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Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys, I know I got Sasha a couple of months ago now and she is best friends with Sherlock. If she isn't around he cries for her and they groom each other and play all day. Sherlock is 2 and he acts like the 4 month old kitten she is also. They are both very happy together.

Pearl is very unhappy. I know I mentioned in another thread that one of the cats was peeing outside of the litter box and so I took Pearl and Sherlock in and everything pretty much came back fine. Pearl had some crystals but she is now on a 100% wet food diet and took her back for retesting and a urine culture and everything came back fine. Tried Feliway the last couple of months and it worked okay at first, but I see her getting more and more stressed and lashing out at my other 2 cats.

I've tried the reintroduction things on that Little Big Cat article like has been suggested, and feeding them on opposite sides of the door, treats, toys, separate play times, everything. She is happiest just when it's her, if she sees the other 2 or we swap them out to get their play time she is miserable. She hisses at them and tries to swipe at them under the door, you can just tell by her body language that she isn't comfortable.

Sherlock and Sasha walk on eggshells around her too and I hate that. They are very relaxed and run around happily when she isn't around and then when they see her Sasha darts under the dining table. The other day I had Sasha in the linen closet to eat since I keep them separate when they eat and my husband accidentally let her out, she got to Pearl who growled at her and Sasha ran and hid in the linen closet the rest of the day. She is terrified of her. There are 4 litter boxes, 2 upstairs and 2 downstairs and everyone has separate feeding areas. I've been using baby gates and all that, but I just feel like this isn't the best situation. Sherlock grew up in a shelter and he missed having a cat companion and now that he has Sasha I don't want to take that away from him. They're both quite happy together, and it's pretty clear that Pearl would be alot happier being an only cat.

It breaks my heart, but I spoke with the shelter that I adopted her from and they want me to bring her in this afternoon. It's a no kill shelter, and they said they'd take her back immediately. She's a sweet girl, she just deserves to be the only one. I think all 3 of them would be a lot happier that way, and it isn't fair of me to keep trying to make them live like this, they're all unhappy. Sorry this is so long but I am just so sad about this decision even though I know it is the right thing for them. I feel like I failed.
 

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I don't think you need to feel you failed. You tried everything you could and it's not working, and it's stressful for you and the cats. As you say when Pearl's away in another room, it's a happy peaceful home. Some cats just can't or don't want to get along and do prefer to be an only cat. They can be quite happy getting all the attention and are too jealous to share. You can't force her to be friends or at least tolerant if she doesn't want to be.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Yeah, I know. I know it's the right thing. We tried, and it did help bring her out of her shell more, but I know she's a diva and would do best in a home where she can be the only one spoiled. It'll be hard to say goodbye but I know it's for the best.
 

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I agree with catloverami...you can't blame yourself. All of the cats and you will be happier in the future, without the constant stress of the current situation. I hope Pearl finds a new foreover home soon. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
:cry:Thanks guys. In my head I know you're right. She can be such a sweetheart and I know everyone deserves to be a lot calmer, and this is the way to go. But as soon as I load her in the car I know I'm going to be bawling.
 

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You didnt fail in the least bit. In fact you did it totally right. You tried and knew it wasnt going to work. You put what would make each cat the happiest first.

You didnt dump her outside, shove her into a kill shelter to save face so the first shelter wouldnt know. (weve had that happen once with a couple and we had to go pay to take the kittens out of the kill shelter that was on the mexican border 35 miles away)

Ive done over a hundred fosters. Had great sucess. But I got a pregnant kitten from outside. She was spayed and I took her back to recover in my garage. She would go crazy if she even heard the other cats on the other side of the door wanting to meet her. She would run and screech like demon from H*** and throw her self at the door to frighten them off. She loved people but her experiences outside frightened her of other cats. I did all the right things to bring her around. Even invited my cat whisperer friends over to give me suggestions. The conclusion was "shes one for the books"

My sister took her while I was going to be out of town for several weeks. My friend and I built and eleborate two story kennel for Sookie and told my sister to keep her in there. Well my sister let her out the first day not listening to me. she hissed and ran but never attacked any of her cats and now she is blending into my sister's household.

I learned from this that there is a perfect home for every cat. Plus there is lots of ways to do things. It just wasnt mine! Same with you. Pearl will get a great home esp because you did the selfless act to give her another chance where shed be happiest.

Sookie at 7 months old. Recovering from spay. I love her lipstick! We didnt know she was pregnant when sending her into be spayed but the vet said she may not have survived or the kittens either. She was way too young. She looks big in the photo but she was small.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks guys. That helps loads to hear from people who understand. My family would just be like "it's just a cat, it doesn't matter", but their happiness is everything to me. I'm about to go take her in now. Been petting her and giving her treats. She's soooo happy as long as she gets all the attention, but once she has to share she's a different cat. I hope she finds her forever home very soon, she deserves it. She will be missed but the house will be a lot less tense now.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Well, it's done. I loaded her in her carrier and she just meowed at me. I talked to her a bit and she was quiet but then Sherlock came up to me and she got mad and wouldn't look at me. Sherlock meowed and rubbed up against me like he was cheering me up and I knew it was the right thing to do. So I took her to the shelter and made sure they realize she needs to be an only cat. Said my goodbyes with a few tears and left.

Thank you all for your kind words. It hasn't quite hit me yet that she's really gone but the other 2 guys seem much happier already. So I know it was for the best.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Sherlock and Sasha are sooo happy. I'm heartbroken and happy at the same time, if that's possible. I will try to take some pictures of them later. It makes me feel better to know they're a lot more relaxed now, but earlier when I went to feed them I broke down because I expected Pearl to be there meowing at me that she was starving, and then turning her nose up at the food if it wasn't to her liking. She had her quirks but man I'm going to miss her.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I had Pearl first. She was almost 5. I got her in January of this year. Sherlock I got in March. Sasha was dumped in the parking lot a couple of months ago.
 
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