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I'm so sorry my little Margaux baby. I don't know what happened last night. I knew you hadn't been feeling well for a while, but I thought we'd have another year together. You were in your bed sleeping when I left for dinner. I know you were still with me then, but when I came back 3 hours later, although you were still in your little bed, you were asleep forever.

Will you forgive me for not being here? Will you forgive me for not knowing that you were so close to leaving? If I had had any idea, I would never have left you alone. You know that, right? Were you trying to tell me that it was time, or that you were feeling miserable and that I should have rushed you to the vet right then? Did I miss your hints over the past week because I too busy? Was it out of sheer sadness that you died, because before we left for dinner, mommy and her friend were paying attention to Celia and not you? We thought you were sleeping, but maybe you just had your eyes closed but were listening to us with a broken heart.

More than anything in the world, I hope your last thought wasn't that I love Celia any more than I love you. That would just kill me Margaux. Mommy loved you so much, and she will always love you. I think you know that, but maybe you wanted so much for me to give you one last little kiss, the way mommy often did before she had to go out.

It took me a few minutes to go see you. You didn't wake up to come greet me. No matter how sleepy you were, you always woke up when mommy came home. You didn't come silently padding into the kitchen to stand right beside me, so I went to see what you were doing. You were in your bed, but your head was tilted over the side in such a funny way. I scooped you up and I knew, but you still felt warm, and I thought just maybe, something could be done to bring you back to me.

I hope you felt me stroking you, kissing your soft little head. It can't make up for what mommy didn't do for you. I can't ever make up for the times I got mad at you, for the times I was too busy to give you those chin scratches and those ear rubs that you loved so much. I couldn't bring back your sight after you went blind. I didn't realize then either, until it was too late, that something was wrong. You were so brave to adjust to a world that was entirely dark to you. I can't imagine what it was like for you to slowly not be able to see anymore, and to not know what was going on.

You were so brave, and you were so patient with mommy Margaux, even when mommy wasn't always patient with you.

Mommy is sending you chin scratches, cheek scratches, and ear rubs. I will send them to you every day, but I wish so, so much that you were here with me to enjoy them.

Goodbye my beautiful little Margaux bunny. I love you.
 

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OMG Patty...:'(
I'm balling my eyes out reading this...
I'm heartbroken for you...
But please, please don't blame yourself...
Margaux KNEW she was loved by you...
She choose her time, and it sounds like it was a peaceful one...

Hind sight, is always 20/20...and I think there are many of us that can, and do relate to that...I know I sure can...
I just don't know what else to say at the moment...
HUGE (((HUGS))) for you across the miles...
Sharon
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Patty, I am so very sorry. I know how much it hurts and I am crying with you. :(

Please don't blame yourself. You are a wonderful cat mom.
 

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Ohhhhh--
I feel so sad reading this--tears in my eyes,,,
I do not know what to say..

(((hugs))))):heart:heart:heart:heart:heart

so sad...
 

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I am crying along with you on this Day of Tears. I am so sorry that Margaux has crossed to the Bridge. I know how torn your heart is right now....how much guilt you are feeling...and how lonely your home feels. I also know it will take time for your heart to begin to heal...for you to remember all the good times with your beloved Margaux...but they will come...trust me. Margaux knew she was so fortunate to have you in her life and she gave you all her love all these years. She loved you and she will always be in your heart. Watch for her first rainbow from the Bridge. I've been talking to my Mocha all day today...and I shall ask her to look for your Margaux and help her transition to life at the Bridge. I am so sorry Patty....so very sorry....
 

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In tears reading this. I am so sorry. I have no doubt that Margaux knew that you loved her and that you didn't love Celia more than her. She knew you loved her. I am so sorry for your loss.
 

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Honey, I am so very sorry for your loss,...I too am sitting and weeping for you.
Dear friend, don't blame yourself...from my work I see that some people wait until their loved ones leave their side - and once they are alone, they finally let go and die. Others hold on until that one child is by their side.
Your beloved kitty may have chosen to have a private death. Open your heart to that possibility and trust that your sweet kitty knew how very loved she was! You are an amazing cat mama.
Gentle hugs and love to you. Holding your hand from afar
 

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Thinking of you

You gave Margaux a wonderful home, and so much love. She knew how much she was loved and she will always be with you. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

Judy
 

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Oh I am so sorry. It must have been such a shock. I did rush one of my cats to the vets and she died there in the middle of the night. Margaux died peacefully in her bed. And kindness and love is shown all during life, she knew you loved her and took care of her. Margaux RIP sweet girl.
 

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Oh, I'm so sad for you. Your kitty was sure of your love. I know how hard it is from my own experiences. Thinking of you.
 

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Oh God Spirite what a shock. I'm in tears here for you. I am not good with words, but just know we're thinking of you. Be kind to yourself, it's not your fault. She might have just chosen to spare you from being there.

Run Free Margaux
 

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Oh my goodness, Spirite... I am balling my eyes out reading this. I so wish you could've been there with Margaux as she passed so you didn't feel any guilt. PLEASE, please don't beat yourself up. Margaux passed away peacefully, in the comfort of her home that she so adored... with nothing but happy memories of you. I have no doubt she knew how much she was adored.

Please understand that most cats leave to die if they can... they don't want to be near their people... they usually want to be alone. Margaux probably knew it was time, and chose to let go when you weren't home.

I'm not going to lie, I am sitting here sobbing for you because I know the awful pain and the feelings of guilt. I just hope you know that Margaux knew how much you loved her, and she was able to pass away peacefully in her home... the way she, and any pet would want. Her body may have passed on when you got home, but there's no doubt in my mind that her spirit was present as you pet her and kiss her head.

Margaux is peaceful, playful, happy, healthy, and has her sight on the Rainbow Bridge. A huge virtual hug is coming from me right now... I am sending you so many positive thoughts, Spirite. You are such an incredible cat parent, and Margaux was so lucky to be able to live an incredible life with you, and end it on her own terms in the comfort of her home. Rest in peace, beautiful Margaux...

Mandy
 

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Oh, Spirite. I'm just in utter shock and my heart goes out to you. I've read your post over and over, and it's starting to sink in...I'm in tears as well.

I definitely know that Margaux was well loved, cared, and cherished. You were and still are an amazing kitty guardian, your words alone through your posts always revealed your patience, kindness, and empathy, so I'm very sure all your feelings were conveyed to Margaux just by your voice, behavior, and mannerism. Please don't ever doubt yourself. I hope you find peace and comfort in this most trying time. I'll be thinking of you.

Cyber hugs to you and Celia.
 

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Oh Spirite,
I am crying my eyes out reading your post. I am so so sorry for your loss. It must have been such a shock to find her. Try not to feel so bad, as 10C2D said hindsight is a wonderful thing. Margaux knew you loved her and gave her such a wonderful life. I am sure she took that feeling with her over the bridge and I am sure she fely you pick her up and snuggle her that last time.
Sending you big hugs from afar
 

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Huge hugs to all of you. I wish that I could thank you all individually, but it's hard to even read your posts right now. I'm just overwhelmed by your kindness and thoughtfulness. I know that, unfortunately, so many of you just know, and I also know how much courage it takes for you to read posts here.

I am very thankful that she seemed to go peacefully and that she was at home, in her favorite bed. That nasty, ratty, 13-year-old bed that she just wouldn't give up. I bought it when I adopted her, and I brought her to the emergency vet in it. She was still in it when I left. My little Margaux, I hadn't yet opened the box with your new bed in it. It's okay. I'll send it back. You probably would have hated it anyway, my stubborn little munchkin.

I so hope that she didn't suffer, and that she wasn't suffering for a long time and that I didn't know. The guilt and the regret are so, so hard. I know some of you feel that too.

I'm terrified to leave Celia. I've been checking on her every 20 minutes. From 7:30 to 10:30, I could barely breathe. I'm a little calmer now. Sending little scratches and ear rubs to my little Margaux bunny.
 
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