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Hello and please help

Four months ago, my longtime bf and I adopted a seven-month-old kitty. At first, she was smitten with my bf. She followed him throughout the house, always sat on his lap and her favorite spots were anywhere he usually sits. She primarily was his cat. Two months ago, something changed. She grew closer to me and became much less affectionate towards him. Going so far as to start hissing at him whenever he came too close and biting and scratching him drawing blood. We have been very perplexed by this as he is her sole feeder and she will still curl up and cuddle with him when he lies down on the couch for a nap.

Now we, have adopted another, slightly younger kitty. She has a much more affable manner and now he has become fed up with the first cat's behavior and has decided she needs to be "rehomed".

We've taken quite a few suggestions, but nothing seems to curb her desire to be aggressive towards him. After sinking her teeth in him recently, he has given me a week to find a new home for her.

HELP! This is breaking my heart.
 

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Welcome!

This is heartbreaking. Well, this is a long-shot, but is your bf in contact with any other animals at work or away from the house that the cat can smell? Did he change his cologne or aftershave? How strange that she'll still snuggle with him, yet she bit him. :(

Hopefully you'll get some good advice or some suggestions.
 

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Re: Heartbreaking Behavior

No that has been covered. He works from home and rarely, if ever, wears cologne. He hasn't been in contact with other animals. In fact, this is his first pet.

I've had several cats before and some have been some have been some real characters. Usually things start off bad and get better or start off bad and stay that way, but never start off this well and go south so quickly.

Thx for replying.
 

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Your situation is remarkably similar to the episodes of "My Cat From H3ll" shown yesterday Jan 7th on Animal Planet .
http://animal.discovery.com/tv/my-cat-from-****/
Quite often the hero of the show Jackson Galaxy saves the day by having the pet's owner provide a way to get off the floor and as he likes to say "own his space".
The owners adds some shelving and a cat tree, monster cat turns into a love muffin and the show ends with them thanking Jackson with saving their marriage and kitty's life.
Hope you can find a solution, rehoming a aggressive cat is difficult and taking him to a shelter is a probable death sentence.
 

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It may be a mystery as to why her behaviour changed, but there IS a reason. Is is possible he accidentally did something to hurt or scare her (ie lock her in a room?) Talk to your vet to see if there's something you can do. Please don't give up on her, she needs someone to love her.
 

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I would probably end up rehoming her in those circumstances, but not before I'd worked with a Cat Behaviorist and tried to find a way that the bf and the cat ignore each other rather than the cat attacking him.

I can totally understand your bf, that's why I don't keep one, I don't like being issued ultimatums and I react badly to it. :)
 

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Take the cat to the vet. Thorough exam. I wonder if the cat is in pain and is associating the BF with pain.

If the cat is fine, have your BF ingore the cat. Nothing threatening. Have him keep treats and a toy next to him. Have him reward the aggressive cat for good behavior towards him (cuddle time, etc.). DO NOT react to bad behavior. Reaction only reinforces the bad behavior. What you want to do is ingore the bad behavior and reward the good behavior.

In what situations is the cat being agggressive? How is the BF holding the cat? How is he approaching the cat? How is he talking to the cat? What is his mind set towards the cat? Cats can pick up and react to energy. They can even react towards negative attitudes. What your BF needs to do is have a nonthreatening (not in human terms, but in cat terms) energy.

Also, I agree on the points where you need to get the cat higher up. Cat walks, shelves, etc. Even access to a tall book case would help. This allows the cat to observe their surroundings from a "safe" place. Why do you think so many cats go in trees?
 

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OMG! That is really heartbreaking. I would do anything necessary so the kitty would be able to stay. Try to analyze her behavior, and try to remember to point when her behavior to your bf changed. I would recommend to take her to the vet as well and see the cat behaviorist.

At least, if the cat and bf learned to ignore each other…it could work like that as well. I think when he will let her alone and not approach her, he will save himself some scratches and she will not get so irritate. And maybe with time, she will develop a compassion towards him again!

To worst thing he can do is the react irritated towards her behavior even if she misbehaves. He should not punish her when she hisses or scratches him. That could irritate her even more!
 

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Have you had your boyfriend fixed? That might help.

:grin:
 

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Your bf should not be hard staring at the cat. It would be good if he could blink his eyes slowly when he looks at the cat. I know it sounds strange, but slow blinking is a sign to a cat that you are cool and relaxed and not aggressive. A hard stare at the cat's eyes would be interpreted as aggression by your bf. Good luck!
 

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It sounds to me like your bf did something to injure or frighten the cat, whether he's aware of it or not. The fact that the cat still wants to cuddle with him when he's asleep implies that her fear of him is only triggered by his activity and movement. That would be congruent with an injury or fright that she associates with his wakened state.

Your boyfriend should not be approaching this cat AT ALL. Instead, he should be very passive, quiet, and as motionless as possible while speaking softly to the cat and reassuring her that he will make no moves toward her. She obviously still wants to be near him, but for whatever reason, she doesn't trust him. He needs to re-earn her trust by allowing her to initiate all physical contact and keeping everything very soft and low key in his interactions with her.

She's doing what scared animals do; she's protecting herself, and she'll continue to protect herself until she feels safe with him again. It may take time, but it's time that your bf should be willing to invest in any loving relationship. If he's not willing, well, I'll leave that up to you to assess.

Laurie
 

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What a brilliant post. One of the best I ever read on the internet.
 
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