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Discussion Starter #1
Here's an overview of my cat family. Jett, the ginger, is 5 and came from the shelter around 6mo of age, fully socialized and fixed. He has no bad behaviors and loves me. Junior, a male color point, joined my home 6 months ago. He was around 6-8mo old at the time and was found in the parking lot at work. He's healthy and I had him fixed. He also shows some affection to me but doesn't like being held, and he made friends quickly with Jett. They don't sleep together but they play and groom and share 1 litterbox with no behavior problems at all. Now Shadow.. I took her in 2 weeks ago. She was found at my apartment complex and started following me, rubbing on me, sitting in my lap, etc. After taking her inside, I found she was pregnant. She is quite young and small. She lost the babies (stillborn premature) and otherwise healthy. I kept her isolated for several days until I felt they could get along together.

Now, all 3 of them are mostly able to be together and be civil but I am very concerned about aggression toward her at times. I can't figure out what is causing it and need help in solving it. I did add another litter box. Many times they can be seen sitting close to each other quietly and things seem to be good but aggression flares up. BTW, I did buy a Feliway diffuser so will see how that works.

Well I think Junior is mostly the one who is getting aggressive toward Shadow. He stalks and tries to attack her at times. In fact, I watched him ambush her coming out of the litter box which led to a scream, hiss, and a standoff. This worries me because if she doesn't feel safe going to poop there she may do it elsewhere. There are 2 boxes and they do it at both. The boys never ever tried to ambush each other at the litter box and they both shared one box. This morning the boys cornered her in the bathroom and I ran in when I heard a scream...it appeared to be Junior again and she was hunkered down in fear.

On the other hand there's Jett. He does not appear to attack; he has gotten right up to her face to sniff her nose but he seems to be more afraid of her than anything! He watches her all the time...its a bit creepy how he's always staring at her. Sometimes he'll walk around her very slow, looking over his shoulder, and go watch her from 30 feet away. They do sit close together at times but they don't play with each other. Frankly I'm not sure if she even knows how to play. While she is fully socialized with humans she may have been in a home with no other animals and she might consider an overture to play as an attack and she hisses. Then Jett walks slowly away. She's still affectionate with me, and so is Jett, but when I touch her she jumps. I think she's still scared.

I'm not sure what I can do. Its becoming more clear with time that Junior (the color point) is the one being aggressive with the much smaller female whereas he wasn't aggressive with Jett. I wonder if it was just Shadow and Jett would they be more at peace? And also would spaying change how they treat her? I wouldn't be opposed to re-homing Junior. Jett has always been attached to me and isn't going anywhere and of course Shadow chose me. Lately she has been licking me...cat grooming, which is reserved for those with a strong relationship in the feline world so I would like to keep her but I'm starting to worry about her safety.
 

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It may take a while for them to get along. It's normal for Junior to be aggressive, or maybe he's just playing?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Well, he and Jertt do play rough but its usually wrestling-like and not an ambush at the litter box. Yesterday she was sitting inside the litter box and wouldn't come out because Junior was waiting so I had to intervene and move him. She was still scared.
 

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Jett may just have a dislike to Shadow....this can happen.....it may be because she's not spayed and is starting to come back into heat. Females can be in heat soon after kittens., If I were in your position I would get her spayed ASAP, keep away from other 2 for 3wks until she's recovered from her spay surgery, and then gradually re-introduce them under supervision. If Junior still continues with his aggressive behavior toward her, it could be he just doesn't like her and enjoys making her life miserable. If that happens I would be inclined to let Junior go to a new home, maybe as an only cat. A lot of people like color-pointed cats. Hope you'll give us an update. All the best!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I have an appointment at a clinic that offers low priced spay services but they told me it would have to be early December. So after the surgery I really have to keep them apart for that long? Shadow is not really too physically active - she doesn't run and jump much and definitely won't let the boys touch her so no wrestling play. Earlier today before work I intervened once when they cornered her in the bathroom but she was apparently ok with them for 9 hours. When I came home they seemed to be at peace, just lots of meowing together for their evening meal! Junior actually tried to sniff her butt while Jett sniffed her nose and she didn't flinch.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
One odd thing I've noticed change is their eating habits. The boys have had kibble & water out all day and get 1 can each at night. They graze on the kibble and every couple days or so the bowl would be empty. They drank some from the water bowl too. And when i give them a can of food, it would take almost 12 hours for the bowls to be emptied. Jett has eaten the same kibble for 4+ years and Junior for 6 months. Now adding the black cat, the kibble bowl hasn't gone empty in almost 2 weeks. I know they're eating it, just very little. Same for the water. But its not for lack of hunger. At night when I come home they are all over me for food. I put out 3 cans now instead of 2, and instead of 12 hours they're all emptied in around 4 hours. They eat every last bit. So why suddenly are they abandoning their long time dry food when the 3rd cat was added? I expected to have to refill the bowls more frequently, not less!
 

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Could be when you aren't home they're sleeping most of the day? Then they're more active when you are there in the evening, and feel more confident. Just as well as they're not getting as much dry food as it isn't really suited to an "obligate carnivore". Here's a couple of good links on good nutrition for cats and why dry food can lead to health problems:

Feeding Your Cat | Cornell University College of Veterinary ...
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Update with one change: their eating habits. As I posted above, starting when the new black kitten came in, they all barely touched food and water except for the cans at night and this went on for more than 2 weeks, almost 3. Well, a couple days ago it suddenly changed. The food and water bowls were completely empty! I filled it, and they keep eating/drinking. Its like it was before, only more now with 3 cats eating it. Their eating came back to normal just like that. But as far as the other, they still treat her differently and try to corner/attack at times so I am still at a loss. she never runs and hides, and at other times she sits close to the others (usually if I'm around).
 
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