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Discussion Starter #1
Hi
I have had cats for 13 years now, and never had a problem until we got our most recent kitten. We have tried everything to get our 2 year old female cat socialized with the 4 month old kitten (we brought him home at 6 weeks old, so its been months now). I have come here to post the story and ask for all the advice I can get. I really need help, its to the point where the thought of finding a home for the two year old has popped into my head, and I feel just horrible.
thanks - and glad to meet everyone - u are my last resort and im praying someone will have the answer.
 

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Welcome!

I would start the introduction over following these guidelines:

Cat-to-Cat Introductions | Little Big Cat

And I can already tell you what 99% of our members will say: Not fair to rehome the 2 year old. The kitten will be much easier to find a new place for. If things don't work out, it should be the new cat to go. I've been there myself and it was heartbreaking, but there's no way I would part with the cats who have been part of my life for the longest.

Good luck!
 

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It can take MONTHS to socialize cats. Think about if your parents got married and forced you to be friends with your step siblings. It takes time, so I just think you need to be a little patient. I certainly would not get ride of the 2 year old cat though, she should definitely be your priority because you've had her the longest, and YOU are the one bringing someone new into her domain. Finding her a new home would most likey be very detrimental and hurtful to her (think again of the step sibling scenario - how would you feel if your Mom dumped you for her new hubbie's kids?). :(
 

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I wish my Mom had rehomed my brothers. :grin:
 

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Wishfulthinking, you've gotten some good advice so far; I'm jumping on the 'you really shouldn't rehome the pre-existing cat' boat. That just plain isn't fair!

To offer more advice, and better suggestions, we need to know what is going on. Bad intros can range from some hissing and growling from across the room, avoiding each other, right through to attacks with blood. We need to know what sort of interactions your two are currently having before we can help you deal with the issues.

I will add though that for myself I've been exactly where you are. When I brought Doran in he was a teeny baby (10 days) and Jitzu, one of my older girls, hated him in her home so much she literally hissed herself hoarse! I didn't even let them interact until Doran was more like 12 weeks old, big enough to run away and hide if he needed too, and it took until he was a year old for Jitzu to truly accept him. And now they're best buddies and completely love each other! If I hadn't given Jitzu the time and space she needed I never would have gotten to see this heart-melting sight:

(I wanted to add that the way they end up like this is Jitzu will come up to Doran while he's lounging and he'll lift his paw for her to cuddle in next to him...most adorable thing EVER! lol)



It took until Doran was 2 and had settled down for that to happen, now it's a daily occurrence and if I separate them Jitzu cries!

Sure, not all bad starts end up that way, and I was able to bring in another kitten (Muffin) for Doran to play with so Jitzu wasn't the target of his kitten enthusiasm, but it still does happen.

So, give us a bit more in depth info on your two, share some pictures, and get ready to work for a great relationship between your two. There is hope! :)
 

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It takes time for cats to trust each other.

It's been months in the same home and my two cats are not the best of friends yet. They knew each other for a couple of years but never really stayed in the same home for more than a few weeks until recently. The hissing part is mostly to let the other cat know where the boundaries are, some sort of preemptive action.

They now can somewhat play chasing each other and usually wind up with a fight, and me screaming at the older one because he is much stronger than her. Although the younger one usually starts the whole thing. If it's really bad I put a little time out in separate rooms (maybe 5-10 mins). I trim my male cat nails because he's twice her size. I let hers grow so she can fight back. Sometime I found he has scars across his nose. Poor boy. LOL.

I always feed my older cat first, and the second one after him. At least now I see him licks her head when she steals a lick off his plate, lol.

I bond with the older one as usual (just like before the second cat). Before bed time I usually snuggle with the younger one so she doesn't feel left out. Good thing she is very independent. :) I hope one day they can be better company for each other. We'll see.
 

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I remember when my friend got her second cat, Sparky, the older one, Malt, wasn't to happy with him. She wouldn't go upstairs into the room where Sparky was kept for almost 7 months. It look them about 3 years to become best friends.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thank you for posting a positive repose

Thank u to Nola and library for posting something positive to me. I have been devastated by some of the post and no way to respond unless I my account was active.
My 2 year old cat has special needs, she has a genetic disability that I have not been able to find a story online about it yet. I'm looking for other cat owners who have experienced her condition. Forget that I posted I got a kitten in my intro, even the vet agrees this is to do with her condition (her name is Sophie) and not the kitten or my cat family which totals 5.

There is a very long story (too long for a poor 2 year old Sophie) and I will eventually post it and hopefully someone will help. She is not in any way and typical cat and I want nothing more than to provide her with a happy and long life. Unfortunalty, she needs to be in a quiet and dim environment to be her loving self.
I'm hoping to post part of her story tomorrow. Right now I'm just to upset.... A post earlier in the day I could not respond to made me cry.

I can't have children and my parents divorced when I was 5. When I was 10, my father told me he couldn't have me come live with him because there was no room in his new house with his new family . To make a reference that I was treating my 2 year old cat like this is insane. I only posted a quick note about my situation in order to get approved be the forum. It really hurt ... I want help with my situation, not to be judged before the story is told. My cats r my life.

Sophie, my 2 year old, deserves to be happy for the remainder of her life. I want to make sure she is happy, with or without me. Please help and do not judge. I type this with tears falling on the floor .
 

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Hi... One of the disadvantages of communication via virtual forum like this is that things can get easily misunderstood and emotions can't be truly translated into words. It is different from face to face where people can see the expression, body language, know the persons background etc. We are all strangers here who came to this forum because of one singular thing, the love for our cats. It's something that for me personally difficult to find in real life. I even think that a lot of my real friends are actually sick of me talking about my cats, looking for cats info, posting pics of cats on FB, etc. but they are so polite about it even though most of them are not cat people. They don't understand why on most days I would rather spend my time alone with my cats than hanging out with real people. l can assure you members of this forum really meant well, especially for the cat's wellbeing. So despite the wrong first impression, please don't take it the wrong way :). You came to the right place.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 

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When people use other life situations as examples, it's in absolutely no way intended to hurt, only to try to express themselves in another way. The fact that it mirrored your own life in some way was a horrible coincidence, and no harm was intended at all. I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt, our members only want the best for you and all your cats. :patback

If you post more details - like things you've tried and exactly what hasn't worked out - I'm sure someone here will have more specific advice for you. We've pretty much been through it all.
 

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Wishfulthinking - My post certainly wasn't meant to be hurtful, I was just trying to give an analogy that most people could relate to. Obviously, I had no way of knowing your personal situation, I was basing my comment solely on the information in your post. I'm really sorry if that hurt you! I have fostered kittens for years, but also have my own 2 cats. If at any point, I think my cats' wellbeing/health is at risk because of the kittens, or they were exhibiting negative behavoirs, I will find new foster homes for the kittens, because for me, my cats are my priority. I don't have kids either, and my cats are like my children, so I do take their wellbeing very seriously. That said, it can take quite a long time for cats to acclimate to one another. I always keep my fosters in a separate room than my own cats to start with, and gradually introduce them. There have been some kittens who have never gotten along with my cats (who ended up getting adopted anyhow), and others who get along with them immediately. It all just depends on the personality of the cats, just like people.

What all have you tried with Sophie and your new kitten? Have you tried keeping them sepearate? I usually have a "safe room" for each cat that is off-limits to the other (i.e., my fosters are not allowed in my bedroom, since that's where my cats sleep). I find that using baby gates to keep them seperated, but so they can still see/smell each other is effective too. And I like to feed them on either side of the gate so they associate something positive with each other, and gradually go from there. It just takes a lot of time and patience.
 
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