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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys so I’ve had my cat Toby, 5yr old male for about 2 years now and he is a really sweet guy. 2 months ago I moved into a studio flat from the 3bed I lived in previously and Toby has hated the change understandably. He has adjusted to the new space but seems completely discontent with the size and this has made him unbearably vocal even randomly throughout the night waking me up. I’ve tried ignoring him, making sure he has 2 cat towers, a tunnel, a box to climb in and my wardrobe to hide in, access to toys and the windows throughout the day, a walk in the evening followed by dinner and play. I’ve tried distracting him when he cries and I’ve tried rewarding his silence. Nothing works. I’m at my wits end and I hate to admit it but I’ve started scolding him when he does because at least it momentarily works. Also yes he has access to clean water and food plus a clean litter tray. I’m confident it isn’t health related as he will only cry at the door or at the windows (whether they are open or closed) or if he is following me around for pats. Please please please if you have any advice at all please let me know
 

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Please give him more time. Also, no more scolding or ignoring him. That will not improve anything. It will only cause him additional stress that he doesn’t deserve. You seem to have to have all the material things but are you spending time with him on the floor just being next to him. Spend more one on one time with him. Try brushing him. Find things that he enjoys doing. Look out the window together.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Please give him more time. Also, no more scolding or ignoring him. That will not improve anything. It will only cause him additional stress that he doesn’t deserve. You seem to have to have all the material things but are you spending time with him on the floor just being next to him. Spend more one on one time with him. Try brushing him. Find things that he enjoys doing. Look out the window together.
Hello, thank you for your advice. Yes I will stop scolding I know that it’s the last thing I should be doing. Sorry I didn’t make myself clear before, I mean simply ignoring his cries (otherwise spending time with him) instead of teaching him he will get attention when he exhibits that behaviour.

I already spend a lot of time with him that’s the thing, like mentioned we have our walk and play time and on top of that generally he will come and lie next to me while I’m watching shows or reading in bed at which time he gets pats and attention. He is an incredibly socially dependent cat and will gladly take as much as he can get.
 

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Thanks for responding and the clarification. Sounds like your doing all the right things. I also have an extremely needy little girl since it’s just me and her at home and no one else. I’m retired so I’m home most of the day. We play and spend the day together. The only time during the day that I have time for myself is when she is taking a nap and sometimes she wants me to lay down when she wants to a nap and she will sleep on top of me. I get so much love from her. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
 
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Thanks for responding and the clarification. Sounds like your doing all the right things. I also have an extremely needy little girl since it’s just me and her at home and no one else. I’m retired so I’m home most of the day. We play and spend the day together. The only time during the day that I have time for myself is when she is taking a nap and sometimes she wants me to lay down when she wants to a nap and she will sleep on top of me. I get so much love from her. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Awww she sounds like a little princess, she is very lucky to have you for a companion. Affectionate cats are just wonderful.

Quick update on the situation: I had work this morning which gave me a chance to catch my breath. For context the biggest point of contention is him crying at the door, firstly crying to have me open it so he can look outside and secondly crying when it’s open because he wants to go outside (he does the same for blinds on windows being closed and windows themselves being closed at night time). I thought this afternoon to try some positive reinforcement again but instead of my usual go about my business while trying to teach him not to cry (resulting in me losing my patience and giving in one way or another) I would dedicate a full session. So I’ve been waiting for silence to open the door and once open the second he cries instead of scolding I silently go and close the door, only opening again once he is silent. It’s been about 1.5hrs straight of continuously doing this with him only getting idea on the very last few goes but the door has been open for about 20mins now (record time) and he is quietly sitting on the bed.

So far so good, I’ll keep posted on the overall success over the next few days but fingers crossed.
 

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That’s great news. Its so interesting to find ways to work things out. Keep up the good work you’re doing.
 
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