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Hello, all. I have always had cats growing up but I have never adopted a cat that wasn’t a kitten before. Our new cat Eva is a 2 year old dilute tortie and we have had her for about a month. She was eager to explore our apartment and now seems very comfortable in it. She rubs her scent on her favorite box, sleeps on her tree, and loves to play with her toys. The thing is, she hasn’t seemed to have gotten used to my boyfriend and I just yet and I want to get your opinion on if this is normal since she is a rescue. Like I said in my intro post, she was abandoned at the shelter by her previous owner. She lets us pet her and will lay down and show us her lil belly but remains skiddish. Like when we walk towards her when she’s sitting she will move away as if we were heading over to do something to her. And she never rubs her scent on us like she does with her box. Other than us petting her and her liking that, there hasn’t really been any affection from her towards us like I’ve gotten from cats in the past. Maybe she is just an aloof kitty?

Also, she had slept with us at the foot of our bed for a few days after about a week, but now she only sleeps out in the living room and I have no idea why that changed.

In short, I was wondering if it’s normal for rescue animals to take longer to get 100% comfortable in a new home and if it could maybe just be her personality. My boyfriends dad said one of their cats didn’t cuddle or show affection to until after a whole year.
 

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I think the reasons you give in your post are all true.....new home, new owners, her personality. Dilute torties can be very sensitive to changes ....As a Manx breeder, I had one retired dilute tortoiseshell female that I sold to an a lovely lady, but after 4mos. at her new home she still would not come out from under the bed except to eat and use the litter box. She made no attempt to be friendly with her new owner. She had been one of my prime breeders and show girls, but after she got her Ch. she was retired to raise kitties for a few years. She had always been friendly to me and other family members and showed well for the judges, so it was a puzzle to me that she didn't want to be friendly to her new owner, so I took her back. She went back into the shows and got her Grand Champion at the age of 5yrs. and I kept her for the rest of her 18 yr. old life. She decided she didn't want to be anywhere else but in her original home since she was born. So it could be your cat's personality, but you can try to win her over with lots of loving and treats. Grooming is very good bonding exercise as well as keeping your cat well groomed, so I would get your girl used to that if she isn't already with a polished steel comb, and a brush (if she's shorthair). Start slowly with her cheeks and work your way gradually over the rest....avoid the tummy, or any area where she tells you she's not wanting you to touch. If she's resisting, stop. Always finish with a treat, and your cat should look forward to a daily grooming and become more bonded with you.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thank you for your advice! She definitely likes being brushed so I will try to make it more of a routine. I know the change has been her biggest problem, so hopefully in another month or two she will show more progress as she has in this first month.
 

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It takes time for cats adopted over 1 year to relax. My first love Dizzy I got at 4 months and he stuck to me for over 14 years. VERY affectionate from the start. My new guy is Charlie and he has sloooooooooooooowly but surely shown more trust. He's no cuddlebug-maybe he never will be but he is being more outward in his affections after 6 months. I always try to put myself in the cats'position- how strange it is here, will it last here, etc. I look to see how he reacts and give him plenty of space. Cats will show their personalities over time and even change like we do. 2 things I have done and seen results from are treat reinforcement and PLENTY of play.
Bottom line it takes time and patience but the payoff feels great when it happens. Good Luck!
 

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Yea I also try to put myself in her position. Like I have no idea what her prior home life was like, how long she was at the shelter, etc. so I know I have to let her go at her own pace. I’ll definitely post updates on her behavior in a couple months or so. Thanks!
 
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