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Discussion Starter #1
Backstory:
We adopted our female (fixed) 2 year old cat named Panda from a local shelter about 3 months ago. Panda was purring all the time, every day. So cuddly I even described her as a cat dog because she was so loving!

About a month ago we were shopping for cat food and I saw this gentleman with two kittens in his shopping cart. I asked to pet one and he told me I could have her. I took one look and saw a 3week old kitten in horrible condition. So we took her. It wasn’t planned.
So here’s what’s happening

•i feed the cats together to promote bonding
•panda used to lay on my lap and next to me and follow me around the house - now she wants nothing to do with me
•she chases the kitten around and it seems playful and sometimes they nap together - but she can be rough when they’re playing
•she used to sleep in our bed every night - now she doesn’t
•she doesn’t play with her toys anymore either (she didn’t often but she liked the laser and doesn’t chase that anymore)
•I try to make sure I give her attention and pet her but she literally gets up and walks away

ALSO*Panda used to be an outside cat the rescue told us. And she desperately wants to go outside but we live close enough to a main road it makes me very nervous :(

I think she was just getting adjusted to our home and loving her new life and then this kitten came and now I barely ever hear her purr anymore. This makes me so sad.
it’s been two months.
Do you think she just needs to adjust?
How long does this take?
Thanks so much!!
 

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Do you spend time alone with Panda? Maybe an hour or so a day with just the two of you, no kitten around, might help.
 

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Maybe Panda is punishing you for bring home competition . . . or she could be so entranced with her new companion that she's forgetting about you. It was good of you to give this kitten a home. I wouldn't give up on them yet; sounds like they're off to a pretty good start. It can take a while for cats to sort things out when they're in a new relationship.

Jackson Galaxy, the cat behavior expert, says not to feed cats together, that it's too stressful. So separating them at mealtimes is one thing you could try (give them their own plates, several feet apart) although I doubt that will solve your problem entirely.

It's great that they're playing together, but maybe put them in separate rooms after a play session. A young kitten can be too rambunctious for an adult cat to take in large doses. If that's the case with Panda, she may be getting rough with the kitten just because she needs a break.

And, since you live on a busy road, inside is definitely the safest place for your cats no matter how unhappy they are about it. Panda would probably enjoy sitting in an open window on nice days. Just be sure the screening is cat-proof and secure.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
  1. Maybe Panda is punishing you for bring home competition . . . or she could be so entranced with her new companion that she's forgetting about you. It was good of you to give this kitten a home. I wouldn't give up on them yet; sounds like they're off to a pretty good start. It can take a while for cats to sort things out when they're in a new relationship.

    Jackson Galaxy, the cat behavior expert, says not to feed cats together, that it's too stressful. So separating them at mealtimes is one thing you could try (give them their own plates, several feet apart) although I doubt that will solve your problem entirely.

    It's great that they're playing together, but maybe put them in separate rooms after a play session. A young kitten can be too rambunctious for an adult cat to take in large doses. If that's the case with Panda, she may be getting rough with the kitten just because she needs a break.

    And, since you live on a busy road, inside is definitely the safest place for your cats no matter how unhappy they are about it. Panda would probably enjoy sitting in an open window on nice days. Just be sure the screening is cat-proof and secure.

  2. We got her a window perch for all main windows and she seems to enjoy that. This morning she came and cuddled with me for a short while before going back downstairs. She only did that because the kitten was out of the room so I agree it’s definitely probably too much for her.
 

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Well, first, cats don't punish their owners. And if they're already eating together, that's very good. Jackson says to feed them apart at the very beginning, then with a barrier, and if that's okay, try together.

I think you're doing everything right. It will just take time. Cinderella stopped sleeping on my bed for several months when I brought Cleo home, but she got over it. It was sad, though, while it was happening, so I understand how you feel.

I think more alone time with Panda will make her happy and start bringing you both together again.
 
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