I know this may be a financial stretch since you have a husband living in a nursing facility but it does sound as though its time for a behavioral intervention. Try calling the local Veterinary school at a nearby university to see if they have behavioral couceling by phone. I know Tufts vet school in Philadelphia offers this service for a fee. Do you have an SPCA near you? And do they have an animal behaviorist who can assist you? Our San Francisco SPCA just offered an afternoon seminar on senior cat issues. Among the various speakers was a doctor of veterinary medicine who specializes in animal behavior. Also, post in the behavior area on this and other cat sites to see what solutions others came up with.
Crisis in home!
Hello there...I have just joined as there is a cat crisis and i don't know what to do!
We have two mature female cats. One has lived with us much longer than the other. My husband had the 2nd cat who lived in his workshop/man caves where he spent alot of time. He had a massive stroke last year and doesn't live at home. His cat has decided to move into the main house. TThe 2 cats have never liked each other and always fought. Now it is much worse. Last week the "outside" cat (Mia Rose) seemed to win a fight and chased inside cat Charm through the house. Since then Charm seems to scared to use the cat door and has been spraying everywhere..worse than before. Last night i had to let her in the front door as she was scatching on it to be let in. Then this morning i found 2 cat poos in the bathroom! I have restarted feeding Mia in an outside room. What else can i do?? My husband doesn't want us to send Mia away.:dis
We have two mature female cats. One has lived with us much longer than the other. My husband had the 2nd cat who lived in his workshop/man caves where he spent alot of time. He had a massive stroke last year and doesn't live at home. His cat has decided to move into the main house. TThe 2 cats have never liked each other and always fought. Now it is much worse. Last week the "outside" cat (Mia Rose) seemed to win a fight and chased inside cat Charm through the house. Since then Charm seems to scared to use the cat door and has been spraying everywhere..worse than before. Last night i had to let her in the front door as she was scatching on it to be let in. Then this morning i found 2 cat poos in the bathroom! I have restarted feeding Mia in an outside room. What else can i do?? My husband doesn't want us to send Mia away.:dis
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I concur. Welcome catbiskits. 
You have two females in a turf war. First of all, retrain Charm to use the litter pan. Place Charm in a small room with her own litter box, food and water and when no one is around to monitor her inappropriate elimination, keep her in that room. This will force her to use the litter pan and reinforce that behavior. Once she is consistently using the pan, they you can let her out.
Mia Rose is now the dominant cat of the house and is making sure Charm is going to remain subordinate. Mia Rose will take every opportunity to intimidate and beat up poor Charm. Therefore, give Charm her own litter pan and food and water removed from Mia Rose's area. You should find Charm will tend to stay in her new safe area. Impress on Mia Rose you will not allow Charm to be attacked in Charm's safe area. That means you must be dominant over Mia Rose; you are the ultimate top cat, not Mia Rose. Feed them separately, give them attention separately, but make sure you spend equal time with both of them. It will take two to four months for Charm and Mia Rose to come to a comfortable resolution in this territorial struggle. You can use Feliway in common rooms to decrease the tension between the two cats. Good luck.
Mia Rose is now the dominant cat of the house and is making sure Charm is going to remain subordinate. Mia Rose will take every opportunity to intimidate and beat up poor Charm. Therefore, give Charm her own litter pan and food and water removed from Mia Rose's area. You should find Charm will tend to stay in her new safe area. Impress on Mia Rose you will not allow Charm to be attacked in Charm's safe area. That means you must be dominant over Mia Rose; you are the ultimate top cat, not Mia Rose. Feed them separately, give them attention separately, but make sure you spend equal time with both of them. It will take two to four months for Charm and Mia Rose to come to a comfortable resolution in this territorial struggle. You can use Feliway in common rooms to decrease the tension between the two cats. Good luck.
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