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Discussion Starter #1
I've adopted my cat for about 4 months but he don't seem to be affectionate at all. He's always hyperactive, eager for play, but seldom show affection. He do purr, but seldom rubs his head against my legs/fingers, except for when he's hungry, or I when I show up after a disappearing for sometime. He should be about 8 months old now.

He always entertain himself, and I've yet to see him approaching me for attention, doing all the things sweet cats do, like jumping on laps.

I really wish for him to be an attention hog, meowing persistently just for some attention, and things like that.

Maybe it's me who's asking for too much but it really upsets me to find out that my cat don't show affection..

I'm really on my wits end. Please help...
 

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I think that is just his personality and doubt you can change that.

Some cats are very 'needy' and love to to cuddled, some are a lot more independant and don't seem to bothered....but look at this way, he seems very very content anyway :)
 

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Pesty was always very independant, similar to what you say your kitten is now. Just this year, at age 3, he has become extremely affectionate. Laying on our laps, rubbing on our legs, and always wanting to be pet. So, I think, it can happen. It just might take time.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
OwnedByACat said:
Pesty was always very independant, similar to what you say your kitten is now. Just this year, at age 3, he has become extremely affectionate. Laying on our laps, rubbing on our legs, and always wanting to be pet. So, I think, it can happen. It just might take time.
So I don't have to do anything and I need to wait for nature to take its course?
 

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hengyu - I'm going through a similar lack of affection from my cats.
I've read a few threads on this issue, and have concluded that cats
do have specifics of their personality we can't really initiate change.

however, whether it's recovering from a trauma, or becoming more
affectionate, some cats will improve over time - as long as a year.
so just keep being the best care giver you can, and give them time.
 

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I think at 8 months he's still a little young to want to be affectionate. He's still at the exploration stage, learning new things, learning how to play hunt and stalk.
 

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There's nothing you can do to get this to change, other than consistently and gently give him whatever affection he'll accept. But cats do change over time. It took Maggie 10 years, but she's finally become quite the little affection seeker. An 8 month old kitten is more interested in playing and exploring his world, he's likely to seek snuggling more as he matures. Holly, who is 2 1/2, was pretty affectionate as a small kitten, then kind of backed away for a year or so (from 6 mos to 18 mos) and in the last year has become a real snuggle bug. So you may see things change.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Then let's hope for the better...

Anyway, my black cat looks like yours, doodlebug. But he has white "eyebrows" and white patches on his chest.
 

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You can try interactively playing with your cat at a certain time each day, making that a "designated play time". Kitties love to play, and like consistency and routine for things that are important to them. Scheduled playtime gives your cat both, and that is a good foundation on which to build a relationship with your kitty.
It also shows your cat that he or she is important in your life. Young kittens might not be able to appreciate that, but as cats grow up, they do.

But, with all that said, remember that cats build their relationship with their humans on their own schedule. Your kitten is still very young, Hengyu. Give her time.
:eek:rcat
 

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I would also tell you that it might be a good thing that your cat is a boy...at least in my experience, male cats are more affectionate, generally speaking. Although I tend to love girl cats! And I do agree your cat is rather young to be very affectionate. I have a now 2.5-year-old calico who was a CRAZY kitten who I could barely pet, she was so wound up all of the time. Then when she got a bit older, she started lying in my lap and sleeping beside me at night. And she loves to be petted! There also might be the option for you to get a friend for you kitten...perhaps an older, adult cat whose personality is already established and who is really affectionate! I know sometimes this is not possible, but it is something to think about. Good luck!

Karie
 

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I've found that if you want your cat to be vocal, and meowing for more attention, then talk to him more. The more you talk to him, the more he'll talk to you.

Elfie wasn't affectionate at all until he was ten years old. Until he got old, he was always too concerned about his "business". Too busy guarding his territory in the yard, hunting, and being too cool for school. Now all the old sack of bones wants is massages all day!
 

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Same here, Gracie was never willing to be petted for long at first, but now she is willing to curl up next to us at night and is getting much mellower. She is now 1.5 years old, so maybe your kitty will be calmer and more affectionate as he gets older...

Fran
 

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I did my very, very best to make both my cats extremely affectionate. I basically spoiled them rotten. If they asked for attention they got it, maybe just a second but they got it. I found out what they like, Willie likes bum scrubs not he does not like being touched on the face. If he does not push into my hand during a bum scrub then I should stop because he does not want one. Neko likes his face to be rubbed but I should never do it without asking (offering my finger) because he does not tolerate rude behavior. He also likes short bum scrubs.
After we got Willie it took a LONG time before Neko was back to his affectionate self (nearly two years), he almost went into depression, he is sensitive and almost acts embarrassed to put on displays of affection to people now that Willie is here. I don;t know if he really was less affectionate or if he just stopped communicating so openly, he was more subtle. Being very polite about affection giving, not continuing affection too long each time (because it can get annoying) and letting them know I'm listening to when they ask (for some cats their requests are very subtle, they may look at you a certain way, walk a little bit closer to you than usual, not all are like Willie who simply screams at you and jumps into your arms) goes a long way to making them ask more, no point in asking if no one listens. I think listening is more important than anything, most people cannot read Neko so he comes off as cold, truth is he asks them for pets several times but they don't accept him because he does not outright jump into their laps or bump like Willie does. Neko may just look at you in a certain way and you need to offer your hand for him to come or say "Hi Nekooooo!" and he'll pop right over.

For some cats it's simply personality, they are aloof. That is why I will always share my home with a Siamese or similar breed (though I will rescue from a shelter/rescue if I can, preferably from a foster home so they know his outside of shelter personality) it greatly increases the chance of me getting a super affectionate cat as Siamese are supposed to be.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I adopted my cat and I don't even know what's his breed.... >.<

I talk to him a lot, my brother thinks that I'm mad and all.

Now he's sleeping on my desk in a weird manner.

Guess I'll just give some time for him to become affectionate.
 

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Your cat is still a kitten and he is currently hitting his "obnoxious teenager stage". Every foster kitten I've had of this age is a little terror. They want to play play play and explore everything they can fit their little head into! Many are not concerned with cuddling and won't sit still for very long. You will see his personality change a bit as he matures. Just wait him out and give him lots of exercise. You will probably be describing a very different cat about this time next year.
 
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