[thewebbmeister]

I have been seeing a marvellous girl for about two months now, and things are going great. Just one problem. Her cat! Now, don't get me wrong, I love animals. In fact, me and my mum have a dog & love her to bits. The difference is, that our dog knows her place in the hierarchy. However, my girlfriends cat does not. My girlfriends 7 year old cat is the boss. Now I am staying over some nights and “stealing” his place in the bed he doesn’t like it, which is fair enough I guess, because he has been trained to think that the bed is his sleeping place.

The problem occurs when the cat is in the room in the early hours of the morning. He starts walking around the room, doing his dripping tap impersonation and scratching himself. Then when sleep finally comes he leaps on to the pillow, next to my head & scares the **** out of me. I put him on the floor, but 10 mins later he is up again. Obviously I cannot sleep through this carry on! On a couple of occasions, when I have been awaken and felt particularly out of sorts, I have slept downstairs with the door shut to get some peace

If you close him out of the room, then he cries to get back in. He even cries outside the door at 5am because he’s “too scared” to go downstairs on his own & she has to accompany him. (No I’m not kidding) I have told my girlfriend that he should get into a routine of going out at night like 99% of other cats do, but she says it’s too cold for him. & There’s me thinking that cats are built for survival.

So, Questions
1). What can be done so that he is happy to quietly occupy 80% of the house during the night & we’ll make do with the other 20?
2) Is it really cruel to put cats out at night? I mean if it's raining, don't they aways find somewhere cosy to shelter?
3) How does she re-establish the correct hierarchy with her cat?

The only other option I can see, is for me not to stay over on an evening, but when I suggested that I got my head bitten off!!! meow

HELP!!!
P.

 

[AddFran]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I understand your frustration here...but I think it's going to take some patience on your part to come to a middle ground.

I have to agree that is not fair or SAFE to have an indoor kitty suddenly put outdoors at night. They are not used to the environment, have not had to protect themselves for other animals and it's just not nice. This cat is 7 years old, that would be a huge upset to be put outside. And if you think the crying from the bedroom door is bad, wait until you hear it from outside the window!

Dogs and cats are very different, while I've always considered myself a dog person, I have to say that you can not compare the two. Cats make their own rules, they do understand the hierarchy - he's the boss. You said it already!

If your girlfriend is willing to make some changes for the benefit of your relationship, she's going to need to establish a pattern for her cat. If he's not going to be allowed to sleep in the bedroom, that's her right to keep it that way, but it'll have to be all the time and not just when you are spending the night. Otherwise, the cat will never learn the rules. And, quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't learn to put two and two together and realize that when you were around, he gets the boot!

She's going to have to decide if she wants to do that though. Unfortunately, for you, I think you do have to keep in mind that the cats been there for 7 years and you are invading HIS space! :wink:

Maybe...after some more time...you'll get to be more comfortable with one another and you won't mind so much that the cat is sleeping with you?? My boyfriend had always been a dog person and we combined households with his rottie and my cat...it took some getting used to, but we always had to keep in mind that they don't really understand what's going on and it's not fair to rock their world too much!

Needless to say, the man that was somewhat annoyed with a cat in his bed, now sleeps with a cat between his legs or on his chest most of the night...and even calls her into the room now before closing the door to go to sleep for the night. :lol:

 

[thewebbmeister]

Hi there thanks for the reply. I didn't make it clear in my original post but the cat isn't an "indoor kitty" he likes to pick and choose what evenings he goes out. I wish I could lol.
I'm a pretty light sleeper and pretty sure i couldn't get used to a cat moving about in the bedroom.
Just don't know what to do.
I think it could be a bit of a stalemate.

 

[AddFran]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that the cat already spends time outdoors and overnights.

If that's the case, provided that weather isn't a factor, I don't find it unreasonable to request that he not be in the bedroom at night. He obviously doesn't spend every night there anyway.

Though, be careful of your approach. You don't want the gf to think you don't like her cat or to feel like you are picking on him. That will not work out in your favor! :wink:

 

[Zalensia]

Could you put a nice cat bed in the bedroom, or a pillow on the floor? something nice and soft for him to sleep on?
I put a couple of old pillows on the floor besides the bed, altho some of my cats still come on the bed.

Also bear in mind what addfran has said, the crying outside the window on a wet night can be even worse.
Altho I know how you feel when they jump on you in the middle of the night, one of my cats has a habit of coming in thru the open window at night, and lands on my feet, and it scares the crap outta me even worse when they have wet feet!

If you leave him on the bed wouldnt he just go to sleep? they soon learn to move when you roll over.

 

[thewebbmeister]

Im 99.9% sure he wouldn't want to sleep on a blanket on the floor. Im my limited experience, cats are nocturnal animals and he seems to wants to wander around at night, knocking things off the bedside tabe for attention etc.

Addfran, I dont really understand what you mean by "weather not being a factor?" I know neighbours cats that go out at night all weathers. period. Do you think I should call the RSPCA? I thought that cats always found somewhare cosy to shelter? Like I said, cats are built for survival, are they not?

As for keeping the cat out of the bedroom, how long do to you think it would take before he becomes acustomed to this? ie. how long must I wear ear plugs for?

Zalensia, you must be constantly knackered to have a cat waking you up whenever it sees fit. you have my sympathy. But why inflict that on yourself?[/quote]

 

[Zalensia]

yes cats are naturally nocternal, but this can be changed, which is why I have the pillows on the floor, im not constantly woke up because I keep them active in the day and they sleep at night.

 

[thewebbmeister]

Hi Zalensia,
The problem is, my girlfriend is out at work from 7:30 to 6:30, so she doesnt have chance to keep him active.

 

[AddFran]

What i meant was that weather should be considered in whether or not she lets the cat sleep outdoors. It is dangerous for cats to be out in incliment weather. This is a domestic animal not a leopard or panther, ya know?

As for the cat getting used to the idea of being out of the bedroom...i'm not exactly sure how long that will take. I guess it depends on how persistant the cat is. Good luck though.

 

[AddFran]

I'd suggest getting him a playmate, because they often keep each other VERY busy, but at 7 years old and him being by himself, he make not take to kindly to that.

 

[Loving_My_Cats]

I have 9 cats. They always jump on bed at night. I get woken up a lot. But if you LEAVE the cat on the bed instead of putting it on the floor, it may curl up and goto sleep. My cats like to sleep on pillows. I just move over and make room.Then go back to sleep. A lot nicer then putting it outside when it don't want out.

 

[KittyEnvy]

I am constantly being woken up in the middle of the night. My brother's cat, he comes into my room every night between 4-5am to wake me up. He tells me he wants to go outside. (He's an indoor-outdoor cat). Now why he chooses me to wake up, I don't know, the rest of the day he doesn't give me the time of day. If I close the door he claws at it and yowls - if I ignore him he jumps onto the windowsill above my head and falls ONTO my head (he's not the most dexterous) and stands on my dresser and yowls. But if you put him out at the start of the night, he finds his way onto the roof (!!) to MY window and sits outside yowling. You just can't win.

My solution: tell brother to KEEP his cat IN his room all night. Angel won't wake him up (??). Sleeps all night on the pillow beside him. But if the door's open a crack... back up to my room. I just don't get it.

Good luck. :?

 

[thewebbmeister]

I slept at home last night, and had a great nights sleep with no interruptions. Maybe earplugs are the answer.

 

[22Raiynee22]

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welcome to the wonderful life of the cat lol they can think they own the world :lol: I dont have any advice since you said you were a light sleeper, i'd say just let the kitty have sum of your pillow, maybe he/she just wants to share with you lol

 

[TAsunder]

I tried ear plugs but they didn't seem to stop my cat rubbing me with his face from 4am to 6:30am. Not much did... the closest thing is when I come home late, like midnight.

 

[Gabreilla Moushigo]

All of my cats have done the same - I am also a light sleeper - so I know your pain. Here is my solution: before I go to sleep - I let him lay down above my head on the pillow - he goes to sleep - I go to sleep - problem solved. If you try to move them everywhere - they get huffy - and they DO knock things off counters and jump all over you and are general hellions. As long as you don't mind a little fuzzy sleeping above your head - you should be fine.

 

[Loving_My_Cats]

I slept at home last night, and had a great nights sleep with no interruptions. Maybe earplugs are the answer.

No offence but you seem to have a thing against the cat. I am sure it's been sleeping on the bed as long as it's been there. It's used to it. For a new 'man' to come along, put it off the bed.. i'm sure the cat is getting mad, and maybe why it knocks stuff over. As I already said, as others.. just let it sleep on your pillow. Don't move it, and things should be good!