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Someone posted these on another forum; they cracked me up!

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

>>>

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

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There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.

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Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

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Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

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Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.

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Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

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The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

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My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

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Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

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My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

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Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

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I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

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So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."

>>>

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.
 
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