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Before I get to my question, I want to give you some background info.

A year and a half ago we lost a cat we loved dearly, named Blue. She was the most amazing cat. She was my little boy's best friend and playmate, and my elderly cat loved her too. She would hang out with my little boy most of the day, watching him play with toys, playing with him, cuddling with him. She was very loving. However, she continually escaped outside without my permission, I am an indoor policy cat owner. We lost her due to a neighbor trapping her and dropping her off somewhere, she died trying to make her way back home. We have been heartbroken ever since. We moved away from there last December.

We moved here 10 mths. ago. We still have 14.5 yr old Kitty, who we have had since she was a baby, who stays in our bedroom since we moved here. She has always preferred to spend most of her time in my bedroom wherever we have lived, but really doesn't like the rest of the house here. She probably would have eventually got used to the rest of the house but we decided to rescue a cat about three months ago.

Snowy was left outside an apartment building. A relative of my husband moved and left the cat behind. The relatives talked about what a great cat he was. Told us stories about the cat, and it sounded like our beloved Blue that died a year and a half ago. My little boy has been so sad about losing Blue, and begged us to let him have Snowy. So we met the cat, felt sorry for it because it was just skin and bones, obviously being neglected. We decided to bring him home. He is an ordinary looking Gray tabby, wouldn't be adopted if we took him to the pound, so we took him in.

We think Snowy is nice and all, but he is no Blue. We haven't experienced anything like the stories they told us about him. He doesn't want much to do with us most of the time. He tries to attack us sometimes out of the blue when we are petting him. We are cat lovers and love to give our cats attention. My little boy is 7 and is very gentle with animals. Snowy just decides he's been petted enough and bites us, hard, not a love bite. My little boy cries sometimes from the pain, but also because he is still heartbroken, and Snowy doesn't like affection very much, and doesn't want to play with him. He doesn't want to be petted or cuddled. Doesn't come up to us very much. He is pretty independent. I don't think he grew up with getting petted by humans much. He doesn't try to go outside, which is nice, but he is keeping us awake at night and my husband is about to lose it. He doesn't really even like cats. It is me and the kids that like cats.

So this is the problem. Kitty won't have anything to do with Snowy. She gets really upset when he comes into our room, I am letting him in during the day to get them more used to each other, but she just hisses and growls at him. He doesn't hiss or growl at her anymore when he is in the room, but he will hiss from under the door at her in the middle of the night. He will stick his paws under the door and they fight that way.

He has been here over three months. Snowy has taken to crying at the bedroom door to get into my bedroom in the middle of the night. I thought he wanted me, so I have been sleeping in another room with the door open so he can come in and hang out with me. That wasn't it. He still cries at the closed door to my bedroom in the middle of the night. He just wants in to my room because the door is closed I think. He might want to get in to be with Kitty. She does not want anything to do with him. Kitty is old and has a lot of anxiety already, so I don't want to force him on Kitty. He has his food and water out all day in the bathroom, so he is not asking to be fed.

Please help with practical suggestions! He is driving us crazy!

I have tried spraying him with water, which he hates, after only getting sprayed two times he now knows to run when he hears me coming. If I am outside the room and he starts crying at the door, I try to get to him to spray him, but I can't get close to him to spray him! He runs away from the door as soon as I approach. Just now, I am in the other bedroom and he started crying at my bedroom door, (which only Kitty is in my bedroom right now). I got up from the computer with the spray bottle, as soon as I stepped into the hallway he ran away down the hall. Last night I slept in the same room, everytime he started crying, I got up and walked to the hallway to get him, and he ran away. I walked around the house a couple of times to grab him and put him in the bathroom, but he just ran away from me. I finally got him, put him in the bathroom and he started crying. The bathroom is right by my bedroom door, so it was still keeping my husband up. We are at our wits end! My husband is threatening to get rid of the cat, but no one is going to adopt him! I like the cat, I just don't love it. It is hard to love a cat who isn't affectionate. He is driving us crazy! Help!
 

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Not sure how much practical help I can offer. I assume you tried the standard introduction techniques, keeping Snowy separated in a different room for a week or two until they get more used to each other's smell?

My wife and I found a cat with a horrible abuse story, so we were happy to bring her from the shelter to home. She too is lovable, but on her own terms. If she wants to be petted, she'll come snuggle, but otherwise she's pretty independent. She's also not shy about biting when irritated.

Eventually we wanted to get another cat as a companion for when we're away. The new cat wanted to be friends, but the 'queen' wasn't having it. It's been two years or more now and the two cats have never snuggled or licked each other once, though they will hang out in the same room and if pressed even share the same patch of sunlight. They do roughhouse on very rare occasions but it usually ends with the dominant cat getting mad and play becomes fight. The new cat would still be friends, but seems resigned to the fact that it may never happen.

I'd suggest leaving the door open and just see what happens. They may just end up occupying two different parts of the bed, like ours do, once they adjust.

I can't say for sure whether it's better for you to keep the car or not. If it is too upsetting to your child to keep the cat and try to work through the issues, please make sure you take it to a no-kill shelter where it will be looked after and have a better chance.
 
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