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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Roxi normally follows me everywhere and cries if I close a door behind me without letting her in. When I do let her into the bathroom she waits right outside the shower door for me crying. If I leave the house even for 20 minutes or so when I return she's in the window waiting for me.

She rubs against me constantly. I let her up on the big computer desk in my man cave and she has to lay down in front of the keyboard as I work. I was able to teach her not to walk on the keyboard and to lay down on command so I can see the monitor. Most times she loves to be petted and especially loves to be brushed. Sometimes she will be doing her normal rubbing my arms while pacing back and forth across the desk. Sometimes when she does that she drops her haunches as if she doesn't want any attention. She STILL doesn't like to be picked up or held. I've tried every trick in the book with no luck. She absolutely MUST sleep in the bed with me right next to my head or cuddled into my armpit/body.

She is a stray rescue that lived in the Sonoran desert for an unknown amount of time. Vet guessed she was 6 months old at the time we got her. Skin and bones and tiny for her age. She's now fat, big and happy. I'm guessing she was either born feral or to an unwanted litter and dumped in the desert to die. I doubt she was ever held or shown any affection as a kitten. I know cats sometimes DON'T want to be petted but her NO PET times are predictable based on the dropped haunches. I just leave her alone then and allow her to continue to rub on me as much as she wants. That's not the main problem though. That fact that she can't be picked up or held without (my) bloodshed drives me nuts. I've tried treats to no avail. Maybe she was "ruined" by her very early days of no or bad attention. I hope I can somehow bring her around to being held or just laying on me like a lap cat. Then our bond would be complete. I'm just not sure how to gain 100% of her trust.

Roxi is only my 3rd cat so I'm still basically a newbie. She's truly something special with her intelligence and playfulness. She has tons of toys and it's a blast playing with her. Watching her play with everything from crumpled paper towels to tennis balls makes me laugh to the point of tears. I just hope I can one day have her let me hold her for more than 10 seconds without losing blood from her trying to get away. I hope this can be addressed and isn't permanent. ANY help appreciated!

Joe
 

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My boy, Lucky hates to be held. He will scratch my arms to get away. He doesn't usually draw blood unless my dad walks by. LOL. He was born and raised around people. He loves to be petted. My girl, Marie is not very affectionate. She likes to rub on my legs but does NOT like to be petted or held. She was also born and raised around loving people. I think that it's just Roxy's personality. Roxy was not born feral. If she were, you couldn't have even caught her in the desert.
 

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The first 3 months of a kitten's life is when they learn their social skills with both people and other animals---to control their bite and claws, to read body language/sounds. As a former breeder of show cats it was important that kittens be picked up and handled gently from the time they are born. The get used to being handled. It's possible she was picked up as a kitten and was hurt or it was an unpleasant experience for her. Some cats are genetically predisposed to be friendly and like to sit on laps and being picked up. It was important as a breeder that the stud cat and queen had an outgoing personality and enjoined being handled. One that can't be, hisses at the judges and bites, doesn't go far in winning ribbons and gaining titles at a cat show. It sounds likely that Roxi never got the type of handling she should have as a kitten, and her habits are pretty "fixed" now. It could be genetic. You can keep trying to encourage her to come to your lap for treats, and stroke her very gently while eating. When you do have to pick her up to put in a carrier to take to the vet. Throw a large thickish beach towel over her to scoop her up, and gently drop her in a carrier that's on end leaving the towel over her.. One day, she may surprise you and let you pick her up. Just love and cherish her; she does sound like a real sweetheart that loves her papa.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks guys. I hope she is not a lost cause for the lap sitting. She gets in my lap now and then for very short periods but that is of her own desire. She loves treats but even they won't coax her to my lap. It's weird because she is at times too affectionate and demanding of my attention. So strange that she won't sit in my lap. She's a 99 point kitty. Some lap time would make her 100 point for sure. I'll keep trying with baby steps and hope for the best. If it's just not going to happen I'll deal with it. I'm not going to push her too hard.

Joe
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
OMG! Roxi is sleeping on the desk in front of my keyboard and has been asleep for at least 15 minutes so I know she's in deep sleep as her limbs are twitching.. I started saying Good Girl Roxi and each time I did her tail curled up at the end and she never opened her eyes. I always tell her "good Girl" at every opportunity and give her a thumbs up and sometimes treats. She always reacts to just a thumbs up (even without vocal cues) with her tail popping straight in the air and a curl at the top. Her coat is so luxurious I really wish she was a lap sitter do I could pet her for hours.

Joe
 

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Good news! Roxi may come around, baby steps at a time. Let her set the schedule and just keep loving on her. Yes, saying "Good Girl" is good....my two Devons respond well when they get "Good Boy". They definitely know the difference between "good" and "bad". :)
 
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