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Discussion Starter #1
I am not sure my male cat even likes me. I took him off the street when he was about 6 months old. He wasn't totally feral because a neighbor fed him but he wouldn't come near or anything. I kept him in the room and did the whole taming thing for about 2+ weeks. He eventually let me pet him and brush him and seemed fine. His mom was pushing him away and he seemed to really like my attention. I played with him, etc. He loves it outside and spends most of his time out there. Now he eats here twice a day, sleeps here alone and gives me a hello meow now and then. Once in awhile he will sit on my lap for his sake. If I pet him he goes to bite me but doesn't. If I walk with clunky loud shoes he runs from me. If he thinks I am going to close him in, he runs from me. Even when I put the food down he waits several feet away or under the table and doesn't eat until I walk away. I am always nice to him. I talk to him nicely. I just don't get it.
 

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Different cats different purrsonality, some are just too scaredy, some are loner, some can't live without human. If you can afford, find another one that matches?
 

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You should get a cat that loves to be held and to cuddle! I did that, best decision ever! It takes a lot of stress off the cat that won't let you pet him.
 

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It could just be a phase. He seems like an active cat, so it may APPEAR he doesn't need affection. But ALL cats need affection. For now I'd say-just go with it. He'll come to you. In fact, soon you may be posting how he's driving you nuts always wanting attention!
 

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They all have their different personalities, and you will be hard pressed to figure out what they are thinking. We took in a semi-feral cat that grew up as a kitten in our courtyard. He sat at the door looking in every day until we brought him inside. He walked right in of his own accord, like he'd been living here all along.

He has yet to let us touch him, but he will let us walk really close and he sleeps on the couch with us next to the other cats. He even occasionally follows me around the house. He is very comfortable inside and has no desire to go back outside, but he is still afraid of us. We are going to give him lots of time.
 

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A feral cat, or any cat that does not receive lots of socialization with people from the time it is born for the first 3 mos. of its life has missed out on being well socialized with people. The fact that he even does come on your lap occasionally is a plus. At six months old, he is in a busy teenage, "I'd rather do my own thing" phase. Don't force your affection on him, but give him some when he seeks it and respect his boundaries of how long he wants any petting. As he grows older, he will likely mellow out and be more tolerant of affection. Good luck!
 

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catloverami - he has now lived with me for about 1.5 years. Maybe it is because the mom is a house cat and he considers it her territory? I guess I should have put more time into it in the beginning although he really seemed more ready at that time and gotten more independent as he got older.
 

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A feral cat, or any cat that does not receive lots of socialization with people from the time it is born for the first 3 mos. of its life has missed out on being well socialized with people. The fact that he even does come on your lap occasionally is a plus. At six months old, he is in a busy teenage, "I'd rather do my own thing" phase. Don't force your affection on him, but give him some when he seeks it and respect his boundaries of how long he wants any petting. As he grows older, he will likely mellow out and be more tolerant of affection. Good luck!
Exactly! Percy, my orange boy was the most laid-back cat, and he loved to snuggle. When I adopted Robin, he wasn't so touchy-feely. That was hard for me. And he too went through the hyper half-year. He's very playful, and DOES like to be petted . Just not overwhelmed. :kittyturn
 

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Cats are just like people. They each have their personality. If you can step back and not "blame" yourself or your cat, just enjoy the relationship as it is, you both will be fine. Adding another cat is touchy...some are very territorial and it will put undo stress on everyone; others love a new addition...again, cats are as individual as people are. It is so wonderful to hear you have taken this cat in and are providing food and shelter and the occasional lap. Enjoy those sweet moments and release the need to control how the cat behaves and you will both have a long and happy time together.
 

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You should get a cat that loves to be held and to cuddle!
Easier said than done! That is to be able to predict the personality of the cat to be by looking at the kitten it is.

And even the observed behaviour of an adult cat at a shelter is not even close to a guarantee of its temperament once it is home.

But I think we cat lovers are easily pleased by our cats....and that is a good thing.
 

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wallycat - agreed and last night I did get a little lap action. It is extra special when it is from him.
Perhaps you misread him. You say he doesn't need ANY affection but he does occasionally give it, when it suits him. He recognizes your house as his home as he returns each day more than once....

He needs affection, just on his terms, and not as often as you want it.


That's not the same thing as a cat who doesn't need affection.

You have one cats who gives you affection and one who does so only on his terms.
 

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I have to just add that sometimes I wonder which is the better situation. I have VERY needy cats and some days I feel guilty that I need to do things around the house, leave for errands because they circle and wait to pounce for attention ALL THE TIME. I do the best I can, but sometimes wonder if having a more aloof kitty is not so horrible ;-)
 
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