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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is long so I do apologize, I need help understanding how to help my cat become less clingy. I have a beautiful female torti I adopted from a shelter 4 years ago. A friend had told me about her; the shelter was having a bit of a hard time placing her as she was very nervous and would hide anytime they brought her out to show prospective adopters. She was placed briefly with an older couple who tried to make her a lap cat, that didn't go well with them getting scratched to pieces so they brought her back to the shelter. When I got her I brought her home and put her in a spare room set up with everything she needed. She hid under the bed and wouldn't come out, but I stayed in the room and read softly hoping that would soothe her a bit. The next morning I went into her room and she came out so affectionate she almost scared me - I was waiting for her to attack. She never did, and since then has been very, very attached to me. I was thrilled with that because this was all new to her and to see her not scared and trusting me was a huge step. She slowly warmed up to my husband and is really a very sweet girl. But, even after 4 years she is still very, very clingy - she even attacks my husband when she wants my attention, not all the time but she is very possessive and is not shy to show it. At times she will bite me if I'm not paying attention to her. If I'm in the kitchen or otherwise preoccupied she will sit and wait for me, and will follow me and cry until I sit down so she can sit on my lap. She sleeps with me every night, usually pressed up against me or on top of me. It's all very sweet but my concern is that this is not healthy for her. I try to give her as much attention as I can but I don't rush to her like I did the first couple of years, hoping she'll get used to the idea that nothing terrible will happen if she has to wait a minute or two. I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this, and if there was anything that could help her be more confident. Thank you!
 

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I don’t think you’re going to be able to change the way she is. I sometimes hear people complain when their cat doesn’t show any affection. I think you’re fortunate to have an affectionate kitty. As she gets older she may change but I doubt it. I have a very affectionate little one myself. It’s just me and her. There isn’t anyone else in our family. If there were 2 cats in your household that got along and comforted each other that would probably help. But that would be a long shot and might not work. I don’t see any other options. I hope you don’t have plans to rehome her. She seems like a loving kitty. I know it can be overwhelming sometimes. I get that way as well but I would never give her up.
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh no - I have no plans to rehome her. We adore her and I do agree I am very fortunate to have such a loving kitty. I'm just concerned about her emotional health. She does not like other cats, or most people. She had a rough time of it, she was found with a litter of kittens outside of a hospital in the city. At the shelter she tolerated her caretakers and would play and be affectionate up to a point. They advised that she would never be a lap cat, she bites and scratches when she feels she's had enough and would prefer to be left alone. I was fine with whatever she preferred - I just wanted to give her a safe home. My take is that she decided I was her person, and our home is where she wanted to belong, which is an honor knowing how untrusting and afraid she was initially. I think you're right though - she probably will always be this way which is fine with me. I didn't mean to come across as overwhelmed or at the end of my rope, I have a lot of patience with her given her background and love her to pieces. I just want her to feel more confident.
 

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Maybe she needs a companion? How does she deal when you aren't at home?
I know introducing a new cat can be tricky, but it might be beneficial to her. Maybe not a cat, but another compatible animal. My friend has a cat and a rabbit, they are great pals.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I thought of that though she really doesn't 'play well with others', cats or humans. But a rabbit sounds interesting. I used to have pet bunnies. The shelter said she was absolutely fine alone, and preferred that actually. I think she's ok at our home, but I wonder sometimes because when when we come home from work she just can't get enough of us. It's really not a problem for me - I just was concerned that it may not be healthy for her to be so attached - she literally follows me room to room and will at times cry until I sit down so she can be on my lap. Or she'll sit like a statue on the floor right next me and wait till I'm done with whatever I'm doing. Thank you for the suggestion!
 
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