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Ok, with all this wedding talk, I know I'm not the only one waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for my man to propose. This thread is for those of us in the same boat. This way, we can vent our frustrations without ranting on all the wedding boards.

I am definitely HAPPY for all the ladies (and gentlemen) getting married soon (or who have just recently married) and I don't want to spoil their fun.

Let's see...Brandon and I have been dating over 2 years now, we're both OUT of college, we both have great jobs (his is even better than mine) and the only thing stopping us from getting engaged? Him. That's right. He bought a car, put all his money as a down payment on it and he can't afford a ring. *sigh* I'm trying so hard to be patient, but it's driving me insane.

Also, he said he tried to get financing for the ring, but that he wasn't approved (uh huh). :wink:



HE PROPOSED TODAY!!! :)
 

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oooohhh...do i ever understand...i was in your boat and it got so bad that i would plead and cry etc etc and it never got anywhere untill one day i just got mad and walked off (not to leave him but just to cool off) and said i was tired of feeling like i was nothing more than a bed-buddy...he got the hint and asked me to marry him, even with no ring yet. but hey it was worth it.

may i also say tho that as much as we like to think things dont change....boy do they ever.
 

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My fiance got me a $200 ring for our engagement. We picked out the ring together.

He wanted to get me something that is $1000. I was like "why spend $1000 on something that can possibly be accidentially flushed down the toilet?" I had accidentially flushed down a bracelet before.

I think we should save money to buy a house. You can't flush a house down the toilet :lol:

Also, I know I am being very controversial here...but my fiance and I believed in we should be celibate before we get married. He was very eager to propose after three years of relationship. I wonder if celibate couples engage sooner than non-celibate couples.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
shengmei said:
My fiance got me a $200 ring for our engagement. We picked out the ring together.

He wanted to get me something that is $1000. I was like "why spend $1000 on something that can possibly be accidentially flushed down the toilet?" I had accidentially flushed down a bracelet before.

I think we should save money to buy a house. You can't flush a house down the toilet :lol:

Also, I know I am being very controversial here...but my fiance and I believed in we should be celibate before we get married. He was very eager to propose after three years of relationship. I wonder if celibate couples engage sooner than non-celibate couples.
In some cases that might be true, but I don't think it's true in all cases. See, the issue isn't that he doesn't want to, it's that he (says he) can't afford the ring right now. I know we'll get engaged when he's got it all figured out, so it's a waiting game now.

We're not celibate (I sure hope my mother doesn't read this 8O)but we also don't live together. But in all honesty, it doesn't matter what other people think you should or shouldn't do; what matters is that you are comfortable with your choice. :)
 

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I am married but I fondly remember our pre-engagement period! :D

My then-boyfriend got a job and settled into a new place (a long-term housesitting arrangement). We had agreed that I would look for a job near to him. After I found my job, I asked if I could stay at his place while I looked for my own apartment.

I was there for about two months before I moved into an apartment with my girlfriend about 1/2 hour away. He was crushed! He honestly didn't believe that I would actually move! 8O

It cost more money for me to get my own place, but for me it was important to be independent and a bit less available to him. I think he got a bit spoiled having my constant companionship as well as someone to cook and share the chores! :lol:

I only ended up living in the apt. for 6 months because he proposed. Then I was willing to move back in with him!! :lol: :lol:
 

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shengmei said:
Also, I know I am being very controversial here...but my fiance and I believed in we should be celibate before we get married. He was very eager to propose after three years of relationship. I wonder if celibate couples engage sooner than non-celibate couples.
that's an interesting observation...my husband and I were celebate before we got married...and he preposed quickly....7 months after we met...and we only were engaged 2 months. So yes, that's a total of 9 months from when we met to our wedding.
4 years later it's still going strong :D
 

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I moved in with my husband the very day we got together, one week after we started hanging out and three months after we met at my parents' business. Very not celibate. :lol: So, got together in August, got engaged in November. I kept my own apartment until January 1 before truly moving in together, but I never really went home after that first day. We married the following August, and tomorrow is our fourth anniversary.

We moved WAY too fast, and I have some regrets, but not enough to outweigh the good that has come from my life with him. Still wish I would have taken a little longer, though.
 

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Here is another little secret about myself....

I have been married 3 times...Yup....George is my 3rd husband.
My forever husband...if something happens,
I will stay alone and raise my kids.

I dunno.....men always asked me to marry them.
I always have wondered if it is because I was never holding out
for marriage. So then they keep asking?
 

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I am living with just a promise ring he gave me when I was still at school in the UK and he was over here. Two years of living together and no ring :cry:

According to him its my own fault that we aren't engaged because the one time he took me to look for rings I didn't like any of them. You know when he dragged me through the shop in the 10 mins I had to spare in my lunch break!

It seems every time we actually talk about it, something happens that takes over our whole lives and its put on the back burner again.
 

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David and I officially moved in together 6 months after meeting. Though, from the moment we met face to face we hardly spent any time apart. He purposed on our 1 year anniversary. He waited that long just because of him moving from California to Texas, and us starting a life together in Dallas and all those expenses. Then we got married 3 years later. So, we lived together 3.5 years before getting married. So, yeah, ummm, not celibate. But the only reason we didn't get married or engaged sooner was more money reasons instead of anything else...Now we recently had our 2 year wedding anniversary (6 years together in total) and we're still going strong.
 

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I got my ring after 4 years of being together but we both knew it was the right time. We lived together after dating for 2 months so the first couple years was rough emotionally and financially.

I can't complain, I have a friend who shares children with her boyfriend, they have been together for almost 10 years and he is still married to another woman. Same with my other friend who lives with her boyfriend and raises his kids as well as hers and he is still married years later.

All they want is a divorse from the ex let alone an engagement ring!! 8O
 

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Discussion Starter #12
SammyO said:
I got my ring after 4 years of being together but we both knew it was the right time. We lived together after dating for 2 months so the first couple years was rough emotionally and financially.

I can't complain, I have a friend who shares children with her boyfriend, they have been together for almost 10 years and he is still married to another woman. Same with my other friend who lives with her boyfriend and raises his kids as well as hers and he is still married years later.

All they want is a divorse from the ex let alone an engagement ring!! 8O
Why should the men divorce their wives? I mean, the way they see it, they got a good thing going! :( It's terrible that your friends are in the situations that they are in, but if the man isn't going to change after that long, then why would he now? Also, if he cheated on his first wife, how do they know he won't cheat on them if they DO get married?

Some men should just be shaken.
 

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I can sympathize with the long wait. Eric and I were together for 5.5 years before becoming engaged. When making a decision, he REALLY thinks about it. LOL

I was ready (or so I thought) three years ago. Now I'm happy that we waited because we are at a better place in our lives to be planning a wedding and a life together. Of course, you wouldn't have been able to tell me this and have me listen a few years ago.

And, on the celibacy thing... We moved in together after 4 years of dating. All of our friends had graduated, moved, and gotten married. It saved money, and we wanted to. We did keep separate bedrooms (not because we were celibate but because we are that insane about personal space - and we didn't want to fully "play married"). About 8 months after we moved in together, we returned to the ways of the church and decided to return to celibacy until marriage. In my opinion... it doesn't speed up the engagement. It is a sacrifice, but I don't think that it will make any man commit to marriage faster. At least, it didn't with Eric, and I'm glad because then the sacrifice wouldn't have been as important to us. JMHO.

Good luck to those girls waiting for their turn! It was only 5 short months ago that I was joining in on these threads from the other side. I really hope it comes soon for each of you. :)
 

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oh man. dated him for 4 years, lived with him for one. ALWAYS talked marriage, but then all of a sudden commitment issues surface, then money issues, then debates of weather or not i'd be a good mother... things got really BAD. i don't want to talk about it.

So finally after we broke up, he proposes. tough to say no, but i did :(
 

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pfff lemmie get a comfy seat on this sofa of wanting to get the ring but no such luck.

My bf and I talked about it before I even moved in with him.
Here I am nearly 4 years later writing (well typing) in this thread.
He is still actually married, and thats whats causing the proble, and makes me very frustrated.
He is legally seperated, which means the splitting of things etc is all legally sorted out. So a divorce should be a toddle.
Its gonna cost about £300...
The way things are going I can see that if I ever want to flippin marry him I am gonna have to pay for his divorce.
Every month comes, he pays EVERY bill in the house, I earn such a pathetic wage that by the time Ive paid to feed the animals for the month I get a little to myself. There is just no money at the end of the month, but then he doesnt even try to save either, spends it on tool and stuff which he has HUNDREDS of. We have a nice garage, big enough to get a cat in. You can even get in the doorway without climbing over stuff because it is soo full of his tools. He uses them which is fine, but it irks me.
Its my birthday next month, he asked me what I wanted (Because this is the ever lasting question because I dont know!)
I said a wedding ring (lol) he said I cant I need to get a divorce first... well duh thats what im trying to say.

ARRGH!
cooooor that was a nice vent.... rofl
so we will see I guess. I have to pay my credit card off for the new hoover I bought, then next month my pay is mine so maybe I can put some away.
 

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emrldsky said:
Why should the men divorce their wives? I mean, the way they see it, they got a good thing going! :( It's terrible that your friends are in the situations that they are in, but if the man isn't going to change after that long, then why would he now? Also, if he cheated on his first wife, how do they know he won't cheat on them if they DO get married?Some men should just be shaken.
Well "Husband A" had a crazy wife who was the cheater and she promised a divorse many times but kept changing the terms so I think he gave up because it was costing him a fortune. She is now living with another man and has kids with him.

"Husband B" - his wife left him for another man and left him with 2 newborn twins that she gave up rights too. She is now having kids with this other man.

They aren't bad guys and they absolutely HATE their wives but I think they gave up getting a divorse because of the run around.

Now both of my friends walked into these situations full well knowing what was going on. Can you really pity them? I don't. My husband and I joke that the men are putting the divorse off so they won't be expected to propose and get engaged again! Ya never know...
 

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Discussion Starter #18
:) I don't pity the women TOO much, but it was the men's responsibility to be completely honest (i.e., they should have told the women that a divorce might not happen). Although, if they didn't know it would be an issue, I can certainly see where all are victims of the wives.
 

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emrldsky said:
SammyO said:
I got my ring after 4 years of being together but we both knew it was the right time. We lived together after dating for 2 months so the first couple years was rough emotionally and financially.

I can't complain, I have a friend who shares children with her boyfriend, they have been together for almost 10 years and he is still married to another woman. Same with my other friend who lives with her boyfriend and raises his kids as well as hers and he is still married years later.

All they want is a divorse from the ex let alone an engagement ring!! 8O
Why should the men divorce their wives? I mean, the way they see it, they got a good thing going! :( It's terrible that your friends are in the situations that they are in, but if the man isn't going to change after that long, then why would he now? Also, if he cheated on his first wife, how do they know he won't cheat on them if they DO get married?

Some men should just be shaken.
The men sound like my father. I can't really condemn him because he is my father, but I really wish he had done things differently.
 

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JoeyM said:
shengmei said:
My fiance got me a $200 ring for our engagement. We picked out the ring together.
Now there's an idea i like!
It is a beautiful ring, too!!! It has synthetic cyrian sapphire in the center and two white sapphires on the sides. It comes with a lifetime warranty and it is set in 10K white gold.

Why buy a natural stone with imperfections is it means $$$? A synthetic stone is perfect. It is chemically identical to the real thing. Even professional jewelers cannot tell the difference....they can only tell the stone is synthetic by its lack of flaws.
 
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