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Discussion Starter #1
The father of one of my closest friends is dying from cancer. He has a few days at best .. indeed he may not last today.

I want to show support for my friend who is obviously rather distressed. He has been sending occasional updates by text message and I've sent messages back such as 'I'm sorry, this must be awful for you' and 'call me anytime you need a chat' ... hopefully I'm doing the right thing. I know what its like to lose your Dad to cancer but its still difficult to know quite what to do.

Could I just ask people if they could send my friend and his family prayers or good wishes etc? Thanks.
 

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*sending thoughts/prayers*

Making yourself available to him is the right thing for him right now. You could also send him a card to let him know you care and are thinking about him. Many people shy away from tragedy because they don't know what to do. Well, the person going through the tragedy doesn't know what they are thinking/doing, so any outside support is usually welcomed for the bit of distraction or stability it provides and the availability of a shoulder to cry on.
They just need to know you care.
 

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It's hard to know what to do. But keep texting, even after his Dad passes. I know from personal experience that every little note, every little message means so much, because so many people do tend to stay away, not knowing how to respond.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for your good thoughts and prayers.

His Dad is still here but for how much longer I dont know. Currently participating in a text swapping conversation sharing a joke ... at least he is still smiling.
 

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Ahh that's really crap... Hope he finds the strength to get through this, and I hope his dad goes in peace and dignity.
 

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One thing to think of is that he may need you even more in the weeks and months to follow his dads passing. When my mother passed away from cancer the final month leading up to her death was so intense and the whole family was around. Afterward we all planned the service together and for the week after there were many people around and things were very hectic. It wasn't until after everyone went home and it got quiet that the full realization hit and grief set in. That was over 13 years ago but I always try to remember when other peoples loved ones pass away that the hardest times are after its all over and everyone has gone home.
Thoughts and prayers with your friend and his family.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I got a text message from my friend at 4.30am this morning ... his Dad had passed away about half an hour before. Apparently it was very peaceful. He just seems rather relieved its all over to be honest, at least for the moment.

But I can imagine so tough times ahead as it all sinks in. I agree with you Sue, he is going to need support for a number of months. It didnt sink in with me initially either - I spent the day of my fathers death at a friends house eating rabbit and feeling rather numb (one and only time I've ever eaten rabbit).
 
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