i'm afraid i'll be no help at all because i didn't even know cats had patellas lol.
don't be a mess, it can't be helped. if you can't afford the surgery (and i would imagine it would be difficult for a lot of people to part with thousands for something like this that isn't life-threatening but uncomfortable--it would me) you just can't.
call the vet yourself. i'm sure she'll talk to you, i don't see why she wouldn't. ask her all those things. my vet gave me a pretty good website (that i've forgotten LOL--i'll get it again on monday) with tons and tons of useful information, and it isn't one of those ask-a-vet sites that charges you (and i wonder how valid a lot of their advice could be especially since they can't see the animal. maybe they use webcams, i have no idea).
also, don't let your cat gain weight. cut back on food, modify it, whatever, because it will only make the condition worse. it turns into a vicious cycle, just like with people. they get laid up, gain a lot of weight, that makes it hard to exercise, so they gain more weight, on and on.
if the vet isn't gung-ho on the surgery, i'd think there's a reason, so find out how uncomfortable this is. and the cat's already there, you can't worry about the past and not being able to afford expensive veterinary intervention. i wouldn't have my parents mortgage their house to pay for it if i were you, though. but i also wouldn't adopt any more pets until you're solvent, or in a better financial position.
that's all i got.
good luck. this doesn't sound like the most horrible problem in the world (for a cat). i'm sure it's upsetting but try not to let it get you down. just be good to niles and i'm sure he'll be fine.
don't be a mess, it can't be helped. if you can't afford the surgery (and i would imagine it would be difficult for a lot of people to part with thousands for something like this that isn't life-threatening but uncomfortable--it would me) you just can't.
call the vet yourself. i'm sure she'll talk to you, i don't see why she wouldn't. ask her all those things. my vet gave me a pretty good website (that i've forgotten LOL--i'll get it again on monday) with tons and tons of useful information, and it isn't one of those ask-a-vet sites that charges you (and i wonder how valid a lot of their advice could be especially since they can't see the animal. maybe they use webcams, i have no idea).
also, don't let your cat gain weight. cut back on food, modify it, whatever, because it will only make the condition worse. it turns into a vicious cycle, just like with people. they get laid up, gain a lot of weight, that makes it hard to exercise, so they gain more weight, on and on.
if the vet isn't gung-ho on the surgery, i'd think there's a reason, so find out how uncomfortable this is. and the cat's already there, you can't worry about the past and not being able to afford expensive veterinary intervention. i wouldn't have my parents mortgage their house to pay for it if i were you, though. but i also wouldn't adopt any more pets until you're solvent, or in a better financial position.
that's all i got.