Cat Forum banner

1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,437 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I think I harbor resentment towards Minion.

I fully expect to be lambasted for this, but. I just don't "like" her.

First there is the obvious, she is costing me a fortune. I didn't want another cat but darn it, I couldnt' just let her go to her death. but now she's given both of my previously healthy cats the feline herpes virus, which they will now suffer from for life. Also, she is putting a huge financial strain on me. For a little kitten, she eats like a tiger. Plus her shots, her deworming, her upcoming spay, and treatments for her upper respiratory and GI symptoms.

Then, there is the upheaval she has caused in my house. She hates Moxie. My poor dog is walking on eggshells all the time because this cat just will not accept that the dog is not going to eat her. She is constantly hissing and swatting at my poor dog who has done nothing wrong. Its been months, I don't know what to do. At least she gets along well with the boys.

Finally, there is me. I just don't like her personality. She's super needy, clingy and, frankly, annoying. I joke that her middle name should be nuisance. If I'm sitting down in the apartment, she will not leave me alone. It would be fine if she would just lay still but no, she's up and down and all over me and in my face and walking on my computer and no amount of gently removing her from my presence can dissuade her. I like that she likes me and wants to be near me, but good grief! Give me some space already!

I think she is going to make someone (else) a wonderful pet. But I can't see keeping her. Its going to be hard to find her a home though. She has very specific needs.

1) She needs a quiet home, she's high strung and nervous and wouldn't do well in a busy home with young kids.
2) No dogs. She just can't cope. Obviously. My dog is the most innocuous creature on the planet, and she can't deal with her.
3) Other cats? On the one hand, she loves other cats and would do well with one, BUT, she has feline herpes, she will spread this to any other cats in the household. I will have to disclose this to any potential adopters. This is going to severely limit her pool of suitable homes.

I can't believe I feel this way, and I feel like a horrible person, but I'm actually afraid I am going to be stuck with this unadoptable cat that I don't want and don't even really like because I'm a bleeding heart and couldn't let her go to the shelter to her death.

This is really putting me off rescuing.

Sorry, maybe I'm just being grumpy. Has this ever happened to anyone else?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,974 Posts
I think you're being too hard on yourself. There were plenty of dogs that I fostered that I couldn't WAIT until they were adopted.

You've done her a great service by saving her and socializing her for her future family. I'm sure her perfect family is out there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,953 Posts
Don't feel bad, it just sounds like it's not a good match. I would actually love it if someone told me a cat would be clingy and follow me around -- as a matter of fact, that's what Murphy does and I've always loved that. There are people out there who would love him to death, maybe someone who wants just one cat like we did.

I'm sorry, though, this must be emotionally draining on you. Poor Moxie, my cute puppy :), we don't want her to be stressed out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,451 Posts
Nobody's is going to lambaste you for what you're feeling, especially since you've given her a home despite the problems with your other animals and you and despite the cost. We all have our different lifestyles, and some cats can't adjust to our way of life and vice versa. So, you shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to bond with Minion.

Also, I wouldn't automatically assume that she will be unadoptable. There are likely many people who only want one cat and would like a cat that is a constant companion. For example, I have no young kids and lead a very quiet life. When I adopted Muffs, I wanted a cat who would follow me around and be very cuddly and affectionate, and I actually only wanted one cat at the time. Part of the reason I ended up adopting Abby was because, as luck would have it, Muffs wasn't affectionate and tends to be a bit of a loner. So, I adopted Abby because I wanted a little cuddlebug. I still love Muffs and wouldn't trade her for the world, but had she been the way you describe Minion, I would have been happy and likely wouldn't have adopted a second cat.

I can understand why you would find the situation frustrating and I wish you the best of luck in finding a new home for Minion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,074 Posts
Yeah I agree with Susan. You shouldn't be feeling bad about the way you feel at all. I think we'd all be immensely frustrated in that situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
38 Posts
3) Other cats? On the one hand, she loves other cats and would do well with one, BUT, she has feline herpes, she will spread this to any other cats in the household. I will have to disclose this to any potential adopters. This is going to severely limit her pool of suitable homes.

I can't believe I feel this way, and I feel like a horrible person, but I'm actually afraid I am going to be stuck with this unadoptable cat that I don't want and don't even really like because I'm a bleeding heart and couldn't let her go to the shelter to her death.

This is really putting me off rescuing.

Sorry, maybe I'm just being grumpy. Has this ever happened to anyone else?
I recently returned a cat I adopted to his rescue org after a month. He had similar health issues - upper respiratory infection, eye infection, etc. He was MUCH better after 2 weeks of treatment, but had lingering issues that made me decide to return him. I still feel awful about it, but I think it was the right decision.

As far as the feline herpes, maybe someone else can chime in here, but I think almost all cats that've been in shelters have been exposed to it. Feline herpes is very common. It's just a matter of how the individual cat handles it. It can require a 2 week l-lysine treatment for some cats, others don't seem effected at all, and others might have persistent issues or need long-term treatment to keep it under control.

Hope that my information was somewhat accurate and helpful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
293 Posts
Yes, I understand how you feel. I inherited four of my mother's cats. I always said my mother could ruin the best cat in the world. One tracks litter EVERYWHERE, almost like she rolled in it. One sprays, and he's neutered. One has litterbox issues and pees on all soft surfaces. One pees on my area rugs and will snatch chicken off your plate because Mom always let the cats eat from her plate. They were her lap cats. In fact, the last picture we have her, she has a cat on her lap. One we always called Gargoyle because he sat on the arm of her chair and barely moved all day. I don't even know what his original name was and I think she forgot it herself. She just called him her pretty boy. I feel like my home would be so much cleaner and more peaceful without them, and I feel bad for feeling this way but there it is.

But, they were her little loves and I will take care of them for the rest of their lives.

Not every cat, like not every person, can become your soulmate. Don't beat yourself up. There's someone out there that has a heart for this cat. Do your best to make a new match. It sounds like you are overwhelmed.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
26,495 Posts
You shouldn't feel bad at all. As much as I love Gigi, who is an ANGEL compared to Minion, I still may need to rehome her. She simply hates Charlee, with every fiber of her tiny 7-lb. body, and still stalks and attacks her. I'm tired of dividing my house in half, my twins miss me terribly and are so clingy in the evenings when I'm on their side, and they HATE it when I'm shut in my bedroom. (sorry to go off-topic)

You've gone above and beyond what most people would do. Is there someone you or your vet know of who recently lost an only pet who might be ready for another one?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,437 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I took some pics today and made a cute flyer and have emailed it to some contacts and will post it at my clinics. She really is much better, I think she will be a good pet, she just doesn't fit here. I can't help feel bad. She's not a bad cat at all. I just LOVE my Ninja, Sully and Moxie SO much, and I don't feel that for Minion. Its just odd.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,974 Posts
I'm sure she'll find a great home in no time. A cat with her personality would be perfect for a lot of people (me included). I like the clingy type.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,792 Posts
Aww! Don't feel bad. I sure hope she will find a great home. Sorry things didn't work out for you. I did the same thing with one of my fish. His name was hyper. So I took him to the pet store. He was too much of a hassle.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,246 Posts
Best wishes for finding Minion a home that will be a better fit for her. I know there are some cats you just don't bond as well with. Hopefully she will find her soul mate human and everybody will be happy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,513 Posts
You've rescued her and given her a fighting chance. You shouldn't be feeling bad. Anyone else would have already tossed her out. I applaud you for that.

I love my furkids to bits, but I admit, there are some days when I feel ARGH with some of them. It's just the way it is. I joke to the one who's being difficult and say to them 'I'm going eat you for dinner if you're going to be bad!' But yeah, no one believes me because they know I'm a total animal lover.

Don't assume that no one would want her. Just be honest and transparent with her special needs when advertising. You may have to wait a bit, but there's bound to be another person who wants only one cat and who loves them so much, they're willing to deal with her special needs. You just have to find them. Same with ppl, no matter how good you are, there's going to be people who don't get along with you and there's going to be people who will be the best of friends.

And it's good that you're honest with yourself. It's not a good fit. It's a fact. No need to feel bad. Acknowledge, then deal. In the end, she'll be happier when she finds a home which has no dogs. You'll be happier because you know she found a good home and your other pets will be happy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
52 Posts
You saved the Minion and have done what you could for him, I am sure there is someone out there with the perfect home for him. I know a lot of older people do want a cat who is clingy and wants to always be with them. Is there a rescue group there for cats you can work with? I know when we adopted one of our cats, she had been returned three times in a year to the rescue, just didn't fit. She is doing great here and we have never had a major issue with her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,271 Posts
I wish you all the best in finding another home for Minion. Kudos to you for looking after her. Not everyone can deal with a clingy cat, and as others have said many people would just adore a super affectionate cat that they have to fuss with. Sometimes people's and cat's personalities just clash and that's all there is to it.

In fact this morning on the computer my girl just would not leave me alone and insisted on helping me type on the keys. Put her on the floor when she wouldn't sit still beside the computer. Back up again and just driving me buggy. Some days I have to close the office door to get work done. She's not like this all the time; just seems to be the time when I'm really trying to get something done. :?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,437 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Minion is constantly bouncing across the keyboard and causing havoc while I'm on my laptop. She just wants to be the center of my universe and she can't be! I've emails more people today. I'm being very honest and specific. I'm lucky to work in the animal care industry, I have lots of contacts that way. My clinic offered to adopt her out for me, but she would live in a cage at the clinic until she found a home and I just couldn't do that to her. Besides, I would have no say in who she was adopted by, and I can't do that either. I'm a control freak I guess!
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top