it sooner because the progression will be very painful. For the moment weíre able to control the pain with medication. He sleeps most of the time, but when heís awake, he seems almost normal apart from a noticeable limp in the one shoulder. Iím spoiling him rotten with Fancy Feast appetizers, toys, treats, catnip, etc., and of course Iím giving him tons of lap time too, every spare minute I have.

I know heís enjoying the time he has left. When itís his time to go, Iíll make sure itís as painless as possible. Heís had a good long life. Heís been as well-loved as any cat on Earth has ever been. Heíll be at peace.

I know all of that, but Iím still not dealing with it well. Even after ten days, I literally canít stop crying. I still have to go to work and take care of eight other cats and act like a moderately normal human being, and Iím barely making it. Even Greg is getting sick of me sobbing all over him, but heís my baby and heís dying, and I canít help it.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 01:43 PM
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Oh I am so sorry and you are having a normal reaction. It is hard to know where it is leading but it does give you the time to say goodbye and love him up. Even though I saw it coming with my dog, it didn't make it easier. It sounds like you are mourning as I did even before it happened. Since health can deteriorate pretty bad before life ends, I have to admit, I was happy to be able to relieve his suffering. And your other cats will seem even more precious.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 04:03 PM
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Jet Green... I am so, so sorry for the awful news about Greg's cancer. I know exactly how you are feeling... even when you have time to pamper them and spoil them, and even though you know they will have a really good last few weeks... it's still not enough. When my family dog, Max, was diagnosed with inoperable spine cancer, we had a few months with him. Even though we knew the time was coming... I couldn't control my agony. Everyday the wounds felt brand new and I would cry and be miserable. It was hard to stay happy around him and enjoy the days.

I will say though... in my experience, I recovered/mourned much quicker after having Max put to sleep (more so than my other animals). After about a week of mourning, I found myself thinking about the good times and all of the times we spoiled him after his diagnosis. It was easier to move on because even though we didn't realize it at the time due to our aching sadness, we were preparing ourselves (and had already started the mourning) and got to make a proper goodbye. I held him as he passed away on the table and bawled like a baby. I still miss him dearly, but there's a comfort and inner peace in knowing you did all you could and not having any guilt or regrets. Letting them pass away without pain is our ultimate sacrifice for them.

I hope you and Greg continue to have many more good days together. I know it is agonizing knowing the end is near, but just know you gave him such an incredible life... he is so lucky to have an owner who loves him so dearly and will give him an amazing last few months... and then ultimately, will help him end the suffering and pass away peacefully. *hugs*
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 08:03 PM
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I am so sorry. I started crying reading this, because I have that same special bond with my feral that I've been caring for for 4 years. She was a TNR when I gained her trust, after many years of roaming through trash cans in my neighborhood. She's getting old, and I know that one day I will face her having to leave me, either getting sick, old, or cars and dogs.....that is what I fear the most.

I'm just so sorry. I can tell how much you love Greg. Greg knows how much you love him too. You will know when it's time. I feel the same way with my pets, when I know we are at a point of suffering, then it's time to help them go. It's the most loving thing we can do for them.

I am in Orlando too, btw.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 08:07 PM
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Jet,
I am soooooo sorry...:'(
I know the feelings you are going through...two of mine had cancer, and like you, I did everything possible to spoil them rotten, for the time they had left...
And I knew when it was time to help them Fly to the Bridge, and I was holding them, when they flew away...
(((HUGS))) and Prayers...
Sharon

"A Cat must have three different names:
An everyday family name; A particular name;
And the name but the Cat Himself Knows, and will never confess." T.S. Eliot

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 08:15 PM
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Poor baby! It sounds like you are the best mom to him! I can't imagine your pain right now. I've had to put a few dogs down before, but not one of my cats yet. I use to be a dog only person. .. now I'm all cats. And I am dreading that day. I hope you find healing from all the great memories you both shared.
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 08:45 PM
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Jet, I am so very sorry. I know how hard this must be for you. I am sending you and Greg thoughts and prayers.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 08:49 PM
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Oh I am so sorry that you received that news and for your poor boy. I would be just like you and would cry constantly. I did so just reading your post. It's hard anytime we lose a furbaby but when you are so bonded like you are to him it hurts that bit more. You have given him a wonderful life and have this chance to make some extra memories with him. Big big hugs to you both
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-11-2014, 04:37 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you all so much for your posts. I am so sorry for all of you who have lost your babies too. I knew rationally that I couldn't be the only one to ever feel like this, of course, and that it will get better in time. But it helps so much to hear someone else say it, so thank you all for sharing your stories with me.

I'm feeling a little better about things today. I had the day off for Veterans' Day, and it was just gorgeous weather (my apologies to the rest of the country getting the arctic blast), so Greggy and I hung out on the porch all day while he basked in the sun. I know he's not entirely comfortable because his tail is constantly swishing, and he sleeps a lot of the time, but in between he's still getting around fine, even still using his scratching post! So I feel better watching him enjoy himself and knowing he's not ready to go just yet. And I'm trying to make sure he doesn't spend his last days in this world with his fur all soggy from me crying on him, because he really doesn't like that.

Thank you all again. I'll just take things a day at a time, but I really appreciate the comfort you've given me.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-11-2014, 05:15 PM
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Jet,
Anytime you are feeling at wits end....post here on the forum...there's lots of shoulders here, you can lean on, as you go through this journey with Greg...
(((HUGS))) and Prayers,
Sharon

"A Cat must have three different names:
An everyday family name; A particular name;
And the name but the Cat Himself Knows, and will never confess." T.S. Eliot

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