Guests and your pets

..... If someone came into my house and chased one of my cats...even in 'fun'...they'd be out the door.

They live here, you DO NOT. They earn their right to be in my home, you DID NOT.

The person I always had trouble with was my ex husband. He was always offended that MOwMow hates him and always wanted to hunt out his hiding spot (I would never tell him where it was) so he could "force him to like me and show him I'm not going to hurt him." ... NO! If you can't respect his wishes then get out and don't come back. THere's no reason he has to like you and if you make him uncomfortable then he can hide until you leave... and if you keep pushing this topic you will be leaving sooner rather than later...

This is a touchy subject for me. I've even gotten on my mom's case a little bit. She in jest flicked water in MOwMOw's face one visit (she was washing dishes and he wanted to see what she was up too) and sent him running. A few hours later she was hanging around the kitchen while I was washing my hands and I flicked my wet hands and got her hair wet. She WIGGED (pun intended) on me and I pointed out that MowMOw must have felt similar. She's been *very* respectful since then.

OK. It's my guess that they do this in the mistaken belief that they are being friendly (except for the chasing upstairs) and showing that they like your animals (cats). It was a dog, but did any of you see that reporter when George Bush left office. A comlete stranger to Bush's dog, he thought it OK to bend over and grab the dog's neck. He was trying to be friendly; the dog took a chunk out of his finger. But he acted out of ignorance.

Is your brother appoachable. Can you chat with him about this and maybe come up with a solution. I would tell him that it's fine for the friends to pet the cats, but only if the cats permit this. What do you feel is a good way (if any) for them to greet your cats. My way with both dogs and cats is to let them smell the back of my hand, and then, with cats, if permittted, run those knuckles over the head and leave it at that. If the cat wants more it will give some sort of signal. With dogs it's best to let them also give a sign.

So that's what I think, these friends are acting out of ignorance, and that is the obstacle you need to overcome.

That's just not acceptable behavior. Are they drunk or something? Chasing/taunting a cat is something you learn not to do when you're about five years old. If someone was being nasty to my cat I'd tell them to cut it out... politely the first time. If they did it again I'd remind them the cat doesn't like it, that I don't want them doing that, and if they don't take that seriously, they can leave. Still nicely as possible, but painting a serious picture of things to come if they don't respect my pets.

I have a semi-similar problem with my aunt, she loves cats but Blacky does not like her and never has. My aunt doesn't really accept this and still tries to initiate contact with her, which makes my dad and me mad to no end. That Blacky will be sleeping and she'll walk in and want to pat her (probably a little too roughly!) when she knows Blacky is just going to leave when she gets closer... ugg. Basically, not much I can do, but we always tell my aunt to take a hike (nicely) when it looks like she's thinking about approaching Blacky. ("Don't, you'll make her run away..." )

Well at least I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who can't stand this kind of behavior! I wish I was able to just kick these people out (or prevent them from coming over all together) but they're my brother's guests.

Anyway, thankfully none of these people are drunk, but I likely will have to deal with THAT fun situation at some point. And the ridiculous thing is, the two worst offenders have several cats of their own at home. So at first I really assumed they would have some idea of how to approach them with respect and kindness but that's obviously not the case. I guess I should know better - I recently had to break off a friendship with someone after going to her house and seeing the way she treated her pets.

In any case I would love to just put them in a room when people come over, but I'm not always here to do so. I want to make sure this isn't happening when I'm out and haven't tucked the cats away somewhere safe (or god forbid I tuck them away, and someone slips in to 'visit' them where they can't even escape). Plus I feel it's spectacularly unfair to have to lock them up in their own house because other people are being idiots. I have intervened during any situation where I feel the cats are uncomfortable, but it's kind of exhausting to keep track of everything when there's a bunch of people over. This is how the chasing incident happened - I was watching one person trying to coax Moxie close enough to be pet (I was worried they were going to try to grab her again), when I heard someone swear and then take off running upstairs. I couldn't imagine what was happening until I went to investigate and found Sassy hiding under my bed.

I guess this is something I'm going to have to talk to my brother about - but I'm not sure how well it'll go over. Which is why I'm considering some sort of sign or something, to ensure anyone who comes over gets an idea of how they SHOULD be behaving, even when I'm not there to monitor it. Something along the lines of "Two shy kitties live here! To ensure you don't frighten them if they come to say hello PLEASE DO NOT chase them, grab them, or pick them up." Or I don't know, maybe that's stupid. I just know my brother isn't likely to stand up to someone during or after an incident, so I'd like to try to prevent them all together.

I think maybe if you make a sign, and include some humor in it, it will get the point across without seeming rude or overbearing.

Maybe a sign, saying what you posted, but then adding a picture underneath.

"This is what happened to the last person who didn't heed this advice:"

It never fails to amaze me how ignorant some people are. People do this with my dogs too. I have a 180 lbs. English mastiff. He is a friendly dog but some people he just does notlike. And yet complete strangers will walk right up to him without asking to pet him and get right in his face.

Sometimes he doesn't want his space invaded like that and I don't blame him. Then, if he barks people think he is vicious...lol. He is NOT, just trying to let people know he isn't in the mood.

Point is, some people to not understand animals or body language. My own husband is too rough with my kitten. I keep telling him to ease up (he pets her too hard or randomly picks her up wheb she doesn't want picked up). And he wonders why all the animals prefer me.

And some people just have no respect abd do not care. If I were you I would have a family meeting. Tell them that if they really love and respect you, they can follow these easy wishes you have of keeping EVERYONE in the house peaceful and happy. Good luck