Oh no...I came on the website to try to find some healing after having my beautiful big Kona boy euthanized and I forgot I had used this photo. Here go the flood gates again. I have 3 cats...or I had 3 cats. Kona was health challenged when I got him. He had every congenital Siamese problem that there is. We had kept his chronic vomiting and pancreatitis in check for about 5 months, but last week, he got so terribly sick. I won't go into gory details. It was awful. It got to the point that he didn't even try to move. He just reached his neck over his tree and got sick. I couldn't listen to him screaming out anymore. He vocalized loudly when he was in pain. Beautiful Kona saw the vet more than once a month sometimes staying days at a time. His last series of shots and meds just didn't work anymore. I was able to get a little anti nausea into him and it lasted a few days, then he developed a fever. I remember the last time I tried to comfort him he was burning up with fever. I was petting his head and he felt so alive because of his high temperature. That is a hard description, but it's the last time I comforted him and he tried to purr. At the emergency room, they hydrated him and gave him an anti nausea shot and he seemed better in the morning, but he still had the fever and wouldn't eat. Around noon, they called to tell me that they could scope his intestines and he could have exploratory surgery to see what was going on, but he had been sick for so long, I couldn't stand the thought of him being in pain from surgery and pain from his disease. He had 3 X-rays and an ultrasound in 2 weeks. I authorized euthanizaring. Now I am second guessing myself and feeling guilty because if $3,000 would make him healed...I should have done it. I'm sorry to ramble on, but I'm just so sad. Kona was a beautiful cat with so many quirks, my husband and I said he will be the one we always remember because he was crosseyed, had nystagmus so his head was constantly moving like Stevie Wonder and he could barely see what was going on around him unless it was right under his nose. He liked to eat, but had no meat on his spine or hips...another Siamese problem I've forgotten the name of. He would curl up in pain and not want to move his back legs, he had a gait problem and looked like he was always crouching...and he was beautiful. I'm going to miss that great big challenged goof ball so much and I hope I did the right thing. The day after, I wanted to call screaming and tell them NO DON'T DO IT! I wish I had been there with him. That is my biggest regret. I just couldn't watch. If I can offer any advice from this, I would say to go see your cat one last time and comfort them. Kona was afraid of everyone but me and my husband and I wish I had gone in to comfort him one last time. I'm beating myself up and I know I need to stop. But I'm still so very very sad and feel so guilty. How long does this last?