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Late last year, I went to a birthday party for an old coworker. He had a indoor/outdoor cat who had kittens. He had asked me if I wanted a kitten and I didn't think the timing was right and I already had Trey. But I went in the room where they were kept to peek at the babies. There were 5 kittens and the mother who are usually locked in a rather small size dog cage. My ex coworkers children (3 and 7) were dropping the kittens on the floor, picking them up in awkward positions, being rough and handling them like small children do. Only this time the parent WASN'T teaching them how to handle them correctly. He was giving the babies away for free to people he barely knew! I felt so horrible and I knew I had to save someone. If you'd have seen it, you all would have went home with one.. or TWO!

So I come home with Pancakes. (which REALLY surprised my husband lol)

It's been 3 months since I brought her home and shes about 5-6 months now. I was concerned she could have been traumatized and unfortunately I think I was right.

She comes to my husband and I and cuddles, purrs, wants to be loved every once in a while. But it's only if shes in the mood. She absolutely HATES being held or picked up to be transported to a different part of the house. If she didn't come to you first, she will dart out of the way of any petting. She won't pay any attention to her name being called or anything unless you have something she can pounce on. and she bites! a lot! It's not very hard, not enough to draw blood. But if she doesn't want affection, she always bites.

Also, she sleeps in her cat bed every night, however, she kneads and chews on the rim of the bed multiple times throughout the day. If she does it because my coworker lied about her age and she needed her mama longer.. I don't know how to comfort her because she doesn't like affection she didn't ask for from us.

I've never experienced this before with my other cats. I don't want her to be an antisocial cat when she grows up. Any suggestions?
 

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I'm not much of an expert but I adopted a rescue cat a few months ago and some of her behaviour is similar. She was around a year when we took her, though. She comes to us on her own terms, but we've just let her set her own pace and she has gotten more friendly. She wants to play ALL the time and bites gently to let us know after a little petting. I've started saying her name loudly with NO when she does this and pulling my hand away. She stops when I say no, and hopefully will get more used to not doing it. I would suggest playing with the kitten a lot to bond with it, I think that has improved our relationship with Genie, and she seems happier with us when she's getting regular interactive play.
 

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I adopted Cleo when she was a little over a year old. She, too, had been traumatized by a 2-year old BRAT. To this day, three years later, she HATES being picked up and, most of the time, runs away if I walk towards her. But she sleeps on my pillow and has to knead me every night before going to sleep. She lets me know when she wants to play and when she's hungry. Everything is on her terms.

Cali was my biter. You have to let Pancakes know that it's wrong. Say OW! really loud, push her away or put her down when she bites. She'll eventually get tired of being ignored, but it will take a while.
 

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Muffs was not well socialized as a kitten and she too hates to be picked up or cuddled. She's slowly (very slowly) coming out of her shell. She will let me pick her up for a little while, she sometimes sleeps with me and she now enjoys being petted around the ears...although it's still questionable as to whether she'll ever be a cuddlebug or a lap cat. I doubt it, but I keep hoping! Still, I think the only thing you can do for your cat is to be there for her and don't push her...over time she'll learn that you can be trusted.
 
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