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Discussion Starter #1
Hello-

I adopted a male tabby cat, 2 years old from the shelter. He had been front declawed by his previous owner (I would never declaw a cat myself, but declawed cats need homes too). He seems to be adapting really well to his surroundings, follows us throughout the house, loves being petted and the first night he even slept by our feet on our bed.
He is a very sweet cat. My only concern is that he seems very opposed to sitting on our laps or getting too close to us (he will sit next to us on the couch sometimes, but won't come near us when we are in our bed). This is very hard for us as we have both grown up with very cuddly pets.
I understand that this has a lot to do with their temperment and some cats just aren't lap cats, but does anyone have any advice of what I could try to get him to trust us? Am I rushing in too quickly and expecting too much from him too soon? Thanks for your help!
 

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I see from your other post that you only adopted him a few weeks ago. It will take time and, as you say, some cats just aren't lap cats, so he may never feel comfortable on your lap. Then again, he might come around in time. You won't really know unless and until it happens.

I adopted Muffs when she was about 12 weeks. She's a Ragdoll, and Ragdolls are reputed to be lap-cats. Yet, Muffs hates laps! She is now almost 2 years old and she has yet to sit in my lap...although I keep hoping... :)

However, she has become much more affectionate over time. It used to be that I couldn't pick her up or pet her, and she would never (or rarely) sleep with me. These days, I can pick her up for about 30 seconds and she now enjoys being petted. She will often sleep with me in bed at night and has started to join me on the couch when I occasionally take a nap in the afternoon on weekends.

I would just enjoy your new little guy for who he is right now. Play with him, pet him if/when he lets you and just bond with him overall, but don't try to force him to do something he's not yet comfortable with. You don't know how he was treated by his former owner (I assume) and that could affect his current behavior. With lots of love, over time he will learn to trust you and, with a bit of luck, perhaps he will also become more affectionate and cuddly.
 

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Thanks for the advice, Susan. He actually loves to be petted, sleeps in our bed every night and doesn't mind being carried for short amounts of time. I just get frustrated when he won't sit on my lap, but I guess I will just have to be patient.

Littlecritters- it is VERY cruel and like I said I would never put a cat through that, but I was inclined to adopt a front declawed cat mainly because I have very nice, new furniture that I feared would get destroyed and like I said before, declawed cats need homes too.
I almost feel like he doesn't realize he doesn't have claws. Could this be possible? he loves going up to the side of our couch and paw away at it. I'm considering getting him a carpeted, soft scratching post because he seems to enjoy it so much.
 

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Cats scratch for many reasons, which include just stretching their muscles. In addition, they have scent pads in their paws and when they scratch, they leave behind scent markers. So, it's not uncommon for declawed cats to scratch (or try to scratch) for these reasons. If you do get him a soft carpeted post, make sure it's very tall, so he has the benefit of a full body stretch.
 
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