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We adopted 2 male kittens last week from a shelter. They are roughly the same age but not from the same litter. We assumed they would be ok together since they were so young. The “bully” cat was alone in his cage and was apparently not socialized properly, which we only realized later. The other “smaller” boy was with other kittens in his cage.
The bullying started about 4 days after adoption. The bully bites the smaller one very, very hard. To the point where he cries in pain and growls. What I don’t understand is, after I break it up,the smaller one goes back and tries to play again. Only to get attacked once again. So I can’t tell if he’s being dramatic or not. But can see how hard he’s getting bitten and I know it hurts him. He is a bit vocally dramatic when I pick him up too. He’s a very vocal kitten.
Anyway, Today I had the smaller one at the vet for a few hours because he was losing weight and not eating. They think he may have a parasite. He was checked over and is fine innevery other way. So he doesn’t have an injury.
While he was gone, the bully kitten turned into my dream cat! Affectionate and loving and not acting crazy. I started to wonder if the bully prefers to be an only child. We are considering rehoming him but I really, really don’t want to do that. I love them both equally. We want 2 kittens to keep each other company so we’d keep the smaller one and get another one, maybe a girl.
Any thoughts? Anyone see this type of agresssion before? I’m desperate for it to work. I’ve had cats my whole life and never had to rehome.
 

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The bully kitten sounds as if he has missed out on all his socialization skills---control of bite and claws, reading body language/sounds---that he would have learned had he been kept with his momacat and litter mates from the time he was born to 3 mos. of age. Very difficult for a kitten to learn that afterwards. My suggestion is that things would go better if you re-home him to someone who wants one loving cat and tell them he doesn't want a cat-friend. Then I agree with your suggestion to get a female kitten around the same age as your other kitten. When you're looking for another kitten, it works out better if you let the kitten choose you, you will have a closer bond with it. And make sure that the kitten has learned its manners and is at least 3mos. old or more.
 

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Thank you for your response! Today we are having a good day. Maybe there’s some hope! The bully seems to be mellowing a little. We also bought multi cat Feliway diffusers so that could be helping too. We’ve decided to give it one more week but no longer since his chances of being easily rehomed will be better as a smaller kitten. It kills me to even have to type that. We’ve gotten so attached to them both. My boyfriend and I have been making sure to take them one by one into the bedroom and play and cuddle for some alone time with each of us. They seem to enjoy that.
I’ll update this post in a week to let anyone in a similar situation know how we chose to handle it. Or if it gets better! But yes, some cats are just meant to be singles as much as I hate to accept that for our guy.
 
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