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A stray showed up at our house a few months ago and being a cat lover I fed him. He never left and started hanging out on our deck. When it started getting colder I decided to have him neutered, shots and tested so he could live inside. We currently have two female cats who have never liked him since they first saw him outside. When I first brought him in he stayed upstairs for a while and eventually started feeding them on opposite sides of the door until it seemed like they could tolerate each other. He never once showed aggression towards the girls but he would do this whiney cry as if he wasn't happy. I noticed once I started letting him downstairs that he would fixate on the girls. He would sit and stare at one of them until eventually he would try to attack them. I tried diverting his attention with a toy when I saw him start to obsessively stare on one of them but he would go right back to staring. Fights started happening with him being the instigator. It was always a "drive by" type of attack until tonight. I made the mistake of leaving him unattended with the other cats while I cooked dinner. A fight broke out and now one of the girls has a puncture wound on her ankle. I've never seen a cat obsessively stalk another cat like that. I understand that he's a street cat and that's probably how he's always survived but I don't know how to change this behavior since he's probably over a year old. He also has other obsessive traits like licking me or my husband. It's like once he gets started he can't stop. He's needy and needs to lay on someone at all times. If I get up he has to follow and be under my feet. I've thought about trying to get him adopted into a new home but I don't think he would have high chances of finding one. He's such a sweet lap cat but is like a Michael Myers to the other cats. I don't want to just give up on him but I don't know what to do.
 

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I've been where you are, but my mean kitty was a tiny one, and not a stray (picture attached). She just hated my twins. I tried for 1-1/2 years to make it work, which I regret so much. She was the sweetest cat with me and it broke my heart, but none of us were happy. She found a new home where she was the only kitty and is spoiled absolutely rotten by the sweetest little girl. I think your cat would do great like mine did, in a one cat home. You could check with your vet, maybe someone has recently lost their kitty and is now ready to give a new cat a home. That's what I did, vet have great networks and connections. I don't mean to sound like you should just give up, and you will probably get some great suggestions to try out. I'm just saying "rehoming" isn't a bad word. I do wish you all the best.

128829
 

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I actually had this problem, almost exactly. Even the excessive grooming part. But I had a female cat already, and brought a stray female into the home. She had gotten used to having to fight for territory and resources. She even had abscesses when we brought her home.
Excessive grooming is usually a self-soothing technique, which is a sign of stress.
It took over a year of working to get them to get along, but I didn't know then what I know now. Now I am actually training to be a feline behaviorist.
Now, my cats play together, occasionally groom each other, and sleep by each other. The more dominant one (Ellie) has even become respectful of the other's (Nia) food bowl, and playtime. I thought there was no way they would ever even tolerate each other, let alone be friends.
A full behavior modification plan would have to be implemented, and it's going to take time and patience. But if you're willing to do it, there is a chance it could work out.
If you're interested, let me know and I would be happy to help you to come up with a plan. It would give me experience as well, so it would be a win-win. ? I know how frustrating and upsetting a situation like that is, and I wish you the best of luck either way. ❤
 

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