It's been a while since I joined and posted!
Otis ans Maui still do not get along.
Maui seems to think the entire house and all its contents belong to her.
I am having a really hard time with this, as Otis has become a recluse in his own home. Everyone I talk to tells me to give it time- how much time is needed to know if they will ever get along? I was really hoping for Maui to be a buddy for Otis.
I am starting to think I made a mistake by adopting Maui at the time I did. I was pre-grieving for Rocky, and Otis had no idea what was happening. I think I should have waited until after Rocky was gone (knew it was coming), and let Otis get on with life "solo" for a while. I guess I thought I would be doing Otis a favor by giving him a new pal, but I think I went about it all wrong.
To show how stupid I am, I went and adopted (trial from a foster) ANOTHER cat last week. Introductions with him went much, much smoother, but Maui is still a bully. Otis seems interested in the new cat, but still leary.
I am coming to realize that I have been trying to ease my lonliness with new cats! This is so unfair to all of us. I think I need to finish grieving for Rocky, and Otis needs to adjust also. The new kittehs deserve better than I can give them right now, as they are not "Rocky", and as I try to make sure Otis is ok, they get the short end of the stick.
I feel like such a horrible person.
I know I can call the foster of the new cat and she will take him back, but I feel so badly about it. He is a wonderful cat and I am sure would have been a pretty good match for Otis.
Maui came from the Humane Society and I just can not stand the thought of her going back into a wire cage.
I have spent most of the afternoon crying out my grief. I know it would be the best for me to let the new cats have a chance at a great forever home, and I feel badly for uprooting them so. I feel bad for Otis who has lost his buddy, and also his favorite sleeping places (to the other cats).
I feel so guilty for all of this.
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I imagine a large part of the problem is that you're having a hard time dealing with the loss of Rocky, which is understandable. No doubt another issue is the problem between Otis and Maui. Trying to introduce two cats who seem not to want to get along can be very stressful. As for how long it might take...it took me three months to introduce my girls, during which time they were separated by screened doors (Abby was locked up in my dining room and I put temporary screens up). It has taken others longer, although if you do a proper introduction and you aren't able to leave them together after 4 or 5 months, then chances are you have two cats who likely won't/can't get along.
I can't advise you on what to do, since that's a decision only you can make. As for re-homing Maui...if you decide that's what you want to do, you might see if you can act as Maui's foster until a new home has been found for her, so she won't have to go back to a cage. Just a thought.
You had a lovely Springer, I'm sorry for your loss. Losing any pet is really tough, and Springers from what I've seen of them have great temperaments. I sincerely hope you're able to find the time to introduce these kitties properly (there's lots to read around here about how to introduce cats, they don't get along like best buddies right away and often need a slow consistent approach to learn to get along) ... if you really don't think they're ever going to get along and have tried everything... well, I'd try to find another owner myself, like from Craigslist or eBay Classifieds (aka: Kijiji if you're located in Canada), instead of surrendering them to a shelter.
Thanks for the responses.
I have been doing a lot of reading re: introductions, behavior issues, techniques. Anything having to do with noises just makes Otis more jumpy, Maui doesn't seem to care.
I think a good part of the problem is me. Maui is a cool little cat, but for some reason I just haven't fallen in love with her. I don't know if that is because she's not a good pal for Otis so I got bummed out, or if I just wasn't ready for a new cat.
My emotions are all screwed up and I feel like such a kitty failure.
Susan- great idea about seeing if I could foster for Maui instead of turning her in to the shelter.
I'm going to do more thinking, sleeping, crying, and praying.