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Discussion Starter #1
I know that lots of people on here have more than one cat... I was wondering if any of you were criticised/looked down at for having more than 1 cat(or any animal for that fact). Bf and I have 1 dog and 3 cats. Each cat we got we waited a few months before telling anyone. His family isn't big on cats but once they met the first one they liked her a lot. The second one they were kind of mad... well we just announced the third one(had her for a month and a half but said we got her today) and they are livid. His sister keeps sending him texts saying to sell her and make money before we move to our new place in a month(we live in a 2 bedroom apartment, moving to a 3 bedroom townhouse). She keeps saying we are ruining our lives, etc. It is so rediculous.

She even had the nerve to say our newest one is the ugliest cat she ever saw(She is a champion ragdoll ex show cat). I am furious. It is taking all I have to not speak my mind. The have an ugly little mutt dog that they think is the cutest thing but I never said a word.Our new place has way more space, and she is 6 so it's not like she is anymore trouble. I am sooooooo mad I cannot think. It is no ones business or place to butt in like that.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?
 

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For one thing, I don't think it was wise to have the cat 1.5 months, then just say you barely got her. When people say to get rid of it, then they'll probably wonder why you balk so much... you should explain that you've had her longer and just now decided to TELL them about it, instead.

Anyway, the only reason my dad gripes is because Paizly makes a mess with near-daily vomiting and peeing. It's why I'm saving up money to re-do the floors with all vinyl tile...soooo much easier to clean, and then it won't sink into the carpet and the stink won't stick around like it is now.

Also, be careful of your city and apartment/house rules. Where I live it's a legal limit of 2 pets. You can have 2 dogs, OR 2 cats OR 1 dog 1 cat. And yes, they enforce it if you get caught...my sister's neighbor had a cat taken away because she had three and Animal Control found out.

Other than legal limits, who cares what other people think as long as you're taking proper care of the pets (not getting into a hoarding situation that compromises the health of you and the animals) and you're happy with a few furbabies. You have to live and deal with them, NOT your outside family members. If they don't like them that much, they don't have to visit....right?


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To us they are part of the family.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
First of all, I did want to tell them we had her for a while... bf won't tell the truth because they will give him more crap for hiding it. (He didn't want to tell them right away because of their reaction). The city we are moving doesn't have any pet limits, we checked and we own the place so we don't have anyone to answer to.

We definately are not hoarders. We clean several times a day and take care of them all individually. They will visit because they are nosey, I don't know why they are so mad. Apparently we are ruining our lives.
 

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My ex husband always makes it a point to say things like "oh, you came up in conversation and I told so and so how you have like 15 cats". I have 4 cats. With him, he's just mad because as soon about a year after he moved out, the cats came in. He's just a big hippocrite. When he is here, he pets them and plays with them, and I know he secretly wishes he had a dog, but is too lazy to care for one.

I really don't care what he says, personally...not anymore. I just ignore his stupid comments, but he never mistreats my cats because he sees that would not fly at all. Then again, that is just another stupid comment among many. His mantra is open mouth, insert foot.

You will learn that ppl that usually meddle in other ppl's business will do so regardless of what the situation is. For now, it's the cats, and you being intimidated to not tell them about the cats sooner just gives them power to intimidate you further. In the future, it will be having a baby or not having a baby, career choice, etc. They just like to hear themselves talk and if you let them, they think you like it, too.

Sounds to me, and I may be wrong, like your bf doesn't really speak up often so they are used to manipulating him. This is something out of their control and they don't like it. He needs to man up and speak up.

If it were me, next time these ppl or person comes over without being invited, and I would make it a point to not extend an invitation, I would not admit them in. When they ask why I would say my home is my safe haven, and I don't appreciate anyone criticizing my family, my pets, my property, or my home so I'd rather you not come in so you won't get upset and volunteer comments that will makes things worse.
 

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Actually, I'm guilty of that, too. I had Zinny several months before my dad found out. He only found out because at church somebody asked him if I'd found my kitten - she had gone missing the previous Wednesday and I went around the neighborhood with a picture flier asking.

"Now how many cats do you have?!"
"Only four. But two stay outside usually!" (except I don't let Zinny out anymore after her missing for half a week. Xanthe still goes out!)
 

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The second one they were kind of mad... well we just announced the third one(had her for a month and a half but said we got her today) and they are livid. His sister keeps sending him texts saying to sell her and make money before we move to our new place in a month(we live in a 2 bedroom apartment, moving to a 3 bedroom townhouse).
why do they feel they have the right to be angry? are they buying the food for your cats and paying your vet bills?

She keeps saying we are ruining our lives, etc.
i'm sorry, but lol. you have three cats so you're "ruining your life"? are you an ex-hoarder and this is back-sliding behavior? because that's the only way i can see three cats ruining your life. or if they were three bobcats maybe.

i hate those hoarding shows, they make me itch, (i was under the impression that hoarding meant keeping too much stuff, but some of them just quit cleaning their houses 40 years ago and live in filth) but i did see an episode for animal hoarding, the daughter was married and had something like 37 cats, it was hard to count them all because several of them had kittens. (second problem: unaltered animals)

anyway, the mother was constantly asked for money (and she gave it) for food for the cats, (no vet bills because as far as anyone could tell, she never took them) and house payments as well. they actually got to the point where their house was being repossessed, so yeah, the mother was practically hysterical. obviously that was indicative of much deeper problems but the cat population had become first and foremost.

so . . . i guess i'd be tempted to tell this person to step off if it were me (okay not tempted, i most likely just would lol) but probably the best thing to do is say nothing. it's not her business and if she's livid over three cats, there's something else going on.
 

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Its none of their business. I can't beleive they would go so far as to say you are ruining your lives.. thats crazy talk! I don't talk about my cats unless people ask or I know they understand and are interested. Up until a little over a month ago, I only had one cat. Now I have two and 4 foster kittens. Pretty much everyone I tell this to looks at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them. Then usually they make some joke about me being a crazy cat person. I am passionate about a lot of things and I learned a long time ago that many people are quick to judge you for things that they dont understand. It doesn't bother me at all, as I am doing something that makes me happy. Live and let live, I say
 

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Well, if they are telling YOU that you are ruining your lives I would tell them to mind their own business.

If they are telling you BF that you are ruining your lives, I don't think he should be telling you what they say. He should stand up for his GF and tell them to mind their own business and keep you out of it. He's just adding to bad feelings by telling you what they say and not being supportive to you by placating his family.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
You will learn that ppl that usually meddle in other ppl's business will do so regardless of what the situation is. For now, it's the cats, and you being intimidated to not tell them about the cats sooner just gives them power to intimidate you further. In the future, it will be having a baby or not having a baby, career choice, etc. They just like to hear themselves talk and if you let them, they think you like it, too.
You hit the nail on the head. These are very critical/judgemental people to begin with... basically if it's not something they would do then they think it's wrong and criticises anyone that does it(whatever the situation may be). Even when we announced where we bought the house the sister got mad saying we should buy it in the area where they live(which is triple the price which we cant afford) but then they get mad that we lived in an apartment for a year saying it's low class. It's infurating really. Bf is scared of them (sister and mom) because they don't let stuff go and he gets in trouble from them about anything we say to them, which is why we hide stuff.

Ya they pretty much deemed me as a crazy lady and that our place is a zoo. Just because they only had one dog at a time and no cats, we are weird. They say our lives are ruined because we are young and can't go out or on vacation.... first of all we can go out and secondly we don't plan on going on vacation for several years as we just bought a house and can't afford it. I really don't know why she is giving us a hard time. I am tempted to say something but that would give her more to complain about....
 

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Well, if they are telling YOU that you are ruining your lives I would tell them to mind their own business.

If they are telling you BF that you are ruining your lives, I don't think he should be telling you what they say. He should stand up for his GF and tell them to mind their own business and keep you out of it. He's just adding to bad feelings by telling you what they say and not being supportive to you by placating his family.

Well they were directing all of this to us both not just me. He did defend us and the animals and basically saif if you don't have anything nice to say about the new cat then bye and he never responded back after that.
 

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My city allows as many pets as you want, as long as you can take care of them.
We replaced my Mustang <sigh> with an SUV so I can take the three dogs ( a Golden Retriever and two Old English Sheepdogs), along with Zoey and Talley to the lake easier.
I would love to have another dog, but my family gives me grief too. The Traveling Zoo is one of the nicer comments.
My husband is probably the reason that I am not a hoarder. (semi-seriously)
 

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Well they were directing all of this to us both not just me. He did defend us and the animals and basically saif if you don't have anything nice to say about the new cat then bye and he never responded back after that.
Unfortunately, he will need to continue to do this and so will you. People can be trained, too. Negative comment = conversation ceases and either you (and your bf) leave, hang up, or they are asked to leave depending on the situation. No arguments, just walk away. Eventually, they will learn you guys are serious about being respected, and will do so in order to avoid the negative consequence. However, it may get worse before it gets better. Good luck!
 

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Unfortunately, he will need to continue to do this and so will you. People can be trained, too. Negative comment = conversation ceases and either you (and your bf) leave, hang up, or they are asked to leave depending on the situation. No arguments, just walk away. Eventually, they will learn you guys are serious about being respected, and will do so in order to avoid the negative consequence. However, it may get worse before it gets better. Good luck!
this
 

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I don't believe I've ever had the problem with people criticizing our number of pets, two cats and a dog, sometimes three cats and two dogs if my aunt is here (she is frequently). We're more the ones joking about the zoo-like conditions.

There is likely no way around this problem unless your boyfriend is willing to step up and address it, and even then, they may not agree with his opinions and the only way to prove their theories wrong will be to keep doing what you're doing every day, until one day they may realise it's been years and your lives were never ruined, only enhanced.

I do know people that haven't wanted dogs due to vacation issues. The argument is fairly ridiculous, on vacation I'd either bring the dog, find someone to care for it, or board it... plus vacationing is not a priority at this point. As far as longer day trips, there is always the option of doggie day cares, sitters, just leaving the dog in the house - possibly in a more dog-friendly room if they're destructive. People with animals still have lives. Plenty of people have a multi-pet household, a large number of cat owners have at least two cats, three and four isn't unheard of either... and I know on here there are people with even more. No need to judge, as long as the people are capable of caring adequately for their care.

Once at the dog park I saw someone with 5+ pugs. I did think that was a little odd (you don't usually find a family with more than two dogs, plus how to tell them all apart?!), but whatever works for them.
 

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Sometimes, I let people know that they are being judgmental. I've learned to do that because I used to take all the crap home and think about it over and over again and feel very angry and frustrated about it. Now, if I have the chance, I just face people and tell them what they need to hear. If someone starts with the "cats are dirty...how can you live with four cats..." I answer right back "well, I haven't said anything about you smoking 7 cigarettes in one morning between classes or have I? (we're teachers)" or something like that so they experience how it feels to be criticized just because you think you have the right to do it... ultimately, as Shan says, people are quick to judge you for things that they dont understand. So the best thing you can do is reach a point where criticism doesn't affect you anymore. That's my goal. (and well that's why you end up having 2 or 3 good friends and that's it haha)

Plus what Shan says about not talking about the cats unless someone asks is something I do too. I have a colleague who's crazy about dogs and she talks about her 4 dogs all day and how expensive they were and how pretty they are and she is always ready with pictures in her laptop...annoying.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thanks to everyone for your input/advice. I think you are right. I'm not going to bothering bringing it up and defending myself/ourselves... We shouldn't have to. Like someone mentioned, it will get worse before it gets better. She says she hates long haired cats so the fact that our latest is medium/longhaired she is therefore ugly and will never like her, I think she is just saying that to convince us to give her up. Rediculous. Her mind will never change but if she wants to be civil and visit she will have to deal with it.
 

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Tell em to stuff it! Everyone has their thing that makes them happy. Some people play golf, some ride motorcycles, some get a boat, some go to baseball games, you enjoy your pets. Nothing wrong with that, as long as they are well cared for, which is seems they are.

My only regret about my pets is that when it comes to moving, which I am looking to do soon, I am having a really hard time finding someplace that will allow them, and an even harder time finding a room mate that is okay with it. I think in the future I will be limiting my pets to 2 at a time for this reason. Until I own my own home that is. ;)
 

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When I had 26 cats I had a hard time finding a good vet. Most vets figured because there were so many cats in my home that I was a hoarder and the cats would be semi-wild when brought in for vaccinations. I finally proved to two separate vets that I was not a hoarder and all my cats were handled every day; we had four people in the household then and we all had our own special cats we spent time with daily.

Yes, I was criticized for having so many cats; I also had three dogs in the household then. I did not bother defending myself. I just said each of the four of us living in the house had our own cats and with the breeding of the Maine *****, I had 26 cats. As long as I could keep them clean and give them vet care and good food, it was no one's business but my own and my family's. Some people put aside their prejudice about me having so many cats in the house and became friendly and enjoyed exchanging stories with me about their cats. Others continued referring to me as the crazy cat lady and those I ignored. A few of the really obnoxious ones got the "I like my cats a lot better than I like you" treatment and eventually they started leaving me alone and the gossip and judgmental attitudes ceased.
 

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I have had as many as 4 dogs and three cats here, but when I separated from my husband he took two of the dogs with him. My mom gave us alot of crap about the dogs and told me I should sell them, find them homes, etc. I just think she doesn't like dogs. I have two dogs and two cats now, and she encouraged me when I was interested in one of her neighbors kittens. No one else gives me any crap, if they did I'd tell them to mind their own business. There are no limits in my city or neighborhood, my house is clean, and everyone is vetted and well cared for. I know people who spend hundreds of dollars on hobbies, sports, movies, eating out, clothes, etc., well this is my hobby. I am content with the two dogs now, and once the kitten gets here I will have three cats again. That's probably my personal limit, but thats because of my finances and the size of my house. I have had a guy recently tell me no one will want to date me if I get any more animals, lol. I'm not worried.
 
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