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This may be a bit long, please forgive me.

My 9 yr. old girl, Hermione, was recently diagnosed w/ renal failure. Right now, after doing IV fluids for months and having special kidney food, her kidneys are in good condition. However, she has also been battling IBD for over 4 years.

In the past year, she has dropped from 12 lbs. to 7.5. Since she has been diagnosed w. IBD, she has VERY rarely made proper use of the litterbox, but as of late it has gotten WAY worse. My husband and myself are used to cleaning up accidents, but it has escalated to about at least 3 times a day we are cleaning/scraping up accidents...On our floors, furniture, cloths, carpeting, etc. We actually have to redo the flooring in our brand new home b.c her accidents have destroyed the floor.

We also have a 7 month old daughter who is crawling, and has crawled once into an accident already we didn't see until it was too late. We have 2 other cats and a dog, and all 3 of them are behind on their vet visits b.c I have been throwing all my money at getting my Hermione better.

I have spent years trying to get her IBD under control w/ diet, meds, etc., w/ no luck...It would get better for awhile, and then of course decline again. She is on Pred right now and Baytril, and all is does is kind of harden her accidents, but its never normal stool. I have literally spent thousands and hours and hours. She is my first child and I love her. She's my best friend.

After a very hard week last week with her and her IBD, I called my vet crying b.c I couldn't take it anymore. I have a job, a house, an infant daughter, and 3 other pets that need me, and I spend at least an hour and a half daily tending to her and cleaning up after her. She no longer grooms herself. She is vomiting bile constantly, and as I have said, having daily frequent accidents. She is constantly hungry and thirsty. After talking w. my vet, we agreed to give her meds one more week to see if a miracle would happen...It did not. Today, I called to make an appt. for Friday to put her to sleep. My vet feels it is of course my decision, and says I have done more for her than most people would have...She said she is a sick kitty w. 2 serious conditions...Her IBD was never in control, and although her kidneys are Ok now, she will eventually get bad again.

I guess I am writing b.c I am devastated, and I need someone to tell me I am doing the right thing. She is not knocking on deaths door right now, but in my opinion waiting for her to be completely miserable to put her to sleep isn't fair to her. She doesn't seem to be in a lot of pain, but I know her IBD is painful for her. I don't think it's fair for her for the pain to be unbearable to put her to sleep, but at the same time I feel like a bad Mommy for putting her to sleep when outwardly it appears she still has a bit of life in her. But she was always a fastidious groomer, and now she's not, and I can't imagine it's too great a life always spending your waking hours begging for food and water, not to mention having diarrehea and vomiting.

I wish beyond anything finances weren't an issue, and I had an endless supply to give to each animal. Since August, I have spent over $2000 on Hermione alone...And this was money I didn't have to spend. This is on top of the thousands I have already spent, and spent gladly, to keep her and all of my animals in the best of health.

My husband and I both feel at our breaking point, emotionally, financially, physically. I am heartbroken, and constantly trying to find a way to get out of putting her to sleep, but I have spent the past 4 months trying to save her and I don't know what else to do. I can't put my daughters health and safety at risk, and I have to have money to take care of my other pets as well, not to mention my mortgage, car payments, utilities, etc.

I love her so much, it's all I can think about, and I pray she knows how much she is loved, how I will never forget her, and how heartbroken I am my daughter will not grow up with her as her best friend. She has been there through literally the best and worst times of my life. I expected at the very least another 9 years with her, and I worry her brother and sister won't be the same.
 

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I would let her go, you've really done all you could. Sometimes the best thing to do is also the hardest. Her brother and sister have each other and will be okay.

I truly believe that people and animals come into our lives when we need them the most. That was true with Cinderella and it sounds like the same with Hermione.

You are so right not to wait until the pain is unbearable. It will be hard and you will question yourself afterwards, that's normal. But it does sound like it's time, and it's the right thing to do. :patback
 

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I've never had to make the choice you have but it sure sounds to me like you are making the right decision. You've done (as you've said) much more than most ppl would have.. I'm sorry you have to go through this..
 

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It's a terrible, heartbreaking burden on us humans, being in the position to make these types of decisions. The sad truth is that these beloved cats of ours have shorter lifespans than we do, so we almost always end up being the ones who have to endure the loss of the other. We're taking one for the team, that's for sure. Then again, what would have happened to Hermione if she hadn't ended up with you? I think you should take great pride in the life you've given her, which we know from your description of her illnesses hasn't always been easy.

I've made this decision too, which was of course heartbreaking. I made it on the earlier side as well, and looking back, I still know it was the humane thing to do.
 

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I'm so sorry you, your family and Hermione are going through this. What you describe is not a good life for anyone concerned, including Hermione. She can't be very happy given what she's going through. I think, given the circumstances, you're doing the right thing for all concerned.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I can't tell you the comfort you all have given me. I still feel very upset and I am still questioning a bit, but I feel better to know others have been there and I am not alone.

Thank you for your time and thoughts. Please keep my little Hermione in your prayers this week.
 
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