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Discussion Starter #1
I have a 4-5 month old male Siamese (neutered). He really likes to "nip & bite". It seems like it is done in play but he does go overboard with it. The only thing that makes him stop is when I yell "NO". He then ceases and stops.

He tends to be more aggressive with my wife and he tries to bite in ways he would never try to do with me. My wife does spend less time with him due to her work schedule.

The question I have is if he will grow out of this phase? What else can be done? Is his stronger aggression to my wife due to her spending less time with him? My wife and I discussed that if he continues to act this way when he is 1 year old, we cannot tolerate it and would have to give him away to someone else.
 

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Yoshi does the same thing....although it's been getting better.

He does it more to my boyfriend, who (like your wife) doesn't spend as much time with him. Yoshi is not really bonded with him like he is with me. Plus, I think he picks up on negative vibes my man gives off (I know I do!).

What I do when he does start to bite me is get up and walk away....completely ignoring him. I don't even yell at him. They say that any attention you give them when they behave badly is attention none the less...which is what they are looking for.

Yoshi is a little older than yours (he's about 7 months now). But as I stated, his biting has gotten MUCH better over the past several weeks. I think it's been a combination of him finally losing his baby teeth, getting neutered, and simply becoming more mature.

Also make sure that your little one has plenty of appropriate things to bite and chew.
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited by Moderator)
He has PLENTY of toys to chew on, that is for sure. I hope that his biting/nipping decreases with age.

One thing for sure is that he is much more aggressive with his play biting with my wife than he is with me. He knows that I do NOT tolerate that and he will not try it with me as he does with her.
 

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This might sound crazy but have you thought about getting another kitten his age?

Our 2 kittens play extremely rough with each other. Man they tear each other to pieces some days (in play) but have never been aggressive at all to humans, they melt and are gentle as lambs when they are picked up.

Having a playmate will help him work out his aggression and learn appropriate manners. Nothing worse then playing with your best kittie buddy and they turn and walk away because your too rough. It sounds like the play is he showing is extremely normal for his age towards a litter mate. He doesn't have a feline buddy to show him the ropes.
 

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If you watch this video of our kittens, you will notice some behaviors I am sure your kitten is showing towards you and your wife. Our 2 kittens get much rougher then this!!! There are times they take flying leaps off of the couch to dive bomb the other lol


But you can see how 2 young cats play and learn from each other. He is wanting to do that with you as he doesn't have a cat buddy to beat up lol

So he is doing what any and every 4 month old kitten does. He is very normal. My kittens have tons of toys but they are hands down each others favorite toy.
 

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Maxie was a playful biter (and hard too!)... instead of using a spray bottle on her (as they say that a kitty thinks thats a form of agression) I sprayed myself. Putting it on my bare feet really helped. Instead of biting, nipping.. she licked. She's really nice about my feet now. Hope if works if you want to try it.
 

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A while back we tried to explain that spraying a kitten in the face would cause it to be mean in the future. I don't think he was ready to take that suggestion serious so I was trying to help in any other way possible.

She is correct however, a kitten who is sprayed in the face will become more aggressive. Aggression creates aggression.
 

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OH yeah.. you are going to need another cat. Francis did the same thing too, not to my sister but to me and my twin sister as well like everyday. Then he stopped when Vinnie came.
 

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Rocky is 1/4 blue lynx Siamese, and when he was little(he will be a year this month), after being pet for too much or just all of a sudden he would nip either my husband or myself. After being neutered at 5 1/2 months, and allowing his hormones to deplete for a month or two post, he actually became an even more loving and sweet kitten. He was always very lovable, social, sweet, playful, but i absolutely hated the nipping! He also wouldn't let me hold him or for hardly any time, he would absolutely freak out. After much time and much patience, he allows me to hold him like a baby, and he absolutely loves it and looks up at me like he loves me :) But, now that he's about to be a year old, he VERY rarely nips me; although, with company, he's more keen on nipping them if they pet him too much or if they're a stranger to him. He's an absolute doll with me, but i think that's because i'm mama to him :)
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I sprayed myself.
:yikes

That is something I will NOT do, spray myself.

I don't think he was ready to take that suggestion serious so I was trying to help in any other way possible.

She is correct however, a kitten who is sprayed in the face will become more aggressive. Aggression creates aggression.
I appreciate the advice. Sometimes I agree with your views, other times not. Just like in the human world, there are ALL types of "expert opinions" on what works with child discipline and what doesn't. Each expert argues with the other. Each one has a PhD behind their name and claims to know all, yet they differ in many areas.

Just did a search on Soy Milk and you have experts telling you that drinking it is bad for mens health. Other experts say it is good for your health. You can spend all day reading and your head would be spinning with the contradicting reports. Just like the coffee studies, one week it is bad for you, the next it is good for you.

The point of all of this is that some things work with some cats, other things don't. Some of the things I read here on this forum border on some type of new age animal wacky world view. Some stuff is just so far out there, it falls into the realm of bizarre animal fetish.
 

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Thats fine, honestly physical punishment is an extreme touchy subject with me so I tend to go off due to it :wink

I am not against discipline but it has to fit the crime and make sense.
Example .. if my 2 sons are fighting and hitting each other, if I smacked them both in the head and said, "Hey knock it off we don't hit in this house" they would look at me like I am insane lol

using physical punishment to treat aggression is the same thing.


Did you see my video? Is your kitten showing alot of the same aggressive behaviors? If so there is a good chance he is just under socialized.

Here is a silly example to what I mean. If a pack of wolves raised a human infant .. that infant would not know how to socially interact with anything. The child would need a human to teach them social skills as the child is not a wolf. If your kitten hasn't gotten the socialization he needed, he doesn't know how to behave socially or have mannerly cat behavior. In most cases the mother cat shows them but some cats are taken too young from mama or needed to stay longer to learn proper manners.
It doesn't mean all or anything is lost on your kitten. He will most likely grow up and outgrow it all. If you adopted another kitten his exact age, within a few weeks, that kitten will be his teacher and his playmate.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thats fine, honestly physical punishment is an extreme touchy subject with me so I tend to go off due to it :wink

I am not against discipline but it has to fit the crime and make sense.
Just read a post where one cat owner is recommending the other cat owner to give their cat Prozac. :fust

It's not enough that we are over-medicating our children but now we are resorting to giving psychological mind-altering drugs to our cats.

What's next, having our cats see a psychiatrist? Wait, they are already doing that also. :fust

All this ties into with discipline/training a cat. You have two training extremes but I believe the right place is somewhere int the middle. Positive reinforcement with the occassional negative/discipline reinforcement when they are bad.

Spraying myself with water, taking my cat to a psychiatrist and giving Prozac to my cat is something I would NEVER do.

Some people don't know where to draw the line between a cat and a human being.
 

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Here's what I've been doing. I'm not sure it's the correct way of doing anything, or if it will cause bad behaviors later, but I've been having this same problem. I read somewhere that mother cats will hold their kittens by their scruffs when they are misbehaving...so that's what I've been doing. Nothing else has really worked, and I can't afford to take on another kitten, so perhaps see if that works. Thus far, it has helped some. Every time Finnick attacks my legs and feet, I grab him by the scruff and hold him down until he calms down. Not roughly, mind, just enough so that he cannot escape. I leave him there for a few seconds and then release. I then give him a toy to play with instead. After just a day of doing this, he has reduced the amount of times that he has attacked my legs and his aggression level (basically, how hard he's biting and scratching) has reduced as well, so I'm assuming that he is learning that it's a no-no to attack people. I've seen people do this for dogs, and although dogs and cats are different, maybe they are similar enough in this aspect? I'm not sure, but that's my suggestion. Hope you can find a solution and let us know what works. :)
 

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Spraying myself with water, taking my cat to a psychiatrist and giving Prozac to my cat is something I would NEVER do.

Some people don't know where to draw the line between a cat and a human being.
No reason to go through all that trouble. When you can't fix a problem with physical punishment it's easier just to toss them outside and let them fend for themselves. Putting them down costs money so you could always just shoot them yourself or poison them. Much easier.
 

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I read somewhere that mother cats will hold their kittens by their scruffs when they are misbehaving...so that's what I've been doing.
You can add a deep, growling "no"

From what I've read, physical punishment can result in a skittish cat that fears you and not trust you. - not what you want
 

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I was probably the owner of the prozac cat you are talking about. She was rubbing herself bald and making sores. I had taken her to the vet several times and nothing we did seemed to work. As a last effort he put her on kitty prozac. The behavior stopped. Dont be so quick to judge others.
 

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Just read a post where one cat owner is recommending the other cat owner to give their cat Prozac.

It's not enough that we are over-medicating our children but now we are resorting to giving psychological mind-altering drugs to our cats.

What's next, having our cats see a psychiatrist? Wait, they are already doing that also.

Some people don't know where to draw the line between a cat and a human being.
Way to be judgmental and snarky.

Gigi was on "kitty prozac" as a last resort. It was vet-supervised. It didn't really help, but I know several people who have had good luck with using it on cats and dogs to curb inappropriate behavior, whether it was overgrooming, aggression, etc.
 

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Just read a post where one cat owner is recommending the other cat owner to give their cat Prozac. :fust

It's not enough that we are over-medicating our children but now we are resorting to giving psychological mind-altering drugs to our cats.

What's next, having our cats see a psychiatrist? Wait, they are already doing that also. :fust

All this ties into with discipline/training a cat. You have two training extremes but I believe the right place is somewhere int the middle. Positive reinforcement with the occassional negative/discipline reinforcement when they are bad.

Spraying myself with water, taking my cat to a psychiatrist and giving Prozac to my cat is something I would NEVER do.

Some people don't know where to draw the line between a cat and a human being.
You quoted me so I am going to guess you were referring to my not wanting to beat, spray, use a shock collar or kick my cat when it does something wrong. I don't think I asked you or anyone to give their cat anti anxiety drugs nor see a psychiatrist. Those are reserved for cats who grew up in abusive homes and need drugs to deal with the trauma of bad owners.

Your BABY kitten is bored. He is lonely and wanting to play just like kittens do with their litter mates. Just like you wouldn't take a human child and lock them in a room and never let them have interaction with anything ~ he will slowly drive you, him and your wife nuts. You need to worry less about punishment and more about spending quality time with the little baby. You did not adopt a darling cute baby kitten in order to punish it..at least I hope not and you don't seem to be a bad guy. Your infant cat is begging and pleading with you and your wife to bond with him, to play with him. You just need to find more appropriate type of games. You can teach him to fetch, you can get Da Bird as that toy is a total blast for owner and cat. You don't own a pet for the sole purpose of punishing them. That is an EXTREMELY small part of raising a kitten. Your kitten is screaming out the signs to you and rather then listening to what he is telling you, you just want to punish him =(
Its all very sad =(
 

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The biting phase is part of the package with kittens. Your cat is teething and cats don't get the idea of chew toys like dogs. Continue with the loud "no" and when he latches on...instead of pulling your hand or foot away...push it back towards him. He won't like it and will let go. That will also yield less damage to your appendages than pulling away. He will, in all likelihood, out grow this.

The idea of lightly scruffing and holding and telling him "no" isn't bad either. But don't dangle him, his weight can cause muscle damage.

If you're focused on punishing him, then give him away now...don't wait till he's a year old and you've ruined him.
 
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