I'm new here and I currently own 3 cats. The first ones' nickname is Kam, he's 5 years old and half siamese and half DSH. He's very friendly, affectionate and independent.
The second is the one this post mainly refers to. Her nickname is Ika, she's 5 and a DSH.
The third is Kai, she's 1 year old and a bengal.
I also have 2 large dogs, 1 bird and 1 horse.
Since I have had Ika, she has always been what others describe as "feral". I have had her since she was 1 month old, I raised her with people around and the above animals. I don't know much about where she came from except that her mother was a ginger tabby and her father was a black stray.
I trained her (as I do all my animals), so she knows and performs the following on command: sit, stand, lay down, roll over, fetch, stay, go to bed, inside, outside, up, down, get off, hop away, gentle, no claws, calm down, come here and no. If I ask her to stand or sit while I check her over, she has no problems doing so, she will let me check her eyes, ears, mouth and check her over for ticks everywhere etc with no problem. She won't respond to commands unless they are from me.
The issue is when she is around other people. Although I raised her some close friends and roommates, she does not tolerate people near her, even those she has grown up with. I have never seen her accept another person except myself (and my father, even though she only sees him once a year, 3 times total). She will sniff them, and if they're fast enough and willing to ignore her body language, they will get in a pat or two before she hisses, meows a warning or attempt a warning bite. She has never been abused in any way.
She will not even tolerate children in the same room as her, she will hiss and start acting out before they even step into the room. I have seen her actively attack and chase salespeople who attempt to walk up to the front door (who needs a dog when you have a guard kitty?). It's gotten to the point where I don't take her to the vet anymore for her yearly checkup because she always leaves the vet severely bloody and scratched up (I feel very bad for the poor guy) and it's too stressful for both her and the vet.
She will bite others who live in the house who try to pat her. Even 2 of my closer friends who are vets, she likes them better that most but she will not allow them to touch her (she used to when she was a kitten but not since she has been an adult). Just before she became an adult (just after I had her fixed) she started lashing out when people touched her. I've tried getting them to feed her routinely so they establish a bond, but that didn't work. She has no interest in playing with them either. She will come down and meow hello when they get home and thats about it. Anybody unfamiliar who walks in the door she will actively follow and guard (literally) until they leave.
It's the same with animals. She follows a live and let live policy as long as they leave her alone. If they touch her or get too close, she reacts badly. When I have introduced animals visiting, she simply attacks (I have seen had 2 large dogs, one of which was a rottweiler, cowering in the corner because of her, even though she was in a cage). The other animals know to leave her alone. The one exception was when I was playing foster mom to a kitten for a temporary period of time. They bonded well, played together, slept together and otherwise were best buds. After the kitten was homed, she went back to her usual self. It took her a good deal of time to adjust to the kitten but she pined for him once he was gone.
She has been properly socialised both when she was younger and once I got her. She has no real reason for the antisocial behaviour. She acts like a feral except for the fact that she likes to be around me (the only real difference is that she isn't solitary). She greets me when I get home, sleeps on my bed, is affectionate and even if she's not interacting with me, she likes to be in the same room as me most (80%) of the time. She will do most things I ask her to.
She has a very good memory and is highly intelligent (I have to really search for new and elaborate toys to keep her occupied). If I dare come home smelling like another cat it will take her 3 days of sulking to forgive me. She spends her play time down in the barn and is generally considered the barn cat (i.e. bird, bugs, rat, mice, lizard and snake catcher) for all other intents and purposes. She will only eat raw meat really and won't drink unless it's running water.
I'm at a loss with how to integrate her with other people in our "family" as such. I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible because this has been going on so long that I'm starting to wonder if it's just her personality and that she's just a one person cat. My bengal is similar except she is less combative (she prefers to run away) is willing to accept some contact from others and is more solitary. I'm at a loss as to how to integrate her into our "family", particularly since those I live with are not good with cats. I really don't know what to do but I don't want the bengal to start copying her behaviour.
Can anyone help?