[MrPurryMotors]

Hello. I'm a new member here. I'm a first time pet owner, along with my sister whom I live with at the moment, and we both constantly have questions, so I figured I'd find us a good Bulletin Board. I hope this is the correct section for this? It's about how he acts/behaves. I think.

My little guy - his name is Drizzle, he's an American bi-color short-hair, dark gray and cloud white, 8 months old just the other day - is the light of my life. I got him in mid-may, he was 8 or 9 weeks old by that point (he was born March 15). Anyway, it was love at first sight. I've always babied and pampered him. I love him so much, it's silly.

But for the past few weeks/months, he's been... different.

He's always been an affectionate cat. Not too many "hugs" (rubbing up against you) but lots of snuggling, and he hates to be alone - he can't stand it if he knows your behind a closed door, he crys and crys like such a little baby, it's heart breaking - we don't close doors inside the house anymore, lol.

Well, Right after we got him fixed, he was lovey-dovey, as always. He'd been a bit "off" before we got him fixed, hormones and all, but afterword he was back to his old self. He loved us (me and my Sis,) and was super snuggly. Maybe more than pre-fixing. But ever since, he's slowly grown more and more... distant?

Whenever I walk towards him, he tends to move away. Not run, just walk away, like "I don't want to be near you." If I pick him up, he'll stay for a little bit, but then he just wants away. He won't sit with me on the couch or on my lap anymore. He only snuggles when we're asleep and can't snuggle back, like we're more a pillow than anything else. It's really breaking my heart because it feels like he doesn't love me anymore.

Any idea why he's so... un-loving, now? He still trusts us, he still does "tummy time" and he still can't stand to be away from us for even a moment, but... he just seems to want to be in the area of us, and nothing else. Just to know we're there for Security and otherwise, he wants nothing to do with us. He won't even let me put him as he walks by, he makes sure to go *around* my hand, to avoid me.

Is it over-affection on my part? Have I been too lovey, attentive, too much petting? Is he mad at me? Could I be un-intentionally hurting him when I pick him up? I use both hands and, 90% of the time, one hand in back, one in front, to evenly support. I always hold him as he likes it - on his back, using my arm like a splint so his back doesn't hurt. He always gets mad unless I do it that way so I know that's how he prefers. I'm always telling him how I love him, always gentle, always showing him attention. And whenever he see's be petting Boo (or other cat,) he looks at me like "Why aren't you petting me?" which I then do so he doesn't feel unloved.

It's so confusing!

How can I get him to love me again?

 

[Aonir]

Kittens are always more playful and affectionate than cats - and they also require more attention. As the kitten gets older, certain traits may go away. Everything changes over time. My cat Angel used to be a snuggle-bug as a kitten, she's now more 'Im queen, your my slave' lol
My Oreo who is a little older than your cat, still affectionate, still a bratt, but not as much as when he was a kitten. My senior cats are very affectionate to. It all depends on the cat.

Maybe your cat is bored and needs something to entertain him. Have you tried giving your kitty catnip to let him play and excercise? Another cat could be good company to. But you have to go through proper introduction stages which isn't always easy.

A cat that lays in the 'baby' position is supposed to be a good cat. It is recommended to test cats by picking them up like that. I personally don't care much for it, because cats get on their backs for fighting, or showing affection.

 

[Wayne]

Welcome to the forum. I have noticed this trait in some cats also, and it doesn't matter if they are adopted or from a "home-brew" litter.

Last July I visited the Wichita, KS animal shelter, however I arrived about 90 minutes too early for them to be open. While trying to keep myself busy in their lawn area, an elderly couple drove up and parked next to my truck. She got out and took a pet carrier into the animal surrender section. I noticed she did not stay long in there but came, almost immediately, back out. By this time I was back to my truck and began to talk to her. I noticed that she had an orange male cat (and I do mean ORANGE), in the carrier. After mentioning this to her she offered me the cat! :shock: So, I couldn't refuse this offer, and brought him home with me, driving the 113-mile one-way trip. Sammy cat is one of the most affectionate cats in my menagerie. He cries when ever I go into town to take care of business, and he is among the most affectionate eight for greeting me when I return. If anything, Sammy has become more of a loving pet that when he was when I first got him.

I recently adopted a white kitten with black spots on her. Blitz Bug was recently spayed, and now her kittenish ways are beginning to become less. She is not as vocal nor affectionate as she was when I first brought her home with me. I would be more concerned about this change in personality if I had not seen it before. Some cats are that way.

Do you give your pet treats or personally see to it that she eats some food that is her favorite :?: I have found that a ticked-off cat can be brought back into confidence with special food or cat treats. But whether your pet is ticked off at you or not, I would still have some special cat food ready for her at least once a week. Also, I have found that if a cat's "owner" takes an interest only in her welfare, they will usually return the attention.

 

[kitkat]

When I first got my kittens they were so cuddly and affectionate and even sleeping in the same bed as me. Now that they are a year old they have their own sleeping spots and also whats mostly changed is that, Twinkie my boy cat, used to sit on my lap and such a little bit, not like Sugar, she's cuddly but now Twinkie never ever does that. The day he will jump in my lap is the day pigs will fly! I just think your kitten is growing up, theres not much to do to change his personality but just love him as he loves you still :wink:

 

[MrPurryMotors]

Hmm. Well on the plus side, what you all seem to be saying is it's just normal growing up. Least that means he doesn't hate me.

Though the walking away to avoid me does still bug me...

As to special attention, special treats, and play time, there is lots of that. LOL. Like I said, I spoil him rotten. They have the hard cerial "kibble" type kitten food, which they more or less snack on, and then we give them wet bite-sized kitten food at least twice a day (morning and evening) and usually treats when they do something really good (like, Drizzle will play Fetch, and if he does it more than just 3 or 4 times, we give him treats) or sometimes just as a mid-day snack.

We have two cats, Boo and Drizzle, and so he's not lonely. I'm also a stay-at-home person, so I'm here with him 24/7 more or less, so I know it's not lonely. He plays as much as I can get him too. I'm always throwing a ball or a paper ball for him, or his mousies or something. He's not to keen on play though, except with Boo, lol. But he's very active and Katnip would likely make him go berzerk. He's VERY energetic as is.

It just feels as if he's trying to avoid me, like he's bored with ME...?

 

[Lilly]

cats are funny creatures arent they! When we want them to play and love us, they want to be off by themselves. However when we are trying to sleep,or type on the keyboard, or read the newspaper there is the kitty wanting to be petted and loved on. I defanetley think this is normal behavior for a cat. Your baby is just growing up. it is hard isnt it!
I am positive your kitty doesnt hate you! It sounds like you are a wonderfull cat parent! Just be pateint and your kitty will let you know when he is ready to be loved on.
Maybe you might want to adopt another kitten, not for your cat to play with but for you to love. I have 3 cats and one of them is usually around when I want someone to cuddle. Just a thought?

 

[juliahadley]

I think it is just normal he is growing up and is now more independent

it sounds like he really loves you though, showing his belly and snuggling up in bed

a lot of cats stop sleeping on the bed when grown up but he is still sleeping with you

my youngest cat is 9 months, we've had him since 8 weeks
when he was little he would sleep on me all the time, and always be in my lap

however now he is older he sleeps on a bean bag in the front room, whilst we are in the living room

it is just normal behaviour I think
our cat is still affectionate, but sometimes will walk away if he wants to do something else or go off and sleep

it doesn't mean he doesn't love you
from other things he does it sounds like he loves you very much
J

 

[MrPurryMotors]

Aww, now I feel better.

He is affectionate, it's just not as much as it was. I guess I was just worried because it was so much less than it used to be, but apparently, he's *still* more affectionate than most. Good!



He loves sleeping with us. Always sleeps between someones legs. LOL. Hugs a leg, sometimes, too. Think he thinks our legs are just long arms that hug him. Hehe. We always slept with him as a baby, every night, for weeks on end.

As for a third cat, we have two right now and a third would be... overload. Plus, it was tough enough getting these two used to each other. A third? Oh my. And then we'd have to do all the medical stuff...

Nope, right now, just two. If we found or where given one, we'd of course keep and take care of it, but right now getting another one on purpose is not an option.

Thanks, though, all. I feel better now.

 

[Raina_Stardust]

Sounds like your little boy is growing up. Next thing you know he'll be asking for the car keys!! :lol: