Cat Forum banner

1 - 20 of 31 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Now many of us have had their kitty get jealous of their Girl/Boy friend but what do you do when your mate is jealous of the relationship you have with your cat?
Now my ex and myself were an ordinary looking couple, we're never going to be on the cover of people magazine.
Now Samantha was a different matter entirely, she was a pure blood Blue Torbie Maine Coon Cat with a pedigree as long as your arm.
I'm not bragging but she was drop dead gorgeous and her sweet disposition was even better then her looks.
Now Samantha was 2 years old when I met my ex, spoiled rotten and totally bonded with her Papa, she was rather indifferent to other people unless they put forth the effort to win her affection.
Now my ex was jealous of Samantha and when we got a place together expected Samantha to obey her.
Samantha remained true to her nature and indifferent to my ex.
Now she would complain to me about the cat and I'd tell her Samantha's a cat you need to win her over.
Instead of this my ex felt the need to get a cat of her own, she befriended a little stray that was hanging around our house.
This was Little Chiquita, she's a good cat but sometimes especially if she see a cat through the window goes all feral and attacks Samantha.
This was a bone of contention as I would not tolerate fighting .
About a year later my ex left, her leaving wasn't cat related, the cats tolerate each other.
What ticks me off to this day is she left her cat and has never inquired about it since.
I think she only wanted a cat because I had a cat and my cat ignored her.
Samantha recently passed away at 16 and Little Chiquita now 12 has been a great comfort to me.
Anyone else have problems with their human partners and their Cat.
I can say our pets never have hidden motives, they get jealous when they believe they're not getting the attention they were used to.
The cure for that is both people bonding with the cat and loving it.
Human relationships are much harder, there's a lot of unspoken expectations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,332 Posts
I feel sometimes like my husband gets jealous of the cats and the attention they get but he would never admit that I'm sure.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,968 Posts
I was so worried introducing MowMow to my current SO. I knew he tolerated cats and would TRY to get along because it meant a lot to me. It went down SOO differently than I anticipated. They adore each other. He has pictures of MowMow hanging in his office and uses his picture as an avatar in forums and on FB. When he's up here from AZ MowMow climbs all over him and they are best buds.

I've asked him before if it bothers him how close MowMow and I are and he thinks it's "endearing" and that we are "a package deal, he loves us both".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,168 Posts
My boyfriend and I adopted our cats together, so there wasn't much issue there. Now, my bf has had cats most of his life, and knew more about how to interact them with me, but he did get a little frustrated with Apollo at times. Apollo was a new challenge for us both, being very stubborn and hyper and difficult to train.

I used to worry that he didn't like Apollo, or regretted us getting him, but now I often see him cuddling with him, playing with him, calling him, "My boy," and such. So clearly they did manage to bond. He's never gotten jealous of the cats though. The cats like us pretty equally, and I give both him and them equal attention. And he's probably a little relieved when Apollo gives me more attention because Apollo can be...demanding. ;) I think if anything, he's really glad we got cats because he sees how much I needed this. He's commented many times on how much happier I've been since getting cats. I just cannot thrive without some little furry companion to care for, and I was really missing my childhood dog since moving away from home.

No offense cooncatbob, but I would be very frustrated with your partner's attitude about that whole thing. I don't think I could tolerate that sort of behavior in a partner. It is a shame that she just abandoned her cat, but you are both probably better off without someone like that in your life.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
My boyfriend and I adopted our cats together, so there wasn't much issue there. Now, my bf has had cats most of his life, and knew more about how to interact them with me, but he did get a little frustrated with Apollo at times. Apollo was a new challenge for us both, being very stubborn and hyper and difficult to train.

I used to worry that he didn't like Apollo, or regretted us getting him, but now I often see him cuddling with him, playing with him, calling him, "My boy," and such. So clearly they did manage to bond. He's never gotten jealous of the cats though. The cats like us pretty equally, and I give both him and them equal attention. And he's probably a little relieved when Apollo gives me more attention because Apollo can be...demanding. ;) I think if anything, he's really glad we got cats because he sees how much I needed this. He's commented many times on how much happier I've been since getting cats. I just cannot thrive without some little furry companion to care for, and I was really missing my childhood dog since moving away from home.

No offense cooncatbob, but I would be very frustrated with your partner's attitude about that whole thing. I don't think I could tolerate that sort of behavior in a partner. It is a shame that she just abandoned her cat, but you are both probably better off without someone like that in your life.
No offense taken.
I consider taking in a small furry animal a binding contact, you agree to care for and love them and they provide loyalty and unconditional love in return.
I was and still am appalled that she just left her cat like it was nothing and it speaks volumes about her character.
I still perplexed that she was jealous of Samantha, all she had to do was put forth the effort to win Samantha over, Samantha was well worth the effort, she was a gentle soul and a loving and loyal friend, the fact that she didn't faun over just anyone was one of her more endearing qualities.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,168 Posts
No offense taken.
I consider taking in a small furry animal a binding contact, you agree to care for and love them and they provide loyalty and unconditional love in return.
I was and still am appalled that she just left her cat like it was nothing and it speaks volumes about her character.
I still perplexed that she was jealous of Samantha, all she had to do was put forth the effort to win Samantha over, Samantha was well worth the effort, she was a gentle soul and a loving and loyal friend, the fact that she didn't faun over just anyone was one of her more endearing qualities.
Agreed 100%

Maybe Samantha sensed something about her character early on too? I've found my pets to be very telling in who they do or do not warm up to. Every former friend I had when I was growing up, whom my dog did not like, ended up being someone who betrayed or wronged me in some major way later on. Our pets can be very smart and see things we may not notice right away!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
Fortunately for me, Buzzy is a love bug to EVERYone he meets. Cat haters love Buzzy...and he spreads the love pretty evenly. Now, he and I have a special bond, and my boyfriend knows this... but Buzzy makes sure to spend some evenings just with him.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Agreed 100%

Maybe Samantha sensed something about her character early on too? I've found my pets to be very telling in who they do or do not warm up to. Every former friend I had when I was growing up, whom my dog did not like, ended up being someone who betrayed or wronged me in some major way later on. Our pets can be very smart and see things we may not notice right away!
I agree some but not all pets can be very good judges of character.
The cat I had before the Samantha, my beloved Meme who I still miss after almost 16 years, was an exceptional judge of character.

She adored my life long pal Lance who would care for her when I went out of town on business trips, but she didn't like Earline an old flame and would jump on the couch between us, facing me with her back to Earline.
I thought at the time it was just jealousy on Meme's part, but time showed her to be right as this person betrayed my trust.
We'd be well advised to listen to our small friends, some of them are very perceptive and not clouded by emotion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
711 Posts
My OH knows how much the girls mean to me. We adopted them together, so there isn't a jealousy issue there. I give the girls a LOT of attention, they sleep on our bed, follow me constantly... He does comment that "they love you more than me", but he doesn't really mind. He knows I'm very animal oriented, whilst he has a go-karting hobby! He can't be that jealous anyway, he's agreed that when we move house (over August) I (we!) can get a kitten once we're settled (he also agreed to a puppy... 3 cats and a dog! :D)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,720 Posts
First there was the baby and the SO was being a bigger baby than the infant about it. Then, there was the parrot, whom I formula fed since it fledged, and the significant other got jealous over her, too. Then, after we pondered divorced and he had moved out of the house for some time, I got the cats. When we thought about reconciling, he was already trying to set rules over who slept where, and where the cats were 'allowed' to go and other such nonsense....moral of the story: keep the animals, lose the stupid human.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
383 Posts
After learning a harsh lesson with my ex any future dates or boyfriends had to "pass the cat test". And here we are... married for 30 yrs and the servants to 6 majorly spoiled cats. During the last 30 years I've seen the hubby get up in the middle of the night to nurse bottlebabies, sleep in very uncomfortable positions so he wouldn't disturb the cat, and be a complaining kittyperch. Yep, I say he passed the cat test!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
142 Posts
I was 15 when I met my now hubby, and I think he figured out quickly that I was an animal person... he could drive so I immediately enlisted him to take me to and from the pet adoption events I volunteered at lol. I lived with my parents who had 7 dogs and 3 cats (plus the kitties we were fostering at the time). He knew how I was. I didnt agree with his families raising of animals and had to 'teach' him.

Well, about a year ago we decided we werent having any more kids (bad genes) so I wanted something else... so I went back to my roots and finally got some kitties. I went and got them, I pay for all vet care, food and toys and do all the the feeding and litterbox chores etc. Hubby claims he doesnt care either way as long as I take care of all that, but he enjoys loving on them, playing with them and having them sleep with us so I guess we call it a happy compromise for us.

I knew I'd have an animal home some day :) Of course I learned from the best -- my dad said 'no' to each and every one of the animals we had growing up and my mom just ignored him and he got over it cause he knew/knows it makes her happy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,968 Posts
When we thought about reconciling, he was already trying to set rules over who slept where, and where the cats were 'allowed' to go and other such nonsense....moral of the story: keep the animals, lose the stupid human.
Yeah, I don't get stuff like this. In my head it goes in the same category as "My wife said I could get a cat but it has to be declawed" or "The husband said the kids can have a kitten but it has to live outside."

Me not being with someone like that has NOTHING to do with the animal...but the attitude that person has in general. I'm not going to be with someone who places controls on everything I want/do. If I want to sleep on a bed with 3 cats then dammit you can either join us or sleep on the couch ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,276 Posts
Eric never gets jealous of them, but sometimes I do see him feeling a little neglected since I place so much importance on the cats at all times. When that happens I just give him a little extra loving.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
If I had a girl friend who's cat was indifferent to me I'd take up the challenge and win it's trust.
First off you have to show them you're not a threat to take away what's theirs, but another human to lavish them with love.
They you show them you mean what you say, provide them with treats and pets and praise, you'll soon win their heart and the girl's to.
When she see you put forth the effort to win her pets love she be yours.
Win win situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
188 Posts
I had a ex a few months back right after I got Boo who said I could keep the cat(talking about Boo not his kitten who he was determined to keep) if I had kids.Like I could!They'd be born half dead and I'd probably die in the process(really really bad genetics).He would also complain when I'd buy Boo and his cat good cat food and toys.Then there was the "Why do you take them to the vet you don't care about my health!" fight.Finally I dumped him when he said I wasn't trying to comprise about the "you can only keep your cat if you pop out a few very unhealthy babies and maybe die while your at it just to keep me happy".
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
My boyfriend is pre-emptively jealous of my cats. He hasn't even asked me out yet, too much pressure. ;)
What a dope, he could have gotten in your good graces by winning the trust of your kitties, your better off though sounds like he's insecure and needy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
188 Posts
Mine is the opposite lol

Well, I got my Danna because I thought she was going to die because she was so skinny poor baby. Anyways, I got her and I was kind frustrated because my husband did not want a cat but I am feminist so I don't care what he thought lol I do care but if I wanted a cat I wanted a cat. Well, he wasn't fond of getting a pet because we had never had a pet before. But when I brought her home she started to follow him more than me and he kept warming up to her. Well, fast forward to now he can't live without Danna. We can't go nowhere because he gets paranoid that Danna is by herself at home when we leave for a couple of hours. Ohh, he even makes songs for her and sings to her awwwwwwwwwwww I think I am jealous of Danna now lol...I love her and I am glad she is daddy's little girl!!!
 
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
Top