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Amy, I'm so sorry...

5K views 17 replies 16 participants last post by  Arianwen 
#1 ·
Dear Amy,

I went through great lengths to take you home, because I knew you were special. Not only were you strikingly and uniquely beautiful, you were also the sweetest, friendliest, calmest cat I've ever met. Every person who ever came into contact with you was touched by your loving nature.

I also knew you were sick and weak and malnourished and maybe somewhat neglected. But each issue I knew you had was something I could manage. So I combed out your fleas one by one, I gave you a bath, I fed you the best food (and lots of it) and took you to the vet at every sign of a problem. My husband, who had been very hesitant about getting another cat, instantly fell in love with you and helped me take great care of you. We saw you improve, become more active, smell better and look healthier. You always wanted to be near us, you took naps on our laps, and on our keyboards, you played like a kitten and you slept on our pillows with us at night.

Less than a month after getting you, only a few weeks ago, you began to show symptoms of something more serious. Each day it was something else, something new, something worse. Upon seeing your blood work results, the vets had no idea where to even start testing you to come up with an accurate diagnosis, but each possibility was scarier than the last. When a vet mentioned chronic renal failure, I scoured the internet to learn how to best take care of you so that you would live a comfortable and happy life as long as possible with this cruel, incurable, progressive and fatal disease. Nothing could be worse.

Well, so I thought. It turns out the likeliest possibility wasn't CRF. It was an even faster-progressing, more cruel and more fatal disease called feline infectious peritonitis, which kills cats within days or weeks, or at best a few months after the first symptoms begin showing up. I saw you fade away quicker than I could even process all this information. One day you were eating all your food, the next day you barely ate and the day after that you stopped eating altogether. You lost 0.5lb in just those couple of days, withdrew to the closet and just slept.

We gave you appetite meds and tried force-feeding you until you regained some of your appetite. For a week, you showed signs of recovery. You ate and drank and became more responsive, even if still very weak, malnourished, and lethargic.

But then your symptoms came back even stronger. You couldn’t keep your food down, so you stopped eating again. Then one day, the FIP began to affect your neurological system. You could no longer stand straight or walk without losing your balance and tipping over. It all happened so fast, just in a matter of hours…

And there was nothing I could do. Not only was there no treatment for your disease, there was also no way to even relieve your symptoms or make you feel more comfortable for the remainder of your time with us.

We tried our best. But sometimes, the best you can do isn't nearly enough. You were only 3 years old. So young, and such an amazing cat. You deserved to live a full and happy life and die of old age. Instead, you got this.

We didn't even have you long enough to take enough decent pictures of you with the good camera. We didn't even get to make videos. We didn't even get to finish introducing you to Liz. Most of our friends didn't even meet you. We didn't even get to tell many of the people that know us about you. You didn't even get the chance to get fully used to your new environment and new people. But we did have you long enough to love you. It's too bad love isn't enough to save a life… or else you'd still be here with us, healthy, happy, forever.

Goodbye, little one
 
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#11 ·
No need to be sorry... I'm sure Amy could see how much you love her and how much you tried to help her. She got to know what it was to be loved and to be special, and you made her life as comfortable as you could. Without you, her whole little life would have been tragedy. You may not have gotten to share Amy with those close to you, but you shared her here, and I know she has a place in my heart with all that you all went through. She will live on in your memory and your heart, and she's happy and well now, playing at the Rainbow Bridge and waiting to be with you again someday.
 
#12 ·
I am so sorry about Amy. I read your other post and know how hard you tried to get her better. It is so very sad. I think you summed it up when you said, "It's too bad love isn't enough to save a life… or else you'd still be here with us, healthy, happy, forever." She knew love in her time with you - keep that in your heart.

Hugs to you.
 
#13 ·
I am so sorry for this heartbreak. Life & death are so unfair. I'm thankful though that she knew such great love & care. I rescued a cat at one point and only had her a short time before she passed away. I was devastated even beyond my own expectations. How could this creature I'd had such a short time with cause so much pain? Love is not bound by time. Your Amy will always be loved.
 
#16 ·
Thank you guys for your kind words.

She really got the short end of the stick. The nicest cat, with such a terrible ending.

We had really high hopes for her. We thought we could get her to be healthy and gain 1 or 1.5lbs... we thought we'd be able to introduce her to Liz to the point where they'd be friends. We thought she'd be healthy enough to be a therapy cat!

She was so calm and sweet and so easy to handle and so obedient. She came when called, had no issues being picked up and was friendly and loving to everyone. She'd make the PERFECT therapy cat. She could make so many sick people happy!

But instead she was the sick one, and now a piece of me is gone.

Never in a million years would I have thought this would happen! I was so naive, I didn't even imagine a cat could have something so terrible. The worst case scenario in my mind, would be that it would take some time for her to get fully healthy, and maybe her and Liz wouldn't fully get along.

But who could ever imagine or prepare for a scenario like this? I didn't even know what FIP was before the vet told me that's what he thought she had. And then it turns out it's pretty much the worst thing she could have. For most feline diseases, you can look them up and find out how cats get it, how to treat it, or at least how to live with it. You can find support groups and hear success stories.

For FIP there weren't support groups, because there isn't even enough time for support groups. It's all death. It's all information about how it's contracted, the symptoms, and that's it. No treatment, no success stories. If you look up FIP cats on youtube, it's all dead and dying cats. There's no living with FIP, like FIV or FeLV or CRF, it's just death. It's untreatable, fatal, fast, and cruel.
 
#17 · (Edited by Moderator)
my heart goes out to you guys

Hi im so sorry for your loss i lost two cats within the last yr due to feline corona virus one was my sweet natured black and white cat jess and the other my ginger boy dexter,they were both 14 when they died.They spent approx a wk at the vets with the corona virus and 2months later jess had a heart attack on me and died and 4 months later dexters turned into fip and i had to have him put to sleep ,its such an awful disease i had never heard of it and i have had cats all my life.I know exactly how ur feeling and my heart goes out to you both.
 

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