The apartment is TOO BIG for her to get used to all at once! You need to put her in a small and quiet room. There needs to be food, water and a litterbox, but The Most Important Thing she needs right now...is a SAFE CAVE where she can hide and feel secure until she feels more comfortable with exploring her surroundings.

Under a bed is fine, though I prefer to not allow them to be under furniture where I have no access to them, and I feel a bathroom with a towel-covered large cat carrier or large card-board box is best. ...both with fluffy towels* for comfort when laying in there. You want something that you can frequently and easily come visit to offer her food-treats and/or reach your hand in to pet, rub and reassure her that everything is okay. When she feels more confident and comes out of her 'safe place' to spend time with you is a good sign. Then she can explore her new room. When she is comfortable with that and begins to show interest in things beyond the door, offer her the choice of coming out with you to look around. You go with her; talking to her and petting her. At the first sign of anxiety, help her back to her safe-room and reassure her. Eventually, she will spend longer and longer out of the safe-room until she no longer needs to stay in there and has claimed the entire home as hers.
heidi =^..^=

*I always put a soft/absorbent towel in the cat carriers when transporting cats to help them be comfortable and soak up any 'accidents'.

 

Thank you so much, Heidi, for your advice. I will try placing her in a smaller room and giving her all of the essentials, plus some comfort items. I'll be back to tell how it goes.

 

Oh, that would be GREAT if you would keep us updated. Sometimes, the information you post can help other people in similar situations. The main thing is for the kitty to have a place where they think they are safe. The carrier or box needs to have a towel draped over it, with only a small-ish opening/gap at the bottom for them to go under, so they feel "enclosed" and "safe"...but you can lift to check on them and offer treats or loves.
I bet she will be comfortable in a short amount of time, especially if you are there to reassure her.
\h

 

...is a SAFE CAVE where she can hide and feel secure until she feels more comfortable with exploring her surroundings.

Under a bed is fine, though I prefer to not allow them to be under furniture where I have no access to them

little lion' like :arrow: cave! ... human however have to reach

You want something that you can frequently and easily come visit to offer her food-treats and/or reach your hand in to pet, rub and reassure her that everything is okay.

You go with her; talking to her and petting her. At the first sign of anxiety, help her back to her safe-room and reassure her.

"You go with her; talking to her and petting her" looks like very important .. = atback


I'm pretty new in the cat caring but ... maybe a new toy? :wink

g

 

Yup! Sometimes toys can work. They help to distract the kitty, get them comfortable playing and they then associate that comfortable feeling (playing) with being in the new place.
h

 

Thanks for the advice! Here's an update:

Zoe finally came out of her shell and has been exploring, eating/drinking, and even sleeping at the foot of the bed. I bought her a scratching post, catnip, some toys, and made her a little covered bed.

Now that she's more comfortable, though, she's not as nice. She still doesn't know my husband that well, and has hissed at him and scratched both of us multiple times in the past 2 days. We bought a squirt gun that we plan to use liberally, but I'm afraid that she'll never calm down and be friendly. She's really poorly socialized after knowing only me for 7 years.

She blocks doorways and paths in our apartment, and when we try to walk by, she screeches and claws at us. Is this normal for cats to go from being frightened and mild to suddenly very territorial in a new place? She changed like night and day.

Unfortunately, even when she was comfortable with me at my old house, she would still scratch me for no reason. Is it too late for a cat this old to learn to be nice?

I appreciate any help I can get. Thanks!

 

Wow, it sounds like Zoe is *not* very comfortable there yet...and I suspect you hit the nail on the head about her lack or socialization skills.

I believe almost all cats can be socialized. My work taming and socializing feral cats assures me that socializing a poorly-socialized housecat CAN be done, but it takes time, patience and persistence. Oh, and NO negative reinforcement so that means you're gonna have to put the squirt bottles away if you want this to work, otherwise the squirt bottles will only reinforce her to keep her distance AND distrust you both, making your socialization efforts harder to achieve. Yes, there is a time/place for squirt-bottle aversion training, but this is not one of those times.

The squirt bottle shouldn't ever be used to 'punish' a cat, only to 'deter' a cat from being about to do something, like punctuation coming at the end of a sentence it needs to be used as a last resort, as reinforcement to a known verbal command....like: "Get down!" and if the cat doesn't get down, pick up and shake or squirt the water bottle to reinforce your command and show the cat that you *can* make them listen from across the room. That isn't punishment, that is a reinforcement of your command without having to physically get up and go make the cat get down.

You need to both socialize her. You both need to be seen as The Bringers of Good Things. This means she needs to see you both offering her food treats, playing with her, feeding her regular meals and offering pettings/lovings for her to enjoy and then slowly step up the handling sessions. I have an intense program I put my cats through (my own and the cats I foster for the adoption center) that socializes them to all manner of things and they come through those experiences as calm and confident cats, with slight variations due to individual personality, but still a cat that can be handled by almost anyone. This what I feel Zoe needs.
h =^..^=

 

Wow, thanks. I had no idea that squirting wouldn't be good. My husband stands very strong on the idea that we will not tolerate violence in our house, and that punishment for any attacking will cause her to either cease and be friendly, or avoid us, resulting in no attacking. I would rather not have Zoe fear him, though.

Do you have any advice on what to do after she attacks? Let's say there's no warning - no ears going back or growling or tail flicking - we just walk by and she grabs us and scratches/bites. Do we just yell really loud? Will that make her stop?

I'm not doubting your advice at all, just trying to get a better understanding of what our goal should be and how this will work. Thanks!

 

I want to first say that I completely understand your husband's "no violence" policy, and I think it is a good one to have. What I don't think is a good idea, is maybe the way he is thinking about achieving that goal, because if he uses aversion techniques on Zoe right now, she *will* learn and be conditioned to avoid people...and that really won't mean she'll have a good 'Quality of Life' living constantly on edge and trying to avoid the people in her home. All this will do is increase the probability of something negative happening whenever she *does* make contact with people. She needs to be shown how to behave in a family, not pushed away for not knowing how she should behave.
What I feel needs to be done, is try to make her an integral PART of your home, not exclude her.

This will be difficult for me to describe, mostly because it is a concept and also because I am not there to actually *see* how Zoe interacts with the people of her world.
Usually, a cat will give a warning...but some of those warning signals are very subtle, or the cat escalates from mild-to-wild without utilizing any of the middle steps that could have given warning and allowed us to back off. To break this type of cycle, I think it is going to require a bit of "love conquers all" sort of techniques.

First, here is a link to what I call my Kitty Cat Boot Camp.
There will be a lot of information here that won't apply to Zoe but the overall techniques and goals remain the same; working steadily with the cat in a consistent, persistent and patient manner, moving forward to attain improvement, but trying to keep all experiences positive, because the cat will learn to trust and grow with the positive experiences and negative experiences will set everyone back in the socialization process.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=60586&p=605051

I have only encountered one cat who would attack without warning (a neighbor's cat) and I suspect that she did so because of a flea allergy that made her skin sensitive to touch, so when I would pet her she would over-react because of her sensitive skin and swipe/bite at me. She improved with me applying Frontline and by picking her up and handling her, never allowing her to approach me unrestrained until after I had worked her through some of the socialization and handling exercises. Her owner was elderly and didn't pet her, he only fed and cared for her, so she didn't know how to behave when being touched and I had to show her that being handled was a Good Thing.

Please, take some time and read through the KCBC. Mostly about how eye contact affects cats and how to firmly place the cat near/on you and handling her for short but frequent sessions, taking note of her attitude and if she relaxes and begins to enjoy and/or seek attention out. I also think play could be beneficial to her, help her get rid of any excess or pent-up energy and learn to relax and 'cut loose' when around you both.
Good luck, and I'll try to answer any questions you have so I can help Zoe integrate into the marital family...
heidi

 

Most Cats seem to hate car trips but mine LOVE IT, i dunno why they just curl up on the backseat and sleep. I've always found this weird :?

 

Hey Heidi,
I'm SixthTambourine's husband, Steve, and I thought that it would be very beneficial for me to join the conversation and participate since I'm obviously very involved in Zoe's new home as well. I work a midnight shift, so I'm able to post here at night during work.

Anyway, I read through (and really appreciated) your KCBC thread and, a lot of it, while it doesn't directly apply to Zoe and us, is helpful in learning about cat psychology and how to interact with cats in general. I also really appreciate your advice on this thread in particular.

As my wife said, Zoe has always been a very aggressive cat, screeching and scratching people with little or no provocation; and moving to a new place with a new person after really only interacting with my wife really didn't help her attitude. We have a scratching board (the kind that's several layers of corrugated cardboard, and we occasionally sprinkle it with a little catnip) that she seems to be pretty fond of; a laundry basket with sheets and fluffy towels in it for a bed/cave; and a few mouse toys; all in a corner of our bedroom so she has a clear area to use as her personal sanctuary.
She does use the scratching board and the mouse toys, but she hasn't touched the bed we set up, so I was planning on picking up one of those "kitty cubes" on my way home from work this morning in hopes that she'll like that better.
Most of the time she hides under our couch or bed (the two are in separate, adjacent rooms), which is fine. We don't bother her when she's hiding. The main problem is that when she does come out, it's almost never to socialize with us.
When she's out of hiding, she often stands in a doorway, hallway, or other narrow space that we need to get through. When we approach it to try and get through, she arches, hisses, screams, and all-out attacks our feet if we take a step.
I'm convinced that these attacks aren't just because she's a mean cat: she feels threatened in some way, so I can never stay angry when she does it. I just have some serious problems (call it pride if you want) with having to adjust my daily activities in my own apartment just because the cat happens to be standing where I wanted to go.

Reading through the Kitty Boot Camp, it is clear that I do need to take a long amount of time socializing with her to ensure that she doesn't feel threatened by my wife and me moving about the apartment. The issue with that is that we have no idea how to go about your steps. Holding her is completely impossible. If I were to place my hand anywhere near her, even slowly, she will do one of several things:
Groan-hum (not quite sure what to call it; it's a closed-mouth sound, not quite a meow) and back away, hiss at me, and scratch.
In the cases that she does seek attention from us (usually in the morning when we wake up), she calls the shots of petting. She is VERY happy and affectionate during these times, rubbing against our hands and purring, but if I make the move to pet her, (again, I move slowly and steadily. I understand not to make sudden movements) she'll usually groan-hum and cower like I described above. It is for these reasons that I have no idea how we would go about socializing, because the first steps outlined in your KCBC involve touching right from the beginning.

As SixthTambourine (not sure if she's comfortable with using her name on the internet, so I'll call her that for now ) said, we did buy a squirt gun and had planned to use it when she was standing in the way and hissing at us, but we have not found occasion to use it since the purchase, so your advice to put it away came just in time. What would you advise doing if she's standing in the way? The problem is not that she's showing no warning signs, she definitely is, but we do need to get past her in these cases despite the warning signs.
I was looking at it this way: As you said in an earlier post, the squirt gun is used as a command reinforcement tool. Do we give a command like "get out!", then if she doesn't move, squirt her (at least until she recognizes the squirt gun) / shake the squirt gun (after she recognizes it)?
Another alternative I was pondering is to pull out a laser pointer and distract her. She does often chase it to play, and she really enjoys doing it, but I haven't yet tried using it in these situations. Would that be a preferable alternative, or do you think that's evading the issue too much instead of dealing with it directly?

Another question I had is what to do during/after an attack. As my wife said above, sometimes she'll be sitting there peacefully and just attack when we walk by with no visible warning. You said not to use the squirt bottle to punish, but are we to do nothing after she scratches one of us? What about during an attack: do we just stand there and take it until she's done?
That's not as sarcastic as it sounds; I really am asking what you would advise since you know what you're talking about.

Whew. I'm sorry for such a long post; I'm just really ignorant on the subject. I've always been a dog person by nature, but I really am trying to come around and learn how to coexist with a cat. I do think Zoe has potential to be a loving companion in our home, and I really really want her to learn to love and trust me! Thanks so much for your help, and ST and I will be sure to keep you updated on Zoe's progress!

 

Just posting on here to echo Steve's post. We weren't able to write together due to different work/sleep schedules, but I think he said it all more thoroughly than I could. We appreciate any advice!

Sixthtambourine, AKA Shelley :wink:

 

Steve and Shelley, I am so glad you are both concerned about helping Zoe try to adjust. Her situation is severe and I've never encountered a cat such as she...I think Merry (Mitts & Tess) would have some good advice and I'll shoot her a PM.

I don't have much time right now, but I'll think about this and have a better formulated reply by this evening.

First, No, you do not have to take it. Zoe is out-of-control and this is YOUR home. I think there is *something* that is bothering Zoe, and I'm not sure what it is, but we'll see if we can help her join the family. Because of her moaning and yowling that preceeds her more violent outbursts, this is a very serious problem. IMO, she should NOT be behaving in this manner towards people at all. If she is 'blocking' a pathway you wish to walk, you may want to toss a small towel at her to make her move and/or say "Move it!" and clap your hands or stomp your feet to make her move. At this point, I also think I would use the squirt bottle as a 'move it' reinforcement. I do not *like* using squirt bottles on confused cats that are having problems, but her behavior is dangerous and it needs to be stopped.

I'll pop in later tonight...
heidi

 

I have been thinking of this all evening, and I must admit I am stumped. You are having to live your life around a cat who is behaving like a dangerous zoo or wildlife animal...never trusting it and trying to make it keep its' distance so it can't hurt you. What is puzzling, is she sometimes *does* like to have attention and at other times doesn't and/or quickly turns aggressive and reactive.

This is a home where the cat doesn't trust her people and the people don't trust their cat.
You don't need me to tell you how grave this situation is.

Logically, perhaps the first thing to suggest would be a vet visit to rule out any medical or pain issues. The next thing would be to suggest "feliway" defusers, these plug-in products emit a cat 'calming' pheromone into the air that works on the cats' brain receptors, telling it that everything is fine and it can sometimes help a cat relax enough to learn to enjoy their surroundings. There is another product called "rescue remedy" that has been shown to be effective, too. Finally, we come to socialization and handling...

This is where it is going to be difficult to explain. She needs to learn how to allow herself to be handled. She cannot learn this unless you handle her. This could become The Critical Issue; either she learns to accept it, or she doesn't and remains an unhappy and dangerous cat in your home...and I'm sorry to say it, but she would also be a liability for yourselves, guests and any possible children you may have.
I think, if *I* were approaching this problem, I would try to keep every experience with her a positive one. I know that is going to be difficult at first, but I think you need to find a way to make her yield to you without scaring her or making her get defensive. Not giving her an opportunity to attack. I think I would try very hard to make every experience something that includes me being "A Bringer Of Good Things". Basically: bribery. I am feeling very wary of asking you to physically handle her...but at the same time, I know that if she does not GET handled, she won't learn how to BE handled.
So...
Sturdy clothes to protect your body. Safety glasses if you think it could be *that bad*. Towel or blanket over your lap. When she allows petting and loving, I would slowly but firmly grab her and put her either next to me or on my lap, with her head facing AWAY from me. I would keep a scruff hold on her to keep her imobilized and/or under control and pet/rub her all over with my free hand. When I was done, I'd set her away from me and ignore her. No-big-deal. I would try to do that as often as I could. Some cats do *not* become imobilized with a scruff hold, and this may not work. If not, I really don't know what to suggest. Another difficulty is how you say she will attack if you reach for her and you may have a difficult time actually getting your hands on her to handle her.

Another method you could try, would be ignoring her. Completely. Make her *ask* for attention and stop giving her attention before *she* is ready for it to end. If she frightens or hurts you: yell! Let out a great big skelloch and say: "Ouch!", "That HURT you little booger!", "Stop it!". Maybe, when she starts in with her cat-moaning and yowling, YOU yowl right back at her. Or hiss! Cat's understand that a hiss means "leave me alone!", tell her to leave you alone in cat-language. Ignore her unless she is behaving nicely. Try "eye-blinks" to see what reaction she has. Try calmly 'humming' under your breath, like an "oh, ho-hum, hmm-emm-ummm-emm-hmmmmmmm". Sigh. The physical indrawn breath and relaxed body as you let out a sigh is a universal signal (body language) of non-threatening relaxation.

I am very sorry. I feel very inadequate trying to advise you through this situation, but I fear this is beyond me. I think it is going to require some delicate cat-reading, and that is something I can't do online or coach you on how to do. You may need to call in a cat behaviorist to come see the problem and make suggestions.
heidi

 

Thank you for putting so much time into helping us, Heidi. We will definitely go over this together and try as many of these ideas as we can. I'm not expecting some miracle cure-all from the internet, just some strategies to help us live better.

Luckily, Zoe has been a little better in the past day or two than she had been initially, and her slight progress leads me to believe that there's hope for her to change. Steve and I will try the things you have mentioned as we see fit and hopefully she'll make more progress.

Thank you again!

 

I hope she comes around, too. Please let us know how you're doing with her. You may find The One Thing that works and if you'd share it, it could help cat owners who come here with simliar problems. I know I'd enjoy learning something about how to handle kitties like this.
h

 

Heidi,
Please don't feel so guilty! We both knew from the get-go that Zoe was an unconventional kitty and, as such, would need some unconventional care.
The advice above will be VERY helpful in figuring out how we should deal with Zoe, and Shell and I can't even begin to express our appreciation for the care you seem to have in our case.
Right now we already have been mostly employing an "ignore" tactic. Today I made a habit of never meeting her eye, or occasionally meeting her eye, then slowly looking away while slowly blinking. It did seem to make some kind of progress. She did, a few times, come over purring to seek attention when she realized that it wasn't going to come to her.
However, tonight, briefly before I left for work, she did block a path and hiss, so I grabbed a nearby blanket, shook it, and yelled "Move it!". This caused her to flee underneath our bed. Again, not necessarily a desirable outcome, but it did establish that I'm the boss, showed her that hissing at us won't get her what she wants, and diffused a situation that could have ended with a scratched leg.
Shelley and I have already been discussing at great length on G-mail chat about how to proceed. The first priority is definitely to see a vet so we can find or rule out any medical problems. According to Shelley she hasn't been to a vet since she got her shots as a kitten, which was about seven years ago. Depending on the results, I will then look into the chemical solutions you suggested. Shell and I will head to a local thrift store to pick up some thick, ratty clothes to use as scratch-armor, along with safety goggles. (and possibly a football helmet, haha.)
Shelley tells me that getting a grip on Zoe's scruff has proven to be difficult, so I'm prepared to be a bit rough with her to keep my grip, even while she freaks out, screams, and scratches. I'm assuming that I should not wear gloves so that I can pet her with my bare hand? That would be fine, I'm just making sure. I'm confident that as long as I sufficiently protect my wrists and above, I can take any amount of scratching on my hands.
Just this morning I did stop by the local Wal Mart on the way home from work and picked up Cream of Chicken soup and some precooked chicken breast (along with another laser pointer to play with her, a soft cube-cave-bed that she hasn't yet warmed up to, and a squeaking mouse toy on a stick and a string that she turned out to be afraid of. I'll see if I can return it. ). I will start mixing your concoction so I can also try the bribery method to take her mind off of her territoriality when she decides to try and threaten us.
It's a slow night at work, so I've got all night to research local vets, along with the pheromones and other chemicals you suggested, so I can be as educated as possible about them.
You can be sure that we will stay consistent in the training, and I'm very committed to making sure that Zoe is a happy kitty who loves us!
Again Heidi, we can't express how much it means to us that you're taking such an interest in our case. We will be sure to return often (probably daily) and update you on Zoe's progress in this thread.

 

(and possibly a football helmet, haha.)

First, this made me LAUGH!...because I thought to myself, "Hmmm, you may want a Hockey Mask." 8O

Shelley tells me that getting a grip on Zoe's scruff has proven to be difficult, so I'm prepared to be a bit rough with her to keep my grip, even while she freaks out, screams, and scratches. I'm assuming that I should not wear gloves so that I can pet her with my bare hand? That would be fine, I'm just making sure. I'm confident that as long as I sufficiently protect my wrists and above, I can take any amount of scratching on my hands.

I've had three cats that were difficult to scruff. Mostly, it was because they would hunch thier head down into their shoulders and I couldn't get a good grip on them. If I could get a scruff hold *before* they "prepared themselves", then I had a hold of them. However, all three were *very* resistent to the idea of being restrained in this manner. Two (Blaze & Mister, both passed away) would turn into screaming-chainsaws and the third (LuckyDuck/Louie, currently about 5yrs old) just gets very reactive and swipes with his claws in self-defense.

Generally, if you can scruff the cat and keep their face and front claws pointed AWAY from you, you should not be in much danger. If the cat is facing you, the probability of them being able to latch onto your clothing/body and chainsaw climb right up your arms/torso/head is a dangerous probability. Gloves will be entirely up to you. I would maybe consider no glove on the scruff-hand for a secure hold and a thick glove on the petting hand, until you know how she will react. I just had to do 10dys of antibiotics and a tetanus shot when I frightened my former feral by man-handling her to prevent her escaping outside and I reached my hand down to scruff her too slowly and she bit me.

I think, probably the most dangerous aspect of this enterprise will be...once you've got ahold of her...how do you safely let her go? With my ferals, I always look for signs of relaxation and when I let them go, I deliberately set them away from me and *very* close to their 'safe cave' so they will want to go there and not think they need to attack me to make me back off. I think this is where handling Zoe is going to require delicacy and finesse. I'd work very slowly into the handling part with her. Once she is better about being initially handled, then you can work on the 'smother them with handling until it is no-big-deal' part of the process.

...and I would LOVE to hear about your progress. It isn't that I feel guilty, it is just that I feel I have no experience to share, and since I have no experience in this particular area, I feel unqualified to give advice. I think I will be learning as much as you both...

 

No problem. As long as you don't think that petting her with a gloved hand would have a different effect from petting her with human skin, I'll grab a leather glove to try and avoid any more scratches than are necessary. I'm also going to be making a doctor's appointment very soon for myself for an unrelated issue, so while I'm there I'll make sure that my tetanus vaccine is current, and I'll have my beautiful bride know to do the same, even though I plan on doing the handling until she calms down enough that it's no longer as much of a risk. I'd rather not put her in danger if I can do it instead.
I think the approach I'll take is to armor-up, then start ignoring her. I'll go about normal activities (playing videogames :wink: ) while wearing the heavy cloth and goggles, and with a towel in my lap, while humming gently and sighing exaggeratedly. If my nap yesterday morning after work was an indication, she should eventually come over to me to seek attention, which is when I'll strike, so to speak.
The scruffing thing itself is what's generating the most questions for me I'm afraid. I just want to make sure that I do it right when I finally attempt it.
You said slowly but firmly. If she sees my hand coming toward her and backs away, should I speed up and grab her? Do you think I have a chance of being faster than a cat with sleight of hand? I kind of think it's unlikely. I guess what you mean is to wait until I can get my hand on her back without her suspecting, in the course of normal petting, then grab? Do I lift her entire weight by the scruff to get her onto the towel on my lap, or do I try to pilot my other hand past her pointy, no-doubt-by-that-point-wildly-thrashing defenses to get my other hand on her belly to help lift?

Also, I wanted to ask about the humming you've been telling us to do. I understand that it's to be under-the-breath and quiet, but is there a certain pitch I should try to favor? I know that dogs react better to higher-pitched sounds, but does it matter for a cat? Should I just hum at a normal pitch for my voice, or should I go lower or higher than usual?

And one more: "Try 'eye blinks' to see her reaction" - does that mean to take a chance to look at her then use the slow blinks to divert the gaze, or does that mean some other technique?

I know I'm sounding a bit excessive with all the questions; but again, I'm just trying to understand as MUCH as I possibly can about the subject, and make sure that I know EXACTLY what it is I should be doing.

 

I'll answer from the bottom up...

Eye blinks: Catch their gaze and smile with closed mouth (no teeth ~ that looks aggressive and threatening at this point) so your eyes 'smile', too and just sort of casually slide your gaze away. Catch her gaze and slowly blink your eyes at her, and see if she will blink her eyes or casually look away. This is a body-language 'thing' for: I don't feel the need to watch you closely and I trust you enough to *not* watch your every move.

Humming: I just 'hum'? I sort of do it as a sigh...inhale and start out the humming in a slightly higher pitch and as I exhale I slowly sing-song hum 'down the scale' until I end in a long, drawn out and deeper toned hum at the end. You just don't want to end the humming on a high note, as that appears to be a question, and you want to convey calm, confident and relaxed.

Lifting: I believe only very small kittens should be lifted with only a scruff hold. As the kitten grows and weighs more, the pull on the scruff can damage and tear underlying connective tissue. To lift with a scruff hold, see if you can get the free hand under the cat's chest/belly to help support it. If the cat is clawing around, scoop the free hand under the buttocks to assist with the lift and that will also sort of control the back legs if you can grab them loosely with your hand and use your forearm under the rump to support the cat's weight.

Getting her in the scruff hold: This will be tricky. I think you need to do this when she isn't aware that is what you *want* to do. If she is set up to react, do not pursue it. You don't want to give her a reason to misbehave. Sort of setting her up for success and not falling into any of the pitfalls that will make her fail, like reaching for her when you see her backing away, ears flipping forward and back, looking around to see where she plans to escape to and/or moaning, growling or yowling.
My slowly-but-firmly is meant more of a don't dab your hand at her hesitently sort of thing; Do it, be matter of fact about it, and then be done with it. Try to make everything Not A Big Deal.
When I scruff my kitties, I like to begin my petting their head, slowly running my hand down their head to their neck/shoulder area and then scruffing. With Zoe, you may not have the opportunity to do this, and you may have to 'just grab' her any old way you can. I don't think that is ideal, but again...you can't get her used to handling if you don't put your hands on her.

How about, instead of moving right into handling right now...you work on trust. Give her the eye-blinks, hums and sighs... Offer to play with her, dragging strings, waving toys on wands/line and the laser dot. Offering bribe-treats. ...then once she is more comfortable about approaching you, then you could slowly work into the handling? The more I think about it, I am feeling that is probably the right way to approach her. Let her learn she can trust you both for Good Things, but also that if she gets out of line (yowling/growling) there will be consequences; "Move it!" and shaking the towel/blanket or using the squirt bottle to keep her from 'blocking' areas you need to walk through.

 

Okay, I'll work on those things first for a while before moving into handling. I guess when I get home I'll cook up some cream of chicken soup with chicken!

 

Good luck! ...and have some diced tomato and shredded cheese handy. That chicken mixture is GREAT in a flour tortilla! :wink

...and on that note, I need to do evening chores and put the kitchen to rights before I head to bed...
h

 

Hey there,
I chopped up some white meat chicken into tiny bits, mixed it into a can of cream of chicken soup, and slathered it on my hand, but Zoe was completely uninterested in it. I made sure that she wasn't in a bad mood or anything, and gently held out my hand while avoiding eye contact. She took a couple sniffs, groaned a bit, and backed away. Do you think it's because she doesn't trust me enough to eat out of my hand, or could she just not like cream of chicken soup?
A few minutes after that (and after rinsing the gunk off my hand) I did pull out a laser pointer and a wand toy, and she had a lot of fun playing. At least I have one way of bonding with her, but it would be nice if I could figure out a food that she absolutely can't resist so that I can coax her to eat out of my hand.

 

It sounds like she just isn't ready to be that close to people yet. :?
I am surprised she refused the chicken mixture, but what I find most telling is that she backed away and groaned. I *think* this 'groan' noise is probably more of a pre-yowl, done with the mouth closed and it indicates extreme discomfort, fear or anger. I don't think she could have been mad, and probably not in any pain...so that leaves fear or being extremely unsettled and frightened. I think you'll just have to work on trying to get her to enjoy things in your proximity. Feed her (canned meals?) and be in the same room. Try the chicken mixture on a plate and shove it close to her, but you stay in the same room as she checks it out and eats it. Same with little crunchy-treats like "Greenies". Over time have her need to come closer and closer to get those treats. You'll still need to watch her to evaluate what her comfort level is, but I think it is just going to take a lot of time to get through to her...

On another note...I was able to speak with Mitts & Tess via PM and she read through this thread and has offered to speak to some of her best foster people who work with kitties like this and get back to us. She said I was mostly on the right track, but felt I was missing some key areas (so I was *right* when I said I felt unqualified because I'd never encountered this!) and she would either relay the info or invite those people to join and offer their advice.

In the mean-time, here is a link to LittleBigCat's library of articles. Poke around and read the ones you think may apply, just for more tips and cat psychology.
http://www.littlebigcat.com/?action=library
Here is a link to MuttCats. You may also find something in their advice that works for you and Zoe.
http://muttcats.com/articles/taming_ferals.htm

 

Okay, I'll definitely read through the links you posted. Thanks!

The "groan" to which I've been referring, as you've said, doesn't seem to indicate anger. It does kind of indicate to me, in conjunction with reading her body language, that it's some kind of discomfort without necessarily full-on fear.
Probably the best way I can describe the noise using text is... imagine a high-pitched, rolled "R" like in the Spanish language, but with your mouth closed, and never too loud. If that's the same noise that you've been thinking of, then you're probably right.
Shelley has told me before that the noise is not always used in these contexts though, that it's kind of "Zoe's way of talking". I haven't witnessed this, but Shell says that Zoe will make the noise when she's perfectly content, just sitting without being bothered, often when Shelley's talking on the phone in the same room, to participate in a conversation as if Shelley were talking to her. (My above clause "I haven't witnessed this" doesn't mean that I doubt her, I only said that to emphasize that I can't quite sufficiently describe it since I haven't seen it first-hand.)
I do have the mixture in the fridge, so I'll put some on a plate and put it near her while I sit on the bed and play Pokemon or nap. I'll let you know what I observe.
As for the canned food you mentioned, Shelley told me that she has tried giving Zoe canned food, but her stomach wasn't able to handle it, so she vomited it up. That could be something to look into at the vet.
I made an appointment at a Petsmart vet tomorrow (oh wait... today) at 4PM, so we'll be able to find out if there are any medical issues bothering her that could add to the situation.

Oh, by the way, should I warm up the mixture in the microwave first or anything like that? I didn't know if most cats tend to enjoy warm food or cold better. She refused it cold, and I didn't try warm.

And one more question that Shell and I were curious about - when we leave the bedroom that we've closed Zoe into as her smallish area, does it tend to make an emotional difference on the cat whether we leave the light on or not? We've been turning the light off, assuming that it wouldn't make a difference since cats are nocturnal anyway, but I wanted to make sure in case it was something we should be doing differently.
Thanks!