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Discussion Starter #1
I think I've created a monster (hence her nickname, Monkster). I'm with her all the time, every day, and she's become very clingy. One of the reasons why I was cool with having a cat, is that I was expecting her to be more independent when she got older. But, alas. She's like a little dog, she follows me everywhere, she won't leave the bedroom unless I go with her, if I leave her alone for even a few minutes, she cries and is all over me. Instead of sleeping or going of on her own to do cat things, she will sit there and stare at me while I'm painting. I feel bad for her, but if I payed attention to her all of the time, I wouldn't get anything done. She won't even play with her toys by herself. Also, she has yet to fully warm up to other people. I've been her for almost 4 months, and she is still defensive towards my mom, despite the fact that she tries to interact with her everyday.

I have been extra attentive and loving while she has been healing from her surgery, but I would like to be able to eventually get her to be more comfortable with being away from me. Once I start working full time, I will be gone all day and I'm afraid she may become bored and destructive.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I thought I was paying too much attention to her, but it's possible. I haven't played with her all week while she's been healing, but normally we have a good play session everyday (she plays fetch!). Every morning we have a ritual where she gets a good scritching and brushing. I talk to her a lot too.

It might be that she is bored though. There really isn't a lot of room or anything for her to climb on around here. When she's not sleeping or attached to my hip, she sits in the window and watches the birds. I would like to find a toy that she will play with by herself, but she never seems interested.
 

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A good play-by-yourself toy is a type where kitty has to bat a ball or some other object through holes. You could make one yourself with a shoe box and a pingpong ball--- cut some round holes in the box so that kitty can reach in with a paw to bat the ball. Vary the pingpong with a stuffed mousie, so kitty can actually catch it and try and pull it through the holes.

Here's some you can buy. Just make sure they don't have any strings attached to another object. Some cats will chew and eat strings, which could result in an intestinal blockage. So no toys with strings for kitty to play alone, but OK if closely supervised.


Cat Toys, Catnip Toys, Squeek Toys for Cats

e.g. SmarCat Peek a Prize Toy Box, PetStages Cheese Chase Multi Cat Toy
 

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Your story sound awfully familiar: the cat might suffer from separation anxiety. It's a sad condition where the cat (or dog), feel very nervous whenever left alone. In worst cases, it need medication. My cat was medicated in his previous home. When I stopped the medication, he was needy and misbehave when left alone.

Try everything you can to help her being on her own. You could try a treat ball, like this one: Ball Cat Toys: now on Sale at zooplus: SlimCat Treat Ball. My late cat loved a similar one: it gave him food when rolled! It might work if your cat is food oriented.
You also should leave her alone. Firs for small periods, then longer. Pay no attention her if she cries.
 

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My cat is the same. He has separation and abandonment anxiety and he won't play on his own at all. All he does is seek my attention. I've developed ways to cope, but it's not easy. I found that the best way is to tire him, so I take him to the garden in the evenings, while I feed the strays he gets tired running around. I also do some energetic play with him in the mornings when we get up. I've put two chairs joined next to my computer desk, with cushions on them, where he lies and I can pet him while I do my stuff. He sits on the fridge while I do dishes. He climbs the ladder by the window and watches the birds and me from there. It pains me to see that he's so clingy, because I have another cat, the strays and my volunteer work at the strays' hospital, apart from my full-time job. I don't think he'll change in this regard. I don't know, maybe cats found in the street will always be different from those adopted as kittens who never felt the loneliness and despair of the streets. Though I've asked on here and no one mentioned this trait, I think it may be a relevant one to former street cats.
 

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I'm not sure what to advise as I do not have a similar experience. I personally think this is just a transition phase. She was just spayed and is still a kitten. I believe this is the perfect time to intervene and teach her that it's ok to be alone sometimes too.

The closest experience I have is with Cap'n Jack. He is more bonded with me than any other family member and he also follows me around but not constantly. For him, I found if I ignore his whining (unless it's meal time), he whines a bit more then when he sees no response from me, he walks away. Perhaps you can try that? I think it's a learned behavior. If she whines and you respond, then she learns that's the way she can get your attention.

Since she is a kitten, perhaps you can teach her how to amuse herself with toys. One that Cap'n Jack likes is the trackball variety. He was a former stray so I had to teach him how to play with it. Once he learned, it became his fav and he would entertain himself for quite a while.

Amazon.com: Bergan Turbo Track Cat Toy: Pet Supplies

or

Amazon.com: Catit Design Senses Play Circuit: Pet Supplies
 

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my last cat was the same way. He had to be in my lap, on my chest, or curled up in my arms all the time. He would follow me room to room . He was extremely affectionate towards me, but would hiss and swat at other people. Even bit a roomate or two on the leg a few times.

my cats I have now are still very affection seeking. they follow me from room to room and the male has to be in my lap all the time. He will literally sit on my lap with his head in my chest for long periods of time while I work on the computer. My female also likes to play fetch. If I am busy working or watching tv, she will stare at me for long periods of time waiting for me to throw her toy.
 
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