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I've been dreaming about Beauty a lot lately, most of it is seeing her in the clouds in the dream looking at me. A couple of nights ago I had a dream like I was being blamed for what happened with Beauty, as though it was my fault! I certaintly hold myself responsible for what happened still!

Dream went like this:

I was in the college library tracing over a picture of Beauty and colouring it in, a member of college staff came in and told me off for Beauty's departure

I've been avoiding tortie cats as well, because I want them to be Beauty so badly, but of course they are not! Even tortie and whites I've been through a stage of avoiding!

Is all of that normal or am I a prat? or need help? :cry:
 

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No! Everything you described seems a perfectly normal part of grieving. No matter how much time passes, the loss of a pet can always still hurt. Reminders (such as other torties in your case) can renew the pain, and I don't blame you for avoiding kitties that look like your Beauty. But never blame yourself for what happened, there is no way you wanted to bring any pain upon your beloved pet. It's not your fault, but I am sure the guilt you feel is just a feeling that goes along with the grief. :patback
 

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I fully agree!

...and here are my thoughts upon the matter:

IMO, when our deceased pets visit us in our dreams, they are doing so to comfort us, to let us know we made the right decision, we helped them and they are greatful.
Your dream about copying and coloring a drawing of Beauty...I can not believe that came from Beauty herself. She would NOT have wanted to cause you pain. I absolutely believe that particular dream came from deep inside yourself, beating yourself up about the circumstances because you feel guilty. Your previous dreams about Beauty show me that she approved of your actions on her behalf. She would not like you to stress and agonize over her, because she has shown you she is happy in the clouds. You need to believe in her and forgive yourself.

I am sorry if that all sounded "hokey", but I really do believe it.
Heidi
 

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I strongly believe that our beloved departed kitties are able to visit us, both in dreams and waking. But you need to remember that dreams also come from feelings deep in our subconscious.
I mostly agree with Heidi. When you dreamed of Beauty looking down from the clouds, she was telling you that she is in a blessed realm, and happy, that you need not blame yourself. :angel

Your dream being in a library, tracing over a picture of Beauty, is from your subconscious. You trace the picture in the library because of the way you are always going over your memories of her, and the librarian giving you a tongue lashing represents the way you blame yourself.
That dream comes from you, not from Beauty. :)

You need to forgive yourself, because Beauty wants you to live on, and enjoy the happy memories of life with her.
Know that those memories of happy times will overcome the pain and sadness you feel. It just takes time. :patback
 
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