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Discussion Starter #1
One of my best friends has been dating this guy for a year now. He is a piano player and does jazz and classical at the local bars here in Vermont. He has been floating around the US for years now from NY to California and the cruise ship deal. He pretty much hates the climate here but is sticking around because of my friend. Anyways....he is orginally from NYC and he acts so stuck up and annoying. He is such a pill too.

Most recently I had a party at my place he brought 2 bottle of wine, a bag of chips and some salsa. Anyways...so we had dinner and then played some games like this really fun one called Apples to Apples. So during the game he kept wondering when we were going to be done with it and everyone else was having fun and laughing at the game but he was just so serious. He kept giving us looks when we laughed like "that wasn't funny...what are you laughing for?". He proceeded to drink everyone else's wine that they brought or what I had on hand. When it was time to leave he took his 2 bottles of wine, the half eaten bag of chips and jar of salsa. For someone who acts like such a sophisticated uptight NYC man I think what he did in taking back what he brought was pretty cheap. I don't mean any offense to anyone from NYC but he will always so "oh well it must be because I am from NYC.

This summer they went camping with Sean and I and the whole time prior he was talking about how he loved camping and went to burning man festival and knows all about camping. Well when we went to pick him up he had packed an electric coffee pot, 3 garbage bags full of clothes 6 pairs of shoes, ..just all of this junk that is way too excessive for camping. When we got to the campground he didn't even help us collect wood or kindling and then proceeded to tell Sean how the fire should be made. Then I tried to prepare this nice dinner to cook over the fire and all he would eat was hotdogs (after all I had been hearing for the past month is that meat is gross and I am trying to become a vegetarian). He ended up getting pretty drunk and when everyone was piling into the tent for the night he wandered off into the woods to pee without a flashlight, fell and cracked his chin open. He had to be taken to the emergency room for stiches. Brooke and him spent their remaining money on beer the next day and then didnt' have any to rent kayaks. We went hiking and before we went he took 3 shots of jack daniels and then when we had to climb down this steep hill he professed "that can't be the way it is tooo steep" I could imagine it would be after 3 shots of jack daniels. Anyways...I am pretty sure he is an alcoholic and he jsut really annoys me.

After my friends play that she stage directed he said it was the most awful thing he ever saw. I thought it was wonderful and the crowd gaving a roaring standing ovation. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but he was like "oh well it must be because I am from the city" .

anyways...sorry for the rant. I love my friend, but I really really dislike him.
 

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Ah, I remember the comment about the play in a previous post.

What a wank! I would HATE hanging around with him...hopefully your friend will wisen up and drop him soon.
 

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I learned a while back that if your friend's don't like your man, your parents don't like your man, and your man's "friends" don't like him then say adios. I'm assuming that you've already talked to your friend about it. If not, approach it with concern for her, not with bad comments about him. When I was in that situation I knew deep down that my boyfriend was a putz, I just didn't want to admit it and let my parents and friends be right. In the end I realized that my parents and friends knew what they were talking about, and that my relationship with this guy wasn't going anywhere good. Hopefully your friend will come around soon. The best thing you can do for her now is voice you worries but also let her know that you stand by her.
Good luck
--Annasaur
 

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Annasaur said:
I learned a while back that if your friend's don't like your man, your parents don't like your man, and your man's "friends" don't like him then say adios. I'm assuming that you've already talked to your friend about it. If not, approach it with concern for her, not with bad comments about him. When I was in that situation I knew deep down that my boyfriend was a putz, I just didn't want to admit it and let my parents and friends be right. In the end I realized that my parents and friends knew what they were talking about, and that my relationship with this guy wasn't going anywhere good. Hopefully your friend will come around soon. The best thing you can do for her now is voice you worries but also let her know that you stand by her.
Good luck
--Annasaur
NO KIDDING!!! I had boyfriends in high school everyone hated...and then I started dating Erik, by best friend at the time...and everyone loved him...and 5 1/2 years later, here we are...
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Unfotunately no one likes him so we have all talked to my friend kindly and gently about it and she has even broke up with him a few times and then took him back. She doesn't even know how she feels about him. It is pretty bizzarre. There has been times she has gotten so mad she throws things (not at him) and yells and one time she almost kicked him out of the car in the middle of nowhere. That is a whole other story. Basically she drove him to his gig 30 min away ..and on teh way back the muffler fell off her car. She got out and started trying to fix it. He just stood there and watched...I guess she shot him a look and he was like "I can't! I am a pianist and I can't risk hurting/burning my hands". She got mad and attempted to leave him there. Maybe one day she will realize. She even says she can't forsee being with him in the long term. I feel bad in a way for him because she is just stringing him along. Other times though when they are over at my place they have these all out make out sessions while everyone is hanging out talking. It's like fire and ice. I dunno.
 

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manitu22 said:
Basically she drove him to his gig 30 min away ..and on teh way back the muffler fell off her car. She got out and started trying to fix it. He just stood there and watched...I guess she shot him a look and he was like "I can't! I am a pianist and I can't risk hurting/burning my hands".
I'd punch Erik if he did that to me! lol
 

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Annasaur said:
I learned a while back that if your friend's don't like your man, your parents don't like your man, and your man's "friends" don't like him then say adios. I'm assuming that you've already talked to your friend about it. If not, approach it with concern for her, not with bad comments about him. When I was in that situation I knew deep down that my boyfriend was a putz, I just didn't want to admit it and let my parents and friends be right. In the end I realized that my parents and friends knew what they were talking about, and that my relationship with this guy wasn't going anywhere good. Hopefully your friend will come around soon. The best thing you can do for her now is voice you worries but also let her know that you stand by her.
Good luck
--Annasaur
I completely agree. Forever I made excuses for Nick to EVERYONE family, friends, etc. Eventually people figure things out for themselves. JUst be patient and supportive.
 

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I agree with Shelly. I think, if you've spoken to your friend already, the best thing to do would be to be supportive and stand back and let her figure it out herself...just be there when she gets hurt. Good luck. :)
 

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My cousin also had a lowly whiney jerk for a boyfriend... everyone disliked him so much. :roll: Me especially. :p

The rule is: as long as they are dating you love them and treat them nicely (because you love that person enough). Of course, the second rule is: the second she dumps him - tell her how wonderful she is and what an absolute jerk he was... and all the things you thought of him while the two of them were together. It's a bonus - because she needs the encouragement and you need to vent. :p

Usually, if you talk about how much you dislike him while she is with him... she might just date him anyway because it's "bad"? I dunno. :lol:
 

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Sounds like a complete Jerk to me. But tolerate him for your friend. Sometime soon hopefully she will see the light.
 

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well I know I'm only like a kid, but once my friend had a friend who was a complete jerk, and eventually, she dumped him. although she wasn't really my friend, it didn't stop him from being a jerkwad and hanging around us. :roll: basicaly, I agree with Shelly and Spamlet.
 

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manitu22 said:
He just stood there and watched...I guess she shot him a look and he was like "I can't! I am a pianist and I can't risk hurting/burning my hands".
Them's the breaks. When you're a musician, that's what matters. Maybe your friend needs someone who'll dote on her instead.

And it has nothing to do with 'manliness' and everything to do with a potential career, which classical musicians tend to take seriously. The nerve of them! :roll:
 

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The hands of pianists are EXTREMELY precious.

My mother was a classical pianist. She tried to make me one (I never had the gift).

I never take stuff out of the oven. NEVER. I try to stay away from hot and sharp objects because I like to save my hands for dissecting stuff under the microscope.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Without my hands I would not be able to perform my job and I am not a pianist. Even if I were to burn or slightly injure them it would be extremely difficult to do my job. He could have at least offered to help in some way or looked around for a pair of gloves...towel etc. to put over his hands. My friend does not expect to be waited on hand and foot but she wasn't sure what to do in this situation was was expecting a little help.
 
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