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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Peanut doesn't tolerate petting for too long. A few strokes and then his tail starts going and if you're not quick, he gives a nip or tries to grab your arm. It's odd, because I've never encountered a kitten or cat that didn't tolerate petting. I'm guessing he wasn't pet all that much early on. I was watching Animal Planet and there was this animal behaviorist who was showing how to get a feral to take to affection by petting and then treating.

Would this method be recommended to help Peanut?
 

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My 2 yr old raggie, Nigel isn't overly affectionate. He wants love and attention on his terms. Otherwise, he's happy to be left to his own devices. My other cat, Archie...he can't get enough love and attention.

Every cat has his/her own personality. Your cat may eventually grow to enjoy being petted, or they may always be fickle about it. I would suggest you not push it. Pet Peanut until he starts flicking his tail and giving you back-off vibes. That will begin to build trust with him. If he knows that he can trust you to listen to him and act accordingly, he will learn that you aren't to be feared.

When he does allow you to pet him, you can treat him and give him lots of praise. It's all about baby steps. He may never love being touched, or it may be a trust issue right now. Just build the bridge and give allow him to meet you in the middle without rushing him.

Lots of luck!
 

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Ika is try much like this. If you pat her and she doesn't want to be, you're just going to get bitten or worse.

If he's young you can try behaviour modification. Otherwise, you may just have to learn to be more adept at reading his body language and learning when he's going to allow it VS. when he won't allow it.

Probably best if you try both. If you can teach him to allowing petting while he's younger it will certainly help, particularly once he's older.
 

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Midnight, the wild cat, went from this, when I tried to give him a rug to lay on-



To letting me pick him up, pet him and scratch him under the chin. We even exchange head butts. :p We just don't know what kind of sub-human creatures have abused them in the past. Patience.
 

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seems like over stimulation. There are plenty of threads on this on the forums. Basically it takes time to overcome. when petting stop right before his normal thresh hold and just rest your hand on him. when he calms down try a few more pets. then just rest your hand on him again,. Over time just increase the number of strokes you give as he learns to tolerate longer sessions. it may take awhile but eventually most cats conquer the over stimulation. just watch his limits and slowly increase it over time. If he gets up and moves off let him, when he comes down off the stimulation he will come back. most cats just move off a short distance and lay down a few minutes.

Like everyone else mention. it takes time, patience and listening to your cat. Good luck :)

I had one a lot like this even though she was what I called "thin skinned" she learned to enjoy petting sessions, I just let her move away when she got over stimulated til she thought she wanted more. At first she bit but stopped when she knew I wasn't going to push her to fast.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone. Will definitely try this. The only other issue is he just doesn't tolerate my fiance touching him at all. It's a weird thing really, but I think if we both keep working with him, he will be a well-rounded and well-behaved adult cat. Right now, he's still in the adolescent phase. I almost wish he could talk, so I can hear the teenaged rhetoric of "You ruin my life!" or "You guys are so uncool!".
 

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There are cats who dislike being touched, but they likely were never handled much while very young kittens. Some cats get overstimulated and if you don't stop will bite, hiss or run away. BotanyBlack gives you some good suggestions how to get a cat used to being touched and petted more. If a cats starts showing irritation with the tail twitching or thrashing and the ears going back, it's time to stop. I've found stroking a cat for a bit while it's eating is also a good way to associate petting with something good. There are cats tho that crave and enjoy petting.....my Devons are like that. Don't think I've had either Alkee or Zuba show any irritation or jump away from too much petting since I've had them as kittens and they're both 7 now, but I think this is a general characteristic of the breed. Sometimes it's their upbringing, but it's also genetics....there are some breeds that are just more amenable to handling than others.
 

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As far as getting Peanut to like your fiance, he should be the one who gives him the treats, and while Peanuts eating he can sneak in some gentle strokes on the back of his neck. He could also feed him his meals for a while and see if that doesn't make a difference in Peanut's attitude to him.
 

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dr doolittle powers

yeah, wouldn't it be great to know what our cats are actually thinking? hmm...on second thought, maybe not. if they're mad at me and looking at me like a piece of chicken, i don't want to know! sure would make health issues a lot easier, though, of course. hate the guessing when we think there's something wrong.

anyway, ditto on everyone else's advice about going at peanut's pace. just gotta back off AS SOON AS he gives you a sign. our Angel chomped both me and my hubby pretty hard when we insisted on brushing her for a long time in the beginning. we learned to stop when she started biting the brush. and NOW, we have learned to understand that "look" she gives us when she's had enough. she doesn't have to bite anymore at all. just a fakeout move toward us is as far as it goes now.

as for your fiance, i think he's just gonna have to take it REALLY slow himself. i've read that sometimes in a room full of people, some cats gravitate toward the ones who pay no attention to them because the cats know they won't be bothered by someone trying to pet them! maybe if your finance ignores him enough, peanut will eventually realize he's harmless and start ASKING for attention from him. keeping my fingers crossed for ya!
 

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Don't tell the old man, but I'm just being nice to him so he'll finally give me the key to the garage door --- Midnight, the wild cat. ;-)

Lady Nikita von Meouw, the latest stray that followed me home and wouldn't leave, tolerates longer and longer sessions of petting as time goes by. She started off allowing me to stroke the top of her head for a few seconds, now she loves being stroked along her back too, and for a much longer time. She comes asking for it. I think one of the factors that influenced this change is that cats always want what the other is having, and she sees me petting my other two cats so much.
 

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Maybe it's the way you're petting him? For a long time I was confused as to why I'd be petting Callie and all of a sudden she'd squeak and swat at me with her claws out. but then if I went to walk away she would grab my hand (no claws). lol So I was like, "Ok, she doesn't want me to pet her but she wants me to pet her..."
Then I realized she doesn't like to be pet from the top of her head. She likes being scratched on her cheeks, the back of her neck, between her shoulder blades, and just being stroked from her neck to her tail, but if I start at the top of her head and run my hand down her back, the second time I go for her head is when she has a small freak-out.
 
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