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I adopted a stray from a humane society and he has become severely attached to me and my spouse (we are the only ones that live in the house). He was having issues coming around at first and so I thought that if I get another cat it might help (give him company while we were at work, someone of his own kind to associate to) and so I adopted another unwanted cat (a girl) from a different shelter. She has been with us for awhile and he has been really abusive towards her from the start... she is not allowed near me or my spouse as he gets aggressive and fights with her.

She is having issues coming around.... and will not come near us when he is near or runs when we try to pet her or anything. She can't even play with the cat toys.... he is totally alienating her from us. I don't want to have to take her back to the shelter as she is a nice cat but I don't have anyone to take her and the fighting is getting under my skin.

Please advise (help)
 

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My thought is that in your well-intentioned attempt to make your cat feel comfortable, you instead caused him to feel invaded by another cat just when he was starting to think you were his alone. This is something that may resolve itself, or may not. I have seen it go both ways. But if you have only had the second cat for a short time, I think it would be best to return her to the shelter or rescue. Right now, neither cat can be comfortable, nor can you, and for the new cat it's as if you got suddenly put into a situation where you were trapped with a very abusive person and couldn't get away and it went on for days or weeks. It would be terrible. If your first cat doesn't learn to be nice to her, she won't ever be happy there.

Personally, I wouldn't let it go on, but this is up to you. You can work with them to try to change things, but with cats there are no guarantees, and this doesn't sound like a situation where I'd hold onto much hope.

Just my experience.......... I once inherited a cat and because I inherited him I was determined to keep my promise and keep him and make it work out with my cat. I tried everything for 3 years, and those were miserable years for both cats and for me. I rehomed him and wished I had done so a lot earlier. It took over a year for my relationship with my cat to fully recover and for him to trust me again.
 

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Hello Mrsstoll. You're in a very tough spot. Have you checked out Jackson Galaxy on Youtube? He has lots of helpful advice about how to deal with warring cats. And Mosi is right. Sometimes no matter what you do, some cats will not accept another cat into their home and everyone's miserable. So give it your best try, but know that sometimes re-homing a cat is the best thing you can do for them. If it's a no-kill shelter, they may take her back and find her a good home. If not, on-line agencies like Petfinder allow people to post cats through private adoption. Either way, I hope it all works out for you.
 

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After I lost Cinderella, I adopted Gigi. Sweetest cat ever - to me.



1623219318975.png But she hated the twins. I tried for a year and a half to make it work, and to this day I regret it. I regret putting all my girls and myself in such a stressful situation for so long. Eventually, I found the perfect home for her. I don't think "rehoming" a bad word, sometimes we're just the middleman for finding just the right place. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, I sobbed like a baby when I handed her over, but it was the best decision for everyone.

Good luck with whatever plan of action you choose.
 
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I agree with Marie that re-homing would be the best for this cat to a home where there are no cats. What happens sometimes is that a litter of kittens is not kept together for 3 mos. this is crucial time when they learn their manners and socialization, such as controlling their bite and claws and reading body language. An orphaned kitten or one taken away from a litter at 2 mos. misses out on this training and often will never adjust to another cat, and must remain a single cat in a home. So don't blame yourself for your cat's disposition. Also some cats genetically just don't like other cats and prefer dogs or another animal companion or just be alone. Getting a stray from an adoption agency does not always work out as it may have been in a cage alone, and wasn't put in a room with other cats to socialize. All the best, and hope you'll give us an update.
 
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I also agree the re-homing would be best at this time.

For future reference, we've never really followed the rules for "introducing" cats (see Jackson Galaxy's videos) but we did this time around when we brought in a 6 year-old male as a buddy for our 3 year-old male and it worked beautifully. Lots of patience required. Keeping the new cat in a separate room, swapping scents via towels, feeding them both on either side of the door, cracking the door open to let them sniff. Day 7 and they are chasing each other and laying close on the couch.

I think you are past this point and may want to consider it in the future.
 
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