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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have 2 cats Farah (4F) and Oscar (2M),, Farah was born in my closet from my mom's cat Fiona, so I've been with her since birth but there was a period of time when I couldn't take her to move out with me. We couldn't afford a cat but then we were talked into taking in Oscar. He was a kitten that was outside at my aunt's house, she lives on a busy road so everyone wanted my bf and I (us) to take Oscar and release him in our somewhat quiet neighborhood so he wouldn't get ran over. We didn't want to put him outside at night so we kept him and ended up falling in love with him and worked out how to keep him. About a year later Fiona disappears and Farah started pulling out her fur. We went and got her and now she's been with us for I think 3 months now. Maybe 4 but my memory is bad.

We followed Jackson Galaxy's advice on not letting them interact for a week or see each other, set up a gate in the hall and put her in my office. She got comfy fast, so we started swapping them. I kept getting people that would tell me to let them meet. It scared me but I went through with it and now I feel like I messed up the process.

Oscar will go up to Farah and start sniffing her butt, and tapping her with his paws, then he will go up to her throat and start biting and pinning her on the floor. He bunny kicks her and holds her, biting her as she yells and growls. I don't let this happen for more than a few seconds, sometimes Farah breaks free and starts hitting him but he doesn't leave her alone. I'll separate them and place him in the base camp, and he seems to kind of understand he needs to leave her alone but then can't shake the urge to stare at her and go after her.

I do play with both of them at least twice a day for 15 min each,, I feel like my issue is that I don't want to devote all of my time to them. Oscar can play for 25min at a time and Farah could play for 40 with how little she runs after the toy. I wanna get started on my career but I feel like they need all of my attention. It's just chores and cats and I don't like it, but please let me know what I can do differently for them, I've tried a lot but he won't leave her alone.

Restarting the process is pretty useless, they wont do the scent swap again because they already know each other.
Oscar refuses to put attention on a toy instead.
They eat their treats and food together and Oscar doesn't seem bothered by her being there at all.. He'll even let her lick him during treat time.
I probably just don't play enough with them but they wanna play all the time, they stare at me and yell at me when I'm doing other things to get me to play with them.

So,, they both wanna play but Oscar plays too rough and won't let the roles reverse like normal cats. We had to take down the gate because they would jump it anyways, got another one thinking they couldn't jump that but they did, Farah just wants to have free range of the house but Oscar won't leave her alone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
"but please let me know what I can do differently for them, I've tried a lot but he won't leave her alone. "


We tried getting calming treats but he won't eat them, thinking about a medicine to put on his paws so he licks it off and maybe that'll chill him out but I'm not sure what to get
 
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