[Shewolf]

Hello, I have a 8 years old neutered Persian cat, Tomy and he is the sweetest of them all... until my boyfriend comes into the room. It hisses, growls, runs to take cover whenever he comes over.
I have to admit that he is more of a dog person if it means something, though he accepts cats.
One time I left them together in the same room for 30 minutes am the things got so bad he urinated and pooped 3 times on the floor! All this while in the run for hiding.
I fail to understand how Tomy can be so sweet and cuddly with me and a freak with my boyfriend. We planned to move together but we are postponing this for a year now and it starts to get on us. We tried him ignoring the cat, him giving his food, throwing treats l, play therapy and no results.
Please, if you have any advice, I'm willing to try anything.

 

[catloverami]

Could it be that your boyfriend is doing something to "Tomy" or it's something about his odor? Some cats do not like to be stared at, or teased and will react negatively to someone poking or threatening to poke at them even tho the person is trying to instigate some play from the cat. Does your boyfriend have a dog? Could be Tomy smells the odor of the dog and this is upsetting him. If he does have a dog, have him come over with freshly laundered clothes on and see if that makes a diffference. Occasionally cats take a dislike to someone and it isn't obvious what it is that's bothering them. It does seem odd that Tomy is not responding to food or treats or play. If your boyfriend is doing other things like poking or pretending to jump at Tomy or making weird noises at him, especially when you're not in the room to observe, that could cause Tomy's reaction to him. Try and have boyfriend ignore Tomy altogether again, not making any eye contact and see if that makes any difference. Perhaps if you give Tomy a toy with lots of catnip on it and let him eat some of the catnip, it may calm him down. Would be interested in hearing an update.

 

[Shewolf]

Now that you say it he teased him in the beginning but nothing that he wouldn't accept from me. Regarding his dog, he gets along well with her. I also tried the catnip technique, no response even though he loves it.
I can see Tomy feeling distressed and taking shelter. When I tried throwing treats to him he would eat the one from me, none from my boyfriend and eventually none from me which tells me that the tension he feels is so high it won't let him eat.

 

[catloverami]

Some cats are more sensitive and forgiving then others.....sounds like the teasing your boyfriend did at the beginning set kitty's opinion of him. I think if you give your kitty lots of loving without your boyfriend, and have your boyfriend ignores kitty when he's there---no staring, no contact, no teasing--that Tomy should eventually get over it. Not a guarantee, as some animals (and people!) can hold grudges for a long time, cats included. All the more reason that intros should be low key and friendly. All the best!