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I need your help. My mother passed away Monday. It was a sudden shock to me and my brother but we can understand it. However poor Sadie doesn't quite know what is going on. I scared the heck out of her when I got the news. She tried her best to comfort me with head butts and rubbing against me when I received the call but when that didn't work she swatted me twice and ran and hid. My mother had lived with me and Sadie right up until she went into the hospital Saturday night. Now Sadie has definitely picked me as her human but she spent all day with my mom when I was at work. Sat and Sunday night Sadie was looking for my mom, going to her bedroom door and looking on her bed but she was relatively calm about it. Monday night however she was very restless and crying for her. She has been climbing up on my lap a lot too and before this she wasn't really a laptop cuddler. My question is how do I help her after I go back to work? I feel bad about her being alone in my apartment when before this she wasn't. Luckily I get an hour lunch and I don't work that far from home so I have been thinking about coming home at lunch to spend sometime with her then. Any other suggestion on how to help her would be more than welcome.
 

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I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. This is really tragic for you and for Sadie. There is not much you can do to replace your mom's presence all day. Definitely come home during the day. Maybe a kindly neighbor that is home would come over (although strangers may not be welcome by her). Try leaving a radio on - maybe mostly talk radio so there are voices. If mom had music or the TV on all day, then do that. Anything that Sadie could associate with mom would be good. Depending on Sadie's age, she may sleep most of the day but little comforts and familiar things would be good. It will take awhile - probably weeks until she settles into the new normal for her. If she seems particularly distressed you can get some Fel-i-way plug ins for the house. They relieve anxiety. You may need several depending on the size of the house so check the label. I think one covers about 400sf. Have you considered adopting a friend for her? I would consider this as a last resort though. I hope this helps. Again, I am sorry for the sudden loss of mom. I know this must be hard on you, too.
 

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To be honest I am still kind of numb. We were expecting to be able to bring her home around Wednesday after she got hydrated and had her CT scan. Anyway concentrating on Sadie is helping me cope. I would love to get her a friend but I think that mite be a tad stressful for everyone involved. My place is very small and I don't have the space to do a proper integration. In the future if I get a bigger apt (or more likely, one that's cheaper and laid out better) I will definitely be getting her a little brother or sister.
 

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I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your mom....that is never an easy thing. Animals are pretty smart and Sadie may be very aware of what has happened. To help her transition, you might try taking something that was close to your mom...a pillow and blanket or something of that nature that still has your mom's scent on it...don't wash it. This will give her some sense of familiarity. I was a caregiver for a lady that passed away and when I brought her animals back with me I brought something with them that they were attached to. We kept small blankets that would cover the pillows or couch cushions. They seemed to like that.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have anything to add except maybe do as much ”lap time” as you can. Sadie will like it and it may end up being therapeutic for you as well. Lap time is almost always good for me. Take care of yourself.
 

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To be honest I am still kind of numb. We were expecting to be able to bring her home around Wednesday after she got hydrated and had her CT scan. Anyway concentrating on Sadie is helping me cope. I would love to get her a friend but I think that mite be a tad stressful for everyone involved. My place is very small and I don't have the space to do a proper integration. In the future if I get a bigger apt (or more likely, one that's cheaper and laid out better) I will definitely be getting her a little brother or sister.
A new companion animal may be too much which is why I indicated you should do this with caution. My gut tells me it's not a good idea that this time.

I adopted a 15 year old Maine Coon that had been at Animal Control for 2 months. She was at a Petsmart when I found her. Her human mom had been put in to a nursing home and the children could not be bothered with a 15 year old cat so they gave her up to AC. I felt for months that that cat was heartbroken. She would look out the windows and cry and the emotional side of me always thought she was crying for her mom or wanting a car to drive up for her. I humanized her feelings but I know she was grieving her previous life. My heart broke for her but we just tried to give her all the love and affection she would let us. I learned a lot about giving a cat space to mourn yet loving attention when she seemed to want it. I hope you can do the same. It will help to actually talk to her and tell her that you also miss mom. She won't understand the words but she will understand the shared grief. ***hugs to you***.
 

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I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom. I'm sure she would be very proud and happy that you're looking out for Sadie. I think cats are very emotionally aware and intuitive, and I'm sure she senses your loss as well, she probably just needs some time to grieve too. Hopefully you can both lean on one another. As Chuck mentioned, just try to get in as much cuddling and laptime with her as possible. Does she sleep with you? That may help too. Again, so sorry for your loss.
 
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