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Awww...I know just how you feel. I have a similar routine with Mocha each night. Because her favourite place was in bed with me, her urn is on my dresser with her pictures and her cat grass planter filled with her favourite toys. It is comforting....as I am sure Margaux's spot is for you. Someday we will be reunited with our babies.....until then....
 

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Discussion Starter #42
Hello my little Margaux bunny! It's been a very sad year for us here without you, though slowly, slowly, we're adjusting. Celia finally stopped spending every day perched on the back of the couch staring out the window looking for you. She stopped giving me those questioning looks, wondering why I still hadn’t brought you back home from wherever I had taken you. It was so hard to see her lose hope, but it was even harder to see her seem to accept that you weren't coming back.

But in the past week, I've let Mr. Casper in a couple of times (I know you don't like him very much, but it’s been really cold out, and you were always gracious – well, kind of - about letting him share your house). And I noticed that Celia runs to say hi. I thought it was strange, because she’s still afraid of him. Tonight, after sniffing him and running away, she was on the back of the couch again, giving me the accusing look again. I'm sure she thought it was you. It breaks my heart, but part of me is also happy, because it tells me that she remembers you, and that she still misses you.

Did you enjoy the tuna juice I left for you on Tuesday? That was the first time I’d made tuna since you left us. I tried once, a few months ago, but I realized that it would be the first time in 13 years that I’d be making tuna without you. I knew you weren’t going to come if I called “Margaux...mommy’s making tuuuuna! That means you get tuna juice!” You weren’t going to swish around my legs, give me head butts, and make your funny little mrrrmm noises. And that made mommy cry.

But tonight, mommy is making tuna again, in your honor, so you get lots and lots of tuna juice. :)

Somehow, I feel like you’re a bit lonely sometimes. I hope you’re not lonely, Margaux. Or sad. Please don’t be sad, Margaux. Mommy and Celia are right here. You’ll always be a part of our lives, my silly little munchkin. You know that, right? You know we'll always love you.

I'll send you your head scratches and ear rubs a little later tonight, ok honey bunny? That will give you some time to finish all the tuna juice and then take a nice nap. :)
 

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Hugs to you Patty. Your post made me cry. Margaux will always be with you and I know she feels your love. You are a wonderful mommy.
 

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Hugs Patty. I know exactly how sad this time of the year....today for you and tomorrow for me. I am hopeful our girls are at the Bridge together, comforting each other as they send their loves to us. I know how much your heart hurts....it will get easier and you won't ever forget her. That bond doesn't break....it merges into a new one. It took me a year to wash the floor where Mocha last slept....I just couldn't. Margaux will always be with you in spirit.....her love surrounds you!
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I'm am sure that you were a good Mom. Don't beat yourself up about the way it happened. Margaux died in a place where she was comfortable and loved. Blessings to you.
 

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I have to keep myself from bawling right now. Oh man.

It reminded me so much of my own lost kitties.. I found myself looking over at my sweet Scamper and my little kittens, all cuddled up next to me. Things like this remind me to be grateful for all of the tiny moments. I need to keep telling myself to treasure them all, good and bad.

You are such a wonderful mom. I know Marguax is able to feel all of the love and kind words you're sending to her. And thank you so much for sharing this post with us.
 

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Such a kind, sweet, heartfelt yet tearful tribute to Margaux. It's beautiful, like how your heart is still connected to hers despite her physical presence being gone from this world. You know Margaux like no other, Spirite, and she will always, always remember and appreciate you for it.

Warm hugs to you from Seattle.
 

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Sending hugs to you. That year seems to have gone so fast. Its a lovely post for her anniversary that you have written to her. I am sure she still knows how much she touches your life and vice versa
 

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This is terribly sad. I'm sorry for your loss but sorrier that you beat yourself up so much. That sweet girl knew love - even busy-ness love. You have nothing to feel bad about. Margaux passed in the place she loved best - on your bed.

angel with cat Jim Shore.jpg
 

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Patty, Big HUGS, across the miles...Margaux will always be with you in spirit, and in your heart.♡♡♡
Margaux knows how much she is loved, and she choose when to leave...
She was warm,and comfortable, and surrounded by everything that was familiar to her.
Sigh...Anniversaries are Bittersweet...
S.
 

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Discussion Starter #51
Thanks again, everyone, for your sweet words. I was trying to make my post cheerful, but I guess the sadness is still dominant right now.

All that talk about getting Celia a playmate...I looked at Margaux's picture (the one on top of the box with her ashes), a couple of months ago, wondering if she'd be ok with my bringing in another cat. I was surprised, honestly, to get the distinct, and very strong, feeling that she didn't like that idea at all. Then it made me smile: Margaux was always such a princess. How could I possibly be thinking about bringing another cat into the house? And not even a year since she'd left! When I looked at her pic again over the weekend, I didn't get the sense of her being regally offended but of her being a little sad at the idea. So no kitty, foster or otherwise, for now. I'll have to try to become a better cat so Celia can have a playmate. :)

I never even acknowledged DebS and MM's posts from July! I just don't like to look here too often. Everyone's kindness always makes me cry.
 
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